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Category: Bigotry

This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

Straight-Talking Money

| Spokane, WA, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Money

(I am working the queue for a regional bank, when an absolutely furious customer calls in.)

Caller: “I want to cancel my account RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Can I get some information from you to pull up your account?”

Caller: “Let me tell you WHY I am canceling my account. I went down to my branch today and do you know who you have working for you? A god-d*** [homophobic slur]. I refuse to do business with a bank who hires such immoral abominations against God! If you want to keep my business, you’ll have that flaming f** fired ASAP!”

Me: “Ma’am, the federal law states we cannot discriminate against a person’s sexual preference. So, no, we will not fire him simply because he is a homosexual. Secondly, in order to close your account, you’ll need to go down to your local branch. There are some documents the law requires you to sign.”

Caller: “This is bull-s***! Who do I talk to at the branch?”

Me: “You’d speak to the manager… the gay manager. He’s the only one who can close your account.”

That Kind Of Behavior Is Just Not Cricket

| London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography

(I’m standing in line at a corner shop. The customer at the till is a typical 40-something skinhead, wearing an England football shirt. He’s harassing the cashier because of the difference between the display price of a packet of cigarettes, and what he’s being charged.)

Customer: “THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! IT’S ILLEGAL!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but due to the changes in taxes, we’ve had to increase the price. We haven’t had time to change the signs yet.”

Customer: “THAT’S BULLSHIT! YOU’RE NOT FROM HERE! WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!”

(The cashier isn’t ethnically British, but he’s been working at the store for a few years now and is a pretty decent guy.)

Cashier: “That doesn’t matter, sir. Could you just pay for your items?”

Customer: “I SAID WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!”

Cashier: *rolling his eyes* “Sri Lanka.”

(The customer tries to think of an insult using the tiny amount of brainpower not given over to alcohol and rage.)

Customer: “…yeah … well your cricket team is s***!”

(The customer then storms off after paying for the cigarettes. I go up to the register.)

Me: “Didn’t Sri Lanka just win the Cricket World Cup?”

Not Painting A Pretty Picture Of Himself, Part 2

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bigotry, Funny Names, Home Improvement

(I’m a female who works in the paint department. It’s quiet, and a male coworker and I are chatting. He knows nothing about paint. We are approached by an older male customer.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

(The customer ignores me, and turns to my coworker.)

Customer: “I need to paint my doors. Do you have animal paint?”

(I try and keep a straight face at this.)

Coworker: “Sorry, sir, I would not know. [My Name] is more than qualified, and can help you.”

Customer: *turning to me, visibly annoyed* “She’s a girl; she wouldn’t know. Okay missy, where’s the animal paint?”

Me: “Sir, what I think you mean is ‘enamel’ paint. There are two types. Water and—”

Customer: *angry* “No, stupid girl! Didn’t you hear me? ANIMAL PAINT! Not whatever you said.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we only have acrylic or enamel paint. Maybe you were misled?”

(The customer slams his items on the counter and turns around screaming.)

Customer: “F****** women should stay in the kitchen!” *turns to face me* “ANIMAL PAINT!”

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Not Painting A Pretty Picture Of Himself