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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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Feeding His Imagination

| Plymouth, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Love/Romance

(I have just convinced a customer to order a large piece of cake and a large drink, rather than just the biscuit he originally wanted.)

Customer: “You must have a lot of boyfriends.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Men love girls who know how to feed them. You obviously get that, so you must have loads of boyfriends.”

Me: *laughing* “Just the one, sir.”

Customer: *looking genuinely sad* “What a waste…”

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Got Them Dead In Your Sights

| UK | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(We have a database of all of our customers,. Once in a blue moon we get a relative of someone phoning to let us know they’re dead.)

Me: *on phone* “Hello, you’re through to [Opticians]; how can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, you sent a letter to my father telling him he needs a sight test. I’m afraid he’s dead now.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.”

Customer: “Don’t worry about it; he was a moron.”

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How To Troll(ey) Yourself

| Ireland | Bizarre, Popular

(I’m sitting at the customer service desk when I notice a lady dump a load of items on top of a load of display boxes. She disappears off into the shop again and after a few minutes comes up and dumps more stuff on the boxes. The next time she comes back I go over to her with a trolley.)

Me: “Hi there! Thought you could use a trolley!”

Lady: “Oh, thank you! That’s a big help.”

(The lady proceeds to put all her items into the trolley before wandering off into the shop for more things she needs, leaving her trolley full of shopping behind her. A few minutes later she comes back, this time struggling to carry three 10-litre buckets of paint. My manager comes out onto the floor and notices her.)

Manager: “You’ll put your back out carrying those! Let me get you a trolley.”

Lady: “Oh, I’m fine thanks. I already have one here.” *gesturing at the paint that she put on the trolley* “Man, I wish there was an easier way to carry these things about.”

(The lady walks off into the shop again. My manager turns around and looks at me confused.)

Me: “I don’t think she understands how trolleys work.”