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Category: Bad Behavior

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 19

| Dedham, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “Great, could you help me with something?”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Where do you keep your appliances?”

Me: “Third floor.”

(We were on the ground floor, where they actually are. The store only has two floors.)

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 18
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 17
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 16

Bad Customers Are Forever, Forever

| KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

(A customer is wanting to look at rings, so I take a few out of the case.)

Customer: “This ring is too big. It’s a size seven.”

Me: “We offer free ring resizing.”

Customer: “That takes a few weeks. I don’t want to wait that long. Show me that ring.”

(I take another ring out of the case.)

Me: “This one is also a size seven.”

Customer: “That’s stupid. Show me that ring.”

(I take another ring out of the case and look at the tag.)

Me: “This one is also a size seven. I believe all the ladies’ rings in our case are a size seven.”

Customer: “That’s really stupid. Why would they do that? Show me that ring.”

(I get another ring out of the case. It is also a size seven. This repeats a few more times.)

Customer: “I have a question. The box says ‘diamond simulant,’ but the tag says ‘cubic zirconia.’ So which is it?”

Me: “Diamond simulant is a generic term that refers to any diamond substitute, while cubic zirconia is the specific kind.”

Customer: “No, they’re different. They’re made differently.”

(I try to explain again.)

Customer: “No, they’re different. So which is it?”

Me: “Diamond simulant is a generic term that refers to all diamond substitutes, while cubic zirconia is the specific type.”

Customer: “Ma’am, you’re not listening to me.”

Me: “YOU’RE not listening to ME!”

Customer: “Look, I don’t want to debate this.”

(At this point, I take a deep breath. I’ve recently been written up a few times, once more and I’m fired, so I’m trying to be on my best behavior.)

Me: *putting on my biggest smile, and my over-friendly voice* “Okay…”

Customer: “You’re wrong.”

(I finish up the rest of the transaction with my fake smile and overly friendly fake voice. I have a degree in geology, and have taken a few gemstone courses. I felt like asking her where she got her degree.)

A-Salted By The Odd Request

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(After getting his coffee and some food, a customer approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Do you have any salt?”

Me: *checking to see if I heard him correctly* “Salt?”

Customer: *enunciating every syllable like I’m an idiot* “Sodium chloride, do you have it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t.”

Customer: “F***ing h***!”

(He then proceeds to ask two of my coworkers the same question, receiving the same response and swearing at them as well. Fortunately he didn’t start anything but I informed the manager we need to buy some, if only to spread it outside the door and keep him away.)

A Centless Amount Of Gas

| Murfreesboro, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money, Transportation

Me: “Welcome to [Gas Station]. What can I get for you?”

(The ‘customer’ scoops the ten cents out of the leave a penny take a penny and hand them to me.)

Customer: “I need this in gas on pump three.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you need at least 86 cents in order to purchase gas.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I just need this in gas.” *tries to hand me the ten cents again*

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t put that low of an amount on the pump. It won’t let me.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, can I bum a dollar?”

(My coworker gave him a dollar, so he got $1.10 in gas.)

Putting Common Sense Back On The Menu

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular

(My brother and I rarely get to hang out outside of work due to our schedules, so when we do, we try to make it a treat. He works the line at our pizza place and I’m a counter girl. We order from another pizza joint, having had more than enough from ours.)

Counter Girl: “Thanks for calling [Pizza Shop]. This is [Counter Girl]. What can I do for you today?”

Me: “Hi, I’d like to order a 12-inch meatball sub.”

Counter Girl: “I’m very sorry, but we don’t offer the 12-inch subs anymore. We have 8-inch and 15.”

Me: *to my brother* “They don’t have that anymore; do you want something else?” *to her* “No problem, I’ll just place the rest of the order while we figure that out.”

(I place the rest of the order while he figures out that he wants a different sub and I add that too. But meanwhile, while I’m still on the phone:)

Brother: “This is ridiculous; that was their best seller. Tell her that they need to update their website’s online menu. This is just bull-s***. I can’t believe I can’t get my sub.”

(I finish the order, relaying none of that at all.)

Brother: “You should’ve told her off. I just wanted my sandwich; she was probably too stupid to put it in properly. And update the d*** menu! If I would’ve know, we would’ve ordered somewhere else.”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure that the 18-year-old girl I spoke to made the menu changes herself. The audacity. Don’t be the kind of customer that I hate.”

(We got our order promptly and my a** of a brother actually liked what he got better than the meatball sub!)

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