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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Only Drinking In Knowledge

| Wales, UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(It’s about 11 am and a very hot day. There are only a couple of customers having cold drinks in our cafe opposite my desk. A customer comes in and spends 10 minutes under the cold air fan above the door before making his way to my reception desk.)

Me: “Good morning.”

Customer: “One beer, please.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, we don’t serve alcohol, but the cafe has cold drinks.”

(He looks blankly at me, then at the cafe on the other side of the room.)

Customer: “I’ll just have whatever you got on tap, love.”

Me: “This is the reception desk for the building. We don’t serve alcohol. But there is a pub just three doors down.”

Customer: “Oh… what is this place, then? You’ve got people eating.”

Me: “We are a museum.”

Customer: “Really… Well, you should sell beer.”

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Supervision Derision

, | Philippines | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(I am working for an off-shore call center that makes reservations for a big hotel chain. Sometimes guests would like to be connected to the hotel they are booking their room with. For most of the hotels we can ring their front desk directly and transfer the guest but some of them are a little strict due to the busy location of the hotel; therefore, they only accept calls that are out of our area of expertise. Should we need to contact these hotels, a supervisor gets involved to make sure the transfer is valid. After 30 minutes on the phone I have to connect the guest to one of the strict hotels for directions around local attractions for which I have no idea about. It should be noted that the guest is very talkative and extremely nice all throughout the call, and because of this the usual booking that only takes three to five minutes is extended.)

Me: *to my supervisor* “Hey there, I need to connect a caller to this [Hotel] for directions at the local area.”

Supervisor: “Sure, my pleasure. Send her over but no need to introduce me.”

(Now on a three-way conference, but with the supervisor not talking. I assume on mute:)

Me: “Hi there, Mrs. [Caller]. Thank you for waiting. I will be connecting you now to the hotel’s front desk as promised. Please stay on the line and you may hear some background music play until the front desk will pick up.”

Caller: “Oh, sure, honey, take your time. Thank you so much for being so nice and helpful. Now you have a bright and shiny day, child.”

(Suddenly my supervisor, on the line, starts coughing. Both I and my caller are startled.)

Caller: “Whoa. Darling is that you? You might be dying.”

Supervisor: “Oh, crap! I forgot to mute. Excuse me.”

Caller: “Now who the h*** is that?!

(After a few seconds of silence. Most likely my supervisor took the time to clear his throat.)

Caller: “Helloooo?! Helloooo?!”

Supervisor: “Oh, hi, Mrs. [Caller]. I am [Supervisor].”

Caller: “Now, hold on just a minute! Were you just eavesdropping on our call? Young man, that is a very, very rude thing to do!”

Supervisor: “I apologize but—”

Caller: *in a very stern tone* “No! Excuse me. I am not finished yet. Your mother obviously didn’t teach you any polite manners. It is rude to eavesdrop to someone else’s phone call especially if it is a private conversation! You should learn some good manners from [My Name]!”

(She went on, lecturing him about good manners and what the bible teaches. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing on the other line while I eavesdrop on them for a few more minutes (unlike my supervisor, I didn’t forgot to mute). And to make it worse, she asked for a supervisor and he desperately tried to explain that HE was the supervisor.)

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Flirt, Camera, Action

| USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Love/Romance, Popular, Rude & Risque, Technology

(I am filling in at a different branch on this particular day. A guy who looks old enough to be my dad walks up to my window.)

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to get a money order today.”

Me: “Sure thing. Do you have an account with us?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, no problem, I’ll just need your ID and a few other pieces of information to get that done for you.”

Customer: “Ask away. I do this every month!”

(I quickly complete the transaction, as the customer is staring at me, and I am extremely uncomfortable. After I hand him the money order…)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “I was also lookin’ for a cute girl…” *grins at me and leans in closer*

(I take a small step backward and try not to let my expression change.)

Me: “Is there anything else BANKING-related that I can help you with today?”

Customer: *visibly disappointed* “Well, no. That didn’t work, huh?”

Me: “Er… no.”

Customer: “Oh, well. At least that wasn’t on tape or anything. That would be really embarrassing.”

(Without saying a word, I point to the security camera above my head.)

Customer: *looks up, expression goes from disappointment to horror* “THOSE THINGS ACTUALLY WORK?!”

Me: “Yes, sir, they sure do.”

Customer: “NOW IT’S ON TAPE?!” *runs out the door*

Coworker: “What was THAT?!”

Me: *puts head down on counter* “I think it’s time for a break…”

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In Receipt Of New Information

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(A customer has finished paying for her order.)

Me: “Would you like a receipt?”

Customer: “Do you get money for offering receipts?”

Me: “No, they print automatically. Some people use them for tax or to keep to a budget.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought the banks must pay you to offer receipts. Why does everyone offer me a receipt?”

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That Was A Close Shave

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I was working at a large chain retail store that has a variety of electronic gadgets. This customer is asking about some of our electric shavers. I’m female and helping a male customer.)

Me: *showing a particular model of shaver* “This model is safe to use in the shower and is one of our more popular sellers.”

Male Customer: “Does it give a good, close shave for your face?”

Me: *jokingly* “Well, it shaves my beard pretty well.” *chuckle*

Male Customer: *reaches out and caresses my cheek* “Mmmmm, yes, you do have soft skin.”

Me: *hands him the shaver* “Okay, you have a good day, then.”

(I walked away and he left the store right after that.)

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