Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Not Receiving The Right Answer

| Englewood, CO, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(I am ringing up a customer.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Oh, okay.” *hands him receipt*

Customer: “Oh. I meant yeah as in ‘no’.”

Me: “Ah, yes, I also mean the exact opposite of what I say.”

Her Facebook Is Going Down The Toilet (Paper)

| Mena, AR, USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I am usually a cashier, but, in some circumstances when the business is slow, a manager will ask me to put up things that were left behind at registers. I’m busy returning some toiletries to the toilet paper aisle when I see a woman staring indecisively at a package of toilet paper in her hand.)

Woman: “Hmmm.”

(She places the package into her buggy and continues to stare.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with, ma’am?”

Woman: “Oh, no! I’m fine.”

(She turns away from me and pulls her cellphone out of her back pocket. Quickly, she snaps a photo of the toilet paper lying in her cart.)

Woman: “Wow, that’s a good picture! I’m going to put it on Facebook.”

(Pleased with herself, she smiled and threw the package back onto the shelf. I, confused, moved along with my returns, shaking my head in disbelief.)

Asking The Wrong Questions

| UT, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a well known chain fabric store. A customer approaches me with a bolt of fabric.)

Customer: “Can you tell me if you have this in black?”

(There’s no easy way to find a fabric in a different color because it has a different number so it’s a job of pulling down every bolt of that color and looking for the name. But I’ll always try on the off chance I can find it.)

Me: “Sure, let’s take a look.”

(After pulling down 20+ bolts of black fabric and checking the names, I can’t find it.)

Me: “Looks like I’m all out of that one in black, unfortunately.”

Customer: “Okay. Where would it be if it were in the wrong place?”

Me: “…”

That’s What You Call A Coke Addict

| Altamonte Springs, FL, USA | Bizarre, Religion

(I am volunteering at an annual festival we have at my church. It’s my first time. I’m serving soft drinks. I am 13 and a middle-aged lady orders.)

Customer: “Can I get a Diet Coke?”

Me: “All we have is Pepsi. Will that be okay?”

Customer: “What? All you have is Pepsi? How much does it cost?”

Me: “One dollar, ma’am.”

Customer: “That won’t do. Where can I get a Coke?”

Me: “You won’t find any Coca-Cola products here, ma’am.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You wouldn’t know quality beverages if it hit you in the face. I demand you tell me where I can get my d*** Diet Coke!”

Me: “Well, if you must there’s a Publix right down the—”

Customer: “Go to h***!”

(One of the nuns overhears this and pulls the lady aside. The lady begins to turn pale as the nun speaks to her. After about five minutes of speaking with the nun the lady leaves. The nun comes over to where I am.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. What did you say to her?”

Nun: “Doesn’t matter. All we need is Jesus.”

It’s Like Talking To A Wall-Phone

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

Me: “Welcome to [Phone Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. My phone doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay, You’ve rung the number to find out who your phone company is currently. Would you like to know who your phone company is so you can report it?”

Customer: *getting angry* “No, I want to know why my phone doesn’t work. There is nothing on the other end, no dial tone, nothing. I can’t make any calls!”

Me: “You would have to report that to your phone company. Do you know who that is?”

Customer: “I don’t have one.”

Me: *now a bit confused* “Erm… sorry?”

Customer: “I don’t have a phone company. I found an old telephone in the shed, so I plugged it in to the wall to see what would happen, and I can’t make any calls! It’s a disgrace!”

Me: *rendered speechless* “Erm…”

Customer: “What if I was dying or something ? How would I make a call? The government should do something about it; this is a disgrace!”

Me: “So how are you calling me right now?”

Customer: “On my cell phone.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t help you unless you want to know who your home-phone company is, and… you don’t have one.”

Customer: “That’s not good enough! I’m not hanging up until you tell me who I can complain to about this!”

Me: “Madam, as I said before, we are a customer service line to let you know who your current land-line provider is. As you don’t have a land-line, you don’t have a provider. And plugging a phone into a random socket doesn’t mean you automatically have a phone service. With anyone.”

(The customer would not hang up until I gave them the number of ‘someone’ who could fix this. Eventually I gave them the number of the Telecommunications Ombudsman, which she seemed quite happy with. I wonder what THEY made of her call?)

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