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Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

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That Was A Close Shave

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I was working at a large chain retail store that has a variety of electronic gadgets. This customer is asking about some of our electric shavers. I’m female and helping a male customer.)

Me: *showing a particular model of shaver* “This model is safe to use in the shower and is one of our more popular sellers.”

Male Customer: “Does it give a good, close shave for your face?”

Me: *jokingly* “Well, it shaves my beard pretty well.” *chuckle*

Male Customer: *reaches out and caresses my cheek* “Mmmmm, yes, you do have soft skin.”

Me: *hands him the shaver* “Okay, you have a good day, then.”

(I walked away and he left the store right after that.)

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Can’t Be Flexible With A**-Holes

| Oakville, ON, Canada | Bizarre

(I work on the sales floor of a running shoe store chain that also sells other sporting goods. A very agitated customer and his wife walk in.)

Customer: “I demand to see the manager! I need help!”

Me: “We currently don’t have a manager on staff right now, but I’m happy to help you.”

Customer: “Fine. I need flexible shorts!”

Me: “Can you be a little more specific?”

Customer: “I am being specific. Do you not understand the word flexible?!”

(I start showing the guy our shorts. The store is quite busy and my other coworkers are busy with customers, but both shoot me concerned glances.)

Customer: “None of these are flexible!”

Me: “Are you looking for something tight or stretchy? Spandex perhaps?”

Customer: “No! Flexible!”

(I consider asking him if he would like to see our selection of chain-mail shorts, but I reconsider.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but these are all the men’s shorts we have.”

Customer: “Fine! Screw this!”

(He promptly left, dragging his wife with him. She gave me an apologetic look on the way out. The guy hadn’t been in the store for more than a few minutes.)

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Stepping Up To The Regular-Sized Plate

| Twin Cities, MN, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Popular

(The place I work at features an all-you-can-eat spaghetti dish. It’s one of our most popular pasta items but is a pretty generous serving, so not too many people order extra plates. Our spaghetti also comes in two portions, a standard portion, as well as a half portion. Often times, if people order an extra plate of spaghetti, the waitress will actually ask the kitchen staff for a half portion, since few people finish a second portion and we don’t like to see too much food wasted.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “I thought your spaghetti was all you can eat.”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “Well, I ordered a second plate but it’s a lot smaller than the first…”

Me: “Oh, we sometimes do that just in case people aren’t as hungry as they think they are. It happens more than you’d think.”

Customer: “But I thought it was all you can eat!”

Me: “It is.”

Customer: “But I want more than this!”

Me: “Well, when you finish that, we can bring you another plate if you’d like.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yup. It’s all you can eat so we’ll keep bringing you plates until you’re full.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Great!” *goes back to eating happily*

(I made sure his waitress brought him a full portion the next time he asked for a refill. In the end he ended up eating almost four plates of spaghetti, plus a side salad and a generous portion of bread!)