Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Getting Mustard Flustered

| USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am training the new guy on how to work a register at the movie theater where I work at. He is doing really well until he gets a very special request.)

Customer: “Hi, one hot dog and some yellow ketchup, please.”

Trainee: “Uh, yellow ketchup?”

Customer: “You know, the yellow ketchup? You put it on hot dogs and cheeseburgers. It’s really tangy and gives you a weird tingle on your tongue.”

Trainee: *very confused* “Do you mean mustard?”

Customer: “No, no, yellow ketchup. It’s really good.” *to me* “You know what I’m talking about right?”

Me: “Oh, of course. I’ll be right back with that.”

(I go to the condiment island and grab a couple packets of mustard and cross off “mustard” and write “yellow ketchup” in sharpie on the packet and give it to the gentleman.)

Me: “Here you go, sir.”

Customer: “Thank you very much; have a wonderful day.”

(The customer walks away and my trainee turns to me.)

Trainee: “But that was just a mustard packet?”

Me: “I’ll tell you one thing from my year of working here: Sometimes you just have to pick your battles.”

They’re Talking Gumbo-Jumbo

| SC, USA | Bizarre, Tourists/Travel

Caller: “Hello, I am a travel planner looking for some information for a client of mine and I was wondering if you could help me.”

Me: “I certainly can. What information do you need?”

Caller: “Do you know where they might hold Mardi Gras celebrations?”

(This throws me off a bit, as Mardi Gras isn’t a big thing around here at all, and anyway it had already happened the week before.)

Me: “I don’t see anything on our events calendar. Since Mardi Gras already happened I don’t think we’d see any events until next year, and our members don’t usually plan them so far ahead.”

Caller: *confused, but still pleasant* “All right. Also… do you know of any Cajun churches?”

Me: “Er… we don’t have a huge Cajun culture around here. We do have a significant Gullah Geechee community, but they don’t really have churches that are open to visitors.”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Ma’am?”

Caller: “Did I call [My City]?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Caller: “I meant to call New Orleans. I am so sorry.”

(We had a good laugh and I was able to give her some information about the city I actually work for. Still one of the best calls I’ve ever gotten.)

Walking A Thin Line

| Boone, IA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work as a cashier at a grocery store. A couple of customers, one male who is very flamboyant and a female, come through my line.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Female Customer: “I would like two packs of [Brand] cigarettes.”

(The cigarettes are located at an express register a few lanes down from mine. I go get the cigarettes and come back.)

Me: “Will that be all today?”

Female Customer: “Can you get me two more packs? He wants to see you walk again.”

(I’ve never walked more stiff legged in my life.)

Taking The Long Route(r)

| Israel | Bigotry, Bizarre, Technology

(I work at the IT office in the city I live in. I’m female. I get a call from a city-funded kindergarten:)

Me: “IT office.”

Kindergarten Teacher: “Hi, we have a problem with the computer here. The Internet isn’t working.”

Me: “I see. Let’s see if there’s a way we can get this fixed over the phone, so you don’t have to wait for me to get to you.”

Kindergarten Teacher: “Look, is there no way you can just send someone over?”

Me: “I’m the person who usually goes out into the field. The reason I’m taking calls right now is that it’s still early in the morning, and no one else has arrived yet. These problems are very often easy to fix, and it would be a shame for you to wait until I got to you, only for me to restart your router, which you could easily do yourself and have Internet within minutes.”

Kindergarten Teacher: “But you don’t understand. We’re all women here, so we don’t know anything about computers. Just send one of the guys out. They’ll be able to fix it.”

(Having no words, I ended the call. The kicker is that I didn’t end up getting to that Kindergarten until hours later. Needless to say that all I did was restart the router, and they had Internet minutes later.)

Getting Under Your Skin

| USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a popular makeup store doing people’s makeup and hair. A woman walks up to the counter and taps the table to get my attention.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need my makeup done for a date. I haven’t seen him in a while and I want to look different.”

Me: “What do you mean by different? ”

(I’m thinking that she means a hairstyle, so I begin to grab some of our booklets with the styles we offer.)

Customer: “Like your skin!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “What do you use to make it so brown? The tanning spray I use makes my skin look orange.”

Me: “This is my natural skin tone, ma’am.”

Customer: “Whatever, you don’t have to tell me. Just do my makeup. I don’t want to be late.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I can’t change your natural skin tone; it’s not possible.”

Customer: “Fine! Screw you! If he doesn’t like how I look I’ll get you fired!”

Coworker: “Easy, Breezy, Colored girl.”

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