Category: Bigotry

This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

Giving You A Tip Right Back

| Novi, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink

(It is shortly after nine on a Monday night. I have not had a single table since seven so the cook, who is the owner’s son and my age, and I decide to close up shop early. On a regular Monday we close at ten so we are only closing 45 minutes early. Then all of a sudden the phone rings while I am closing up the cash register. Seeing as we are the only two in the restaurant I answer on speaker phone so I can still use my hands to count the drawer.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *irate* “Yeah why the f*** are your doors closed?”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, sir. The owners have chosen to close a bit early tonight. So sorry for the inconvenience.”

Customer: *growing more irate by the word* “Well, you know WHAT?! I can’t believe this s***! I am a regular customer who spends a good amount of money here and am here multiple times a week.”

Me: “Again, I apologize, sir. I would love to have something made for you, but all the grills are shut off and it would take quite a while for them to heat back up. I don’t make the rules; I abide by them.”

Customer: “Yeah? Well some of us don’t have a f****** wife or girlfriend at home to cook dinner for us and we work late! I was just in there the other day and I left the waitress a very good tip, and I didn’t have to do that!”

(Mind you I was the SERVER he referenced, and indeed he is a regular customer. Where he went wrong was the comment about the great tip he left, and the onslaught of curse words.)

Me: *firmly but politely* “Well, sir, again I am very sorry for the inconvenience regarding this evening. But may I add that I was the server that you tipped the other night and while yes, I appreciate your tip, 10 percent is hardly a ‘very good tip.’ Oh, and another thing, with a piss-poor mouth like that no wonder you can’t find a lady to want to stay home and cook for you when you get home. Now I have to go. You’ve wasted a sufficient amount of my time.” *click*

(He came in later that week and apologized to me.)

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Won’t Miss This Misogynist

| BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bigotry

(The customer calls in because he has no signal on his TV. After verifying simple things, such as ‘is the cable box turned on,’ the customer randomly turns nasty.)

Me: “Okay, sir, can you just press input on your remote for me?”

Caller: “I’M NOT A DUMMY!”

Me: “Nobody assumed that, sir. I just need you to press input so we can get to video.”

Caller: “NO, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TOO?! THIS IS A JOKE! WHAT DO I DO?”

Me: “Sir, press input and then we sel—”

Caller: “NO! F*** YOU! YOU PUT ME ON TO A MAN RIGHT NOW, YOU LITTLE S**T!”

Me: “I can’t transfer you back to the queue and that’s exceptionally sexist.”

Caller: “WELL, I AM F****** SEXIST! NOW PUT ME ONTO A MAN, YOU DIRTY S**T.  I’M NO F****** DUMMY!”

Me: “Your wife must be a very lucky woman and I don’t have to take this abuse; I am terminating this call.”

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He’ll Get It Slower Than A Speeding Bullet

| SC, USA | Bigotry

(I am working the firearm counter at a well known sporting goods store. It is early in the morning, so I’m cleaning the cases when a man approaches.)

Man: “Hey, honey. You got anyone working at these here guns?”

(I assume he thinks I’m maintenance since I’m cleaning.)

Me: “Yes, sir, I am. What can I help with today?”

Man: *guffaw* “No, honey. I need someone who can sell me one’a these here guns.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am certified to do that. What were you interested in?”

Man: *looks visibly uncomfortable* “You ain’t got nobody else here?”

Me: “No. We usually only have the one person in the morning. Can I help you with something?”

Man: “I need a .22.”

Me: “We have several in stock of different manufacturers.”

Man: “I’m looking for a .22, honey. It’s a rifle.”

Me: *becoming annoyed* “Yes, I know. Which manufacturer or model are you interested in?”

Man: “I’ll just come back by when y’all got someone working who knows what I’m lookin’ fer.”

Me: “Sir, none of our employees are telepathic. If you don’t know what you want, chances are that we won’t either!”

Lost In Stupid Translation

| RTX, USA | Bigotry, Language & Words

(My husband and I have been fighting for the past few days, so when I come in for my shift, I’m not in the best of moods. There is a customer there, that is known for being difficult, harassing my coworker who is Hispanic and has a slight accent, but speaks perfect English.)

Customer: *speaking loud and slow* “I said I want to use my coupon for 10% off this item.”

Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, but I need to see the coupon. It has a code I need to type in.”

Customer: *still doing the loud and slow bit* “Coupon! Do you know what that is? Habla English?” *turns to her husband* “I have no idea why they even hire these illegals.”

Coworker: *angry and in tears* “I cannot give you the 10% without a coupon.”

Me: *doing the slow and loud bit to the customer* “She said you need the coupon here.” *makes a hand gesture of pointing to my hand* “She can’t do magic and make up a code that is on the piece of paper you call a coupon. Do you understand?”

Customer: *angrily* “Why are you talking to me like that? Yes, I understand.”

Me: “Are you sure? I was worried you didn’t understand what with talking the way you were.”

Customer: “I can’t understand her f****** language! She needs to learn to speak like us.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t speak stupid here. It’s hard enough dealing with it.” *mimicking coworker while handing them their bags* “Thank you and have a nice day.”

(I expected to get written up, but the customer’s husband was laughing so hard she stalked out and left him there.)

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An Inuidiot

| Anchorage, AK, USA | Bigotry

(I help man several booths in downtown Anchorage during the summer that sell various jewelry, wood carvings, and ulu knives, all handmade by native Alaskans. Today I’m with one of the jewelry makers who is explaining the history behind each stone she uses while demonstrating how she crafts each piece.)

Customer: “So all of this is made by you? Made by a native Alaskan?”

Jewelry Lady: “Yep, every one.”

Customer: “So you’re, like, an actual Eskimo?”

Jewelry Lady: *laughs* “I’m Inupiat actually but otherwise yes, I’m as native as you can get around here.”

(The customer cocks his head as if confused.)

Customer: “Man, you talk really eloquently for a druggie! I mean aren’t you all supposed to be stoned out of your heads all the time?”

(I stare at the man incredulously. My jewelry lady gets a very smug smile on her face.)

Jewelry Lady: “Oh, give me time. The idea sounds better and better with every customer I get like yourself.”

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