Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!


A Very Large Closing Sign

| NJ, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(At our department store, we have overhead announcements at half-hour, fifteen, ten and five minutes before the store is closing, alerting customers to please bring all final purchases to the registers, etc. We also usually have one of the team leads (TLs) up by the front doors to let people know we’ll be closing soon and to please come back if it’s not a small, urgent purchase. The TL on the job this night is about 6’5″ and around 300 pounds, and this apparently happens at least three times a night whenever he’s given the duty.)

Team Lead: “Sorry, folks, we’re going to be closing soon.”

(He says this with a cheerful smile and a general gesture towards the exit doors; the would-be-customers end up looking TERRIFIED, and bolt out!)

Me: “[Team Lead], you’re not scary looking! Why do they freak out?”

Team Lead: “Apparently they’re not used to having someone that is too big to ignore tell them things!”


Closing Before It Gets Too Hairy

Kansas City, MO, USA | Bizarre, Time

Me: *answering phone* “Hello, this is [Store]. How can I help you?”


Me: “If you mean fake moustaches for costumes, yes.”

Customer: “Great. What time do you close?”

Me: “In about 10 minutes.”

Customer: “Can you stay open? I really need those moustaches and I’m on [Road that is 30 minutes away].”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I have to close at nine.”

(Even if I wanted to stay open longer, I wouldn’t be able to as corporate sets the hours of operation and if I stay late I could be fired.)

Customer: “Please? What if you buy them for me and leave them outside the door? I’ll tape the money to the door.”

Me: “I don’t believe in lending money to strangers.”

Customer: “C’mon, don’t be a b****. I need these moustaches.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m ending this conversation.”

(I hung up the phone and started closing the store. Around the time I left the customer showed up to scream at me through the locked door. I guess those moustaches were really important!)


Throw In Some Goat Cheese While You’re At It

, | Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I work the night shift at a fast food restaurant making the orders. It is about 2 a.m. and my coworker is taking an order in the drive-thru at the speaker box and I’m listening in.)

Customer: *incoherent rambling with the word “goat” in there somewhere*

Coworker: “Sorry, I can’t understand you; can I take your order at the window?”

Coworker: *to me after taking their order* “They want to know if you can make a salad for their goat.”

Me: *laughing* “I guess I can do that. This is the first time I’ve made an order for a goat.”

(They had a goat in the back seat of their car and gave it the salad. On my way home from work in the morning, I found the goat tied to a power pole. As it turned out, it wasn’t their goat. Luckily, I found its owner and it got home safely.)


I’m Suda-Fed Up

| MT, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(A customer comes up to me with two packages of a popular over-the-counter drug brand; one is for treating cold symptoms and one is a sleep aid only.)

Customer: “I’m not sure which one to get.”

Me: *pointing to the orange box* “Well, this one treats symptoms of a minor cold, like stuffy nose and chest congestion, and this one—” *pointing to the blue box* “—is a sleep aid.”

Customer: “Which one should I get?”

Me: “Do you have a cold or do you need help falling asleep?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Can you put them behind your back and mix them up, then I’ll just pick a hand and go with it.”

Me: “It might just be better to choose the one that fits your symptoms.”

Customer: *pushing the boxes at me* “No, this will be fine. Just mix them up behind your back, and I’ll pick one.”

Me: “Um, okay.” *dutifully puts the boxes behind my back and switches hands*

(The customer picks the hand that was holding the sleep aid.)

Customer: “Great! This is perfect. THANKS!”

Me: “You’re welcome?”


Forbidden Fruit

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Popular

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but food isn’t allowed up here. You’ll have to eat it outside.”

Patron: *proceeds to dump a pint container’s-worth of fruit salad in his mouth, all at once*

Me: “…or that”.

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