Category: Bad Behavior


Assault And Battery For The Salt And Battery

| OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I am working the register. The day has been smooth so far, and I’ve even managed to tell a few jokes to liven up a customer’s day. A middle-aged man comes into the store, buying a packet of salt, and some batteries.)

Me: *joking* “I guess I’ll have to charge you for assault and battery, now do I?”

Man: *irate* “YOU F****** D******! I’M SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE JOKE, NOT YOU! I’M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN!” *throws salt at my chest and storms out*

Customer: Holy s***! Did someone put salt in his coffee today?


Being Nice Is Free

| Jeffersonville, IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I’m unfortunately with the person who is causing this scene. The fast food place is closed on the inside due to a leak of some sort in the lobby, so only the drive-thru is open. It’s the busy time of day and the line is very long but I have no problem waiting. I’m in the car with my step-dad, who is one of those entitled people, and regardless of where he goes thinks he deserves something free. When we finally get up to the window, he starts shouting at the poor lady.)

Step-Dad: “I should get something for free for you making me wait so long. What are you going to give me for free? Give me a Diet [Soda]. I’ll take that for no charge since you made me wait so long.”

Employee: “You know, sir, I have no problem with that at all if you could just ask nicely instead of saying that you ‘should’ get something for free. I apologize for the wait; our lobby is closed, we are doing the best we can, and we are also currently understaffed.”

Step-Dad: “I don’t care! You made me wait! So I SHOULD get something for free, and it’s not my problem you are understaffed; hire more people!”

Employee: “Again I apologize. I will get you a drink for no charge, but if you were nicer with the way you treat people, it would go a lot further for you.”

(I really was hoping she would give him nothing, and just dump the soda on him because he didn’t deserve it and I could tell she was already stressed out, I assume, from people all day yelling just about the same thing. I called and asked to speak with her as soon as I got home and apologized to her for his behavior and that she did nothing to deserve that. She was very sweet and said the two cars ahead of us had been the same way, and many other people throughout the day. The car ahead of us had even thrown something at her. I told her to keep up the excellent work they were doing and try to stay positive, and that I thought she should have just thrown the soda at him, so we had a good laugh about that. I wish I could have offered her more than an apology for him, but it was the best I could do. I just hope it somehow helped to keep her day from being ruined by him, and other people like him, because she, or anyone in her position, doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.)


Your Joke Is A Complete Turkey

, | OK, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(Two customers come in looking for something quick so they don’t miss their flight.)

Customer: “How about a turkey sandwich?”

Me: “Sure, that’ll be super quick.”

Customer: “And could you add bacon to it?”

Me: “Well, I could, but that would take a while. We make all our food fresh.”

Customer: *being a smart-a*** “Oh, really? So you’ve got a live turkey back there?”

Me: *just smiles but slowly dying on the inside*


You’re Down For His Count

| DE, USA | Bad Behavior

(Our store has a little monitor over the door which “counts” how many people walk in. One of the metrics I am judged on as a manager is turnover. So, for example, if 10 people are counted walking in the store and I have ten transactions, I have 100% turnover. Our turnover rate has to stay above 30%. I notice a husband pacing under the customer counter. Each time he moves back and forth, it blinks showing it counted another person. I decide to try to politely get him to move.)

Me: “Good morning, sir! I see you’re waiting patiently. We have couches towards the back, if you want to relax while your wife shops.”

Man: “Relax! Humph!”

(He continues pacing. I try a minute later.)

Me: “I just wanted you to know I have fresh coffee in the lounge, or bottled water if you don’t need the caffeine.”

Man: “I’m not thirsty.”

Me: “That’s okay. I have today’s newspapers and a few good magazines back there as well.”

Man: “Are you trying to trick me into going into the lounge? What, are you going to trick me into paying for that newspaper?”

Me: “Not at all! I just thought you would be more comfortable back there, and we prefer that our guests not stand close to the door.”

Man: “Listen, little miss! I don’t care what you prefer!”

(I decide to leave him alone. A bit later he waves me over. He has noticed the blinking light and asks what it is.)

Me: “That actually counts the number of people who come in the store. It’s part of the reason we try to keep our guests from being too close to the door. I was working with your wife and she said that you’re an accountant, so I know you understand how important it is to have correct numbers…”

(The man grunts and starts pacing faster, a slow sprint back and forth, grinning at the light. I give up. For the hour and a half time that he is there, we show as having a whopping 950 guests, but only 10 transactions, as it is a slow morning. For the month this means that we have to cut hours, cancel the monthly pizza party, and all full-time employees have any bonuses withheld. A few months later, they return.)

Man: *smiling* “Do you have the paper showing my number of paces from the previous trip? I wants to break my ‘record.’”

(I decided to level with him and told him that, although his pacing seemed innocent, it had severely penalized my employees, and begged him not to pace at the entrance again. Red-faced, he ordered his wife out of the store and barked that they won’t be coming back if I won’t let him have “fun.” Frankly, I was glad.)


Likes To Toy With Other People’s Purchases

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(My family is having a garage sale. I’m in my early teens, and I’ve decided to part with a collection of plastic horses. A very old woman hobbles around, looking at all of the toys, before stopping in front of my horses.)

Old Woman: “Oh, these are perfect! I’ve been looking for something for my granddaughter’s birthday, and I know she would love these! She’s always loved horses.”

Me: “I’m sure she will! How old is your granddaughter?”

(She and I chat for a little bit, and I like this grandmother more and more with everything she says. She’s clearly very sincere about wanting something special for her granddaughter. When she asks the price for the collection, I decide to sell them for less than I’d planned.)

Old Woman: “Thank you so much! I just need to run to my car to get my purse.”

(I wait by the horses while she hobbles back to her car. While she’s looking for her purse, a younger woman pulls up to the house, jumps out of her car, and starts snatching up armfuls of anything that looks like it’s in good condition. She comes up to the toy table and reaches for my horses.)

Me: “Oh, sorry, but someone already claimed these.”

Young Woman: “Well, I’m going to buy them.”

Me: “I’m selling them to that woman over there. She’s just getting her purse.”

(The woman looks around and sees the old woman coming back. She lowers her voice and acts all sneaky about it.)

Young Woman: “She hasn’t paid for them yet, so they’re still up for grabs! Quick! Give them to me!”

Me: “No. These are mine to sell and I’m giving them to her. Sorry. My sister has some other toys over there you can look at.”

Young Woman: *catching a glimpse of something she likes at my sister’s table* “Ugh. Fine. Your loss.” *she leaves and begins snatching up more things seemingly at random*

(I might not have made as much money as I could have, but seeing the older woman so happy with her gift for her granddaughter makes me smile even now years later.)

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