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Category: Bigotry

This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

A Development For The Lesser Developed

| Manila, Philippines | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Technology

(I am a technical support person for an ISP in Australia. Customers often ask us where the calls are routed to. They really don’t mind as long as you help them but this one is just different. After walking an irate customer through the troubleshooting steps:)

Customer: “Where is this call routed to?”

Me: “Your call has been routed here in the Philippines.”

Customer: *in a rude tone* “So, I’m basically talking to a monkey?”

Me: “Yes, sir. A monkey who’s teaching you how to use your pocket wifi.”

Customer: “…” *click*

Bigots United

| MA, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I am the assistant manager at a rent-to-own home goods company. Since payments pay for the week in advance there are no grace periods and, due to the customer base, repossessions are common. I am female, white, pagan, and lesbian. My boss is male, Cambodian, Buddhist, and an immigrant.)

Customer: *storms in* “You guys are racist! I’m gonna sue you all!”

Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Your truck showed up and took my s***! I want it back now or I’ll sue you f*** racists!”

Me: “Let me take a look at your account so we can figure out what is going on. What’s your name?”

Customer: “You know d** well what my name is! This whole store is a bunch of f****** racists.”

(Aside from myself and the manager we only have two other employees. One is male, Hispanic, and very Catholic, and the other is male, a very dark skinned Haitian, and practices voodoo. Between the four of us we represent four religions, four races, gay/straight, married/unmarried, young/middle age, male/female, etc… My manager comes out from his office.)

Manager: “Hello, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “You are all a bunch of racists and bigots. You sent your truck just to persecute me!”

Manager: “Sir, please calm down. We sent out truck because you have not been in to pay your bill in three weeks.”

Customer: “Bulls***! You sent it because you can’t stand someone like me to have nice things!”

(My truck guys are protective over me. They hear the commotion and come out of the back, standing behind me and the manager.)

Customer: “Give me my s*** back! I’m gonna call the cops and tell them what a bunch of f****** racists you are!”

Me: “We would be happy to return the items, sir. We just need you to catch your account up. With three weeks behind, and then the next week ahead, it makes four weeks total. That comes to—”

Customer: “Oh, H***, NO! I’m not paying that s***! You bunch of bigots! You are gonna give me back my s*** for FREE or I’m gonna sue!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You need to catch up your account before we can re-deliver.”

Customer: “Listen here, you little b****! I know my rights! I’m gonna sue! You’re all a bunch of racists and bigots!”

Truck Guy: “Against what, exactly?”

(The customer finally paused long enough to look at us… in all of our cultural rainbow glory… then turned and walked out quickly!)

A (Religiously) Extreme Reaction

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Bigotry, Books & Reading, Religion

(Our inbound services take calls for a lot of the as-seen-on-TV products. I am working there soon after 9/11 and we have a particular caller who would often call to rant about how we were a scam.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Why the h*** would I want to buy a thing of Charlton Heston reading the Bible? Do you know what kind of a man he is?”

Me: “You’re calling for the ‘Charlton Heston Reads the Bible’ then, sir?”

Caller: “H***, yes, I’m calling about that. I want to know what sort of d*** outfit you’re running there that you think I’d want to buy a thing of Heston reading the Bible.”

Me: “Well, I can’t say what you would like, sir, but a lot of people seem to like this product. It has been fairly popular. Possibly because Charlton Heston played Moses in The Ten Commandments.”

Caller: “Like h*** he did! And like h*** this is popular. Didn’t you know that Charlton Heston was part of the NRA!”

Me: “Yes, I was aware of that.”

Caller: “Then why the hell would anyone let him read the Bible? You know, I’ll bet he was working with this Al Qaeda people!”

Me: “No, sir, I’m fairly certain that Charlton Heston is affiliated with an entirely separate group of religious extremists.”

(I somehow never got written up for this.)