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Category: Bigotry

This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

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Black Books Matter

| ON, Canada | Bigotry, Books & Reading

Supervisor: “[Bookstore], this is [Supervisor]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m hoping you can put a book on hold for me.”

Supervisor: “Sure! What’s the title?”

Customer:To Kill A Mockingbird. With all this Black Lives Matter crap going on, I need to teach my daughter how to be more tolerant of it and I figure this book will help.”

Supervisor: “Oh… kay. Sure. I’ll put that aside for you. Have a good day.”

(As she puts the books aside for the woman, she turns to me with her eyes wide, and relays the conversation to me.)

Supervisor: “How… is that book going to help her? I… feel like her daughter isn’t the one that needs a bit of a lesson on tolerance.”

Me: *noticing ‘Charlotte’s Web’ is also a part of this woman’s pile* “Maybe this one will teach her daughter how to be more tolerant of pigs such as her?”

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A Racist Plot Twist

, | FL, USA | Bigotry, Movies & TV

(It’s a slow day at work. My coworker and I are standing behind the counter making idle chat.)

Me: “Know what I’ve been thinking about?”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “Kids’ sports movies.”

Coworker: “Kids’ sports movies?”

Me: “Yuh huh. Specifically, the fact that they’re all exactly the same.”

Coworker: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I mean how they all have the exact same plot, the exact same characters, the exact same tone, everything.”

Coworker: *sounding unconvinced* “Hmmm…”

Me: “Think about it. You always have the exact same set of stereotypical characters: the nerd, the fat kid, the black kid who only talks in pseudo-racist jive, the girl playing on the boys’ team just to prove she can, and the guy who could be a superstar if he could just get past his piddling first-world emotional problems.”

Coworker: “You know, I think I see what you mean. Don’t forget the alcoholic coach trying to relive his glory days.”

Me: “Exactly. And our ragtag band of misfits always has to play the team of rich snobs in the championship game who taunted and defeated them at the beginning of the movie.”

Coworker: “And the coach of the rich snobs’ team was the one who humiliated our heroes’ coach way back when.”

Me: “Right. And our heroes lose their first couple of games until a pep talk from the coach inspires them, and then they destroy every successive opponent they face until the championship game, when the rich snobs are kicking their butts at halftime. Then the would-be superstar finally gets his head out of his butt and helps them turn things around in the second half and they win.”

Coworker: “And as the second half of the championship game begins, it shows a montage of our heroes evening the score set to CCR’s ‘Up Around the Bend.'”

Me: “Hah! Totally! That’s like the ultimate ‘sports-getting-your-act-in-gear’ song.”

Coworker: “You know, you’re right.”

Me: “Like I told you, dude. They’re all the same.”

Customer: “How DARE you!”

Both Of Us: “Huh?”

(A customer has just walked up to the counter and overheard the last thing I said.)

Customer: “How DARE you say that all African-Americans are the same?! You RACIST!”

Me: “What? African-Americans? No, we were talking about kids’ sports movies.”

Customer: “You said ‘They’re all the same’!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I was saying that all of those movies are the same.”

Customer: “Don’t you lie to me, you racist scum! Anyone who says ‘They’re all the same’ is talking about African-Americans!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, I promise you that’s not what we were talking about.”

Customer: “Shut up, you racist! This whole store is racist! I don’t have to put up with this racist store! This is the MOST offensive thing I’ve ever heard in my ENTIRE life and I demand compensation for this insulting racism!”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You’ll be sorry when your racist a** is out on the street!”

(She stomped off to the customer service counter to complain. Apparently she didn’t get the reaction she wanted from the store manager because she stomped out of the store all together a minute later. Also, she was white.)

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Sending Them ‘Straight’ Out

| Tampa, FL, USA | Bigotry

(I work at a restaurant that’s very busy on Saturday nights; we’re at full capacity. I have a regular couple who normally comes in for coffees and desserts, and I have a table of a same gender couple sit behind them, who is celebrating their two year anniversary. The couple hear me congratulate them.)

Gentleman: “[My Name], can you sit us somewhere else?”

