Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Makes You Want To Bury Your Head In The Sand

| USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working a sand art booth at a fair that comes to my city every year. I had the sand set up in the front of the booth so the kids could see it and fill up their jar with whatever colors they like. A little boy that looks around 8 or 9 years old approaches my booth.)

Little Boy: “Excuse me, miss.”

Me: “Hello. How may I help you?”

Little Boy: “What flavors are each of these?”

Me: “Um… it’s sand.”

(The little boy looks at me in confusion. After a few seconds he points to the purple container of sand.)

Little Boy: “So… is the purple grape flavored?”

Thou Shalt Not Pay Full Price

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Religion

(I work at a hardware store. I come across a man in an aisle with his head bowed down.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything, sir?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I’m just praying for a coupon.”

He’s A Cracked Egg

| NJ, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(Practically closing time and a spacey customer walks in and eventually stumbles to the register.)

Customer: “Can you fry some eggs up for me?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “I’d really like some eggs.”

Me: “I can’t help you.”

Customer: “Where can I get eggs?”

Me: “I don’t know, but not here.”

Customer: “I really want eggs.”

Me: “I can’t make you eggs.”

Customer: “Really? I thought you said you had eggs.”

Me: “No. I said we don’t have eggs.”

(A long and unnecessary amount of time later.)

Customer: “Oh.” *leaves*

A More Sedate Type Of Customer

| UK | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I’m on the checkout serving a customer who has done nothing but smile and stare at me silently the entire time. I’m pretty sure she hasn’t blinked at all either. I’m debating whether to ask her when she starts leaning unhealthily to the right.)

Me: “Miss, are you all right?”

Woman: “Oh, I’m fine. I took some sedatives before coming in. I was hoping to make it home before they kicked in but, oh well.”

(She waved me off as she turned and headed for the exit, leaving me and her purchases behind. She made it about halfway down before she collapsed. We called an ambulance and tried to bring her around. The paramedics knew her by name.)

The Butterfly Defect

| UK | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(I’m answering the phone at a small zoo; mostly, this is people asking for directions or prices, but we get the odd… interesting call.)

Caller: “Hello, there’s a large moth in my garage. Could someone come and get it, please?”

Me: “A moth? We do have a butterfly hall. Do you mean you’re local and you think it’s one of ours that’s escaped?”

Caller: “I don’t know! I live in [Town 20 miles away], and there’s just this big, brightly coloured moth in my garage, and now I can’t go in there! I hate moths!”

Me: “Well, I’m afraid we’re not actually an animal rescue, and that really is a bit of a trip. It’s definitely not one of our butterflies that far away.”

Caller: “Can’t you help anyway? I’m freaking out here!”

Me: “Umm, it’s possible if it’s a big, bright species that it may be rare, and one of our staff may be willing to go and catch it for you after work, as he’s a keen photographer with an interest in moths. If you want, I’ll ask him. What colour is it?”

(The line goes silent for a moment.)

Caller: “Beige?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we really can’t help. Maybe you can ask a neighbour to let it out?”

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