Me: “Oh, I am sorry. We are at full capacity; there isn’t any where else. Is something the matter with your table?”

Gentleman: “We cannot sit here as good Christians and condone that sort of behavior. It goes against God and all he stands for.”

Me: “I apologize but I am confused. What behavior?”

(The wife, who hasn’t said anything, slams her hand on the table and very loudly says:)

Wife: “Them! Those devils!” *unattractive language followed by slur* “I demand to speak to your manager at once!”

(I quickly get my manager and am apologizing profusely to the other couple.)

Manager: “What is the problem, Mrs. [Name]?”

Wife: “How dare you call yourself a family-friendly restaurant when you allow and serve [slurs] in here. We demand a refund!”

Manager: “We allow everyone in here, and we cannot give you a refund just because you disapprove of our customers.”

Wife: “We will not be back.”

(The husband paid just enough for their coffees. Their dessert hadn’t come out yet, and my manager said I could give it the other couple on us for the outburst. They still come into the restaurant, so we lost a regular and gained another one because we stood our ground. They were really nice and when I finally left they were on their sixth anniversary, and marriage was legalized in Florida and they had picked a date!)

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A Bad-Behavior Burrito

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry

(I’m at a place where you pick out your food and have it made to order. I’ve just told the woman I want a burrito, when a man comes up behind me.)

Man: “Take my order first!”

Worker: “I’ll be with you next.”

Man: “I need to be first.” *then to me* “Stand down.”

Me: “What?”

Man: “Stand down! I’m going before you.”

(By this time the worker has the beans and rice on my burrito and passes it to the next worker, who asks me what other ingredients I want. The man totally is ignoring the first worker who is asking for his order, and instead is yelling at the worker helping me.)

Man: “Don’t listen to her! She doesn’t know what she wants! She doesn’t know her place.”

(I ignore him and proceed to the checkout, I hear him yelling at the first worker.)

Man: “You should have taken me first! You b****, don’t you understand!”

(Next thing I know the manager comes out and asks the guy to leave. He lunges across the sneeze guard at him. The other worker says they are calling the cops.)

Man: “You can’t call the cops! I am an American! I have a coupon! I have to be here! You should have taken me first. I have a coupon.”

(He goes over and starts throwing all the napkins, straws, etc. on the floor, and grabs a patron’s food off their table and flings it. We are all kind of trapped because he is blocking the door. Next he sees me and starts yelling at me.)

Man: “Had to have your precious burrito, you b****. Eat it! Choke on it! I won’t save you if you choke!”

(He grabbed the bag with my food in it and started swinging it around, I ran behind the counter where the employees were to get away, A security guard came in not moments later and forced the guy out, still raving about his coupon and saying I should choke on the burrito. Ironically, I got a coupon for a free meal from the manager who felt bad for me.)

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You Drain What’s Left Of My Brain

| Australia | Bad Behavior, Bigotry

(Today at work we are experiencing more customers than usual and are drastically understaffed. I have recently undergone brain surgery for a hemorrhage so my hair is on the short side for a girl my age. After manning our coffee machine for several hours, a particularly sassy woman approaches the counter, pushing aside several customers in the process.)

Customer: “I demand to be served immediately!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but you’ll have to wait in line like everyone else.”

Customer: “You just don’t want to serve a straight woman like myself because you’re a lesbian.”

Me: “I beg your pardon, madam, but I am not a lesbian and I’m just asking that you wait in line like everyone else.”

Customer: “But you have short hair.”

Me: “Ma’am, that doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian. In fact I’ve recently undergone brain surgery and to operate they had to cut my hair off.”

(By this point I’m incredibly frustrated as my line is growing longer every minute she carries on with her rant.)

Customer: “Oh, you’re a f**k*** liar! I just want a coffee and a straight person to serve me.”

(A man approaches the woman looking about as angry as I am.)

Customer #2: “Look here, b****, this poor girl has had an extreme surgery and as a result her hair is short. If you have any tips for her on how she should style herself then leave them in the tip jar!”

(The woman turned bright red, quickly dropped a $20 note in my tip jar, and high-tailed it out of the shop.)

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