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Category: Bad Behavior

How Do You Like Dem Cherry Pies?

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(It’s midnight at the 24-hour-fast food place. A woman and her husband order via the drive thru, apparently unaware I can hear everything they say. I’ve also just cut more than eight inches off my hair, streaked my hair blue, and begun wearing contacts two days prior and not even my coworkers recognized me when I clocked in.)

Customer: “There’s no one here! We should come this late more often!”

Man: “I want cherry pies and last time the dumb b**** at the counter told me they were discontinued.”

Customer: “Well, I’ll just ask for some, then.” *into the speaker* “We want two cherry pies with the order.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the cherry pies have been discontinued.”

Man: “GOD-D*** IT!”

(They pull around to my window to pay. The woman just grins at me.)

Customer: “Well, you know what they say about husbands! I can’t believe how empty it is right now. I’ve never been here past six or so before.”

Me: “Ha, yeah, it’s pretty dead around this time. Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Honestly, I don’t understand why you got rid of those pies. They were the best thing here.”

Me: *cheerfully* “They actually didn’t sell very well. We were throwing away more than we were selling, so corporate pulled them. Would you like to try our new strawberry pie? It’s pretty good.”

(Immediately, the woman stops smiling and scowls at me.)

Customer: “That attitude is exactly why I hate coming here. You know, I remember you from last time I was here and you had a nasty attitude then, too. This is why teenagers should learn some respect for their elders! Now give me my change. I want to recount it and make sure you didn’t pocket any of it.”

Me: “Well, first off, you can’t have remembered me since you said twice that it’s your first time here past dinner time and I only work third shift. Meaning I don’t come in until ten pm.”

Customer: “Well—”

Me: “Second: I’m twenty-two and have been nothing but polite to you this entire time even after I heard your husband call one of my coworkers a dumb b**** for no reason.”

Customer: “I—”

Me: “And finally, your total was [total], meaning your change is $2.37. One dollar, two dollars, twenty five, thirty five, six, and seven. Here you go, have a nice night, and try to remember to respect the people who handle your food.” *slams window shut*

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 19

| Dedham, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “Great, could you help me with something?”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Where do you keep your appliances?”

Me: “Third floor.”

(We were on the ground floor, where they actually are. The store only has two floors.)

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 18
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 17
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 16

Bad Customers Are Forever, Forever

| KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

(A customer is wanting to look at rings, so I take a few out of the case.)

Customer: “This ring is too big. It’s a size seven.”

Me: “We offer free ring resizing.”

Customer: “That takes a few weeks. I don’t want to wait that long. Show me that ring.”

(I take another ring out of the case.)

Me: “This one is also a size seven.”

Customer: “That’s stupid. Show me that ring.”

(I take another ring out of the case and look at the tag.)

Me: “This one is also a size seven. I believe all the ladies’ rings in our case are a size seven.”

Customer: “That’s really stupid. Why would they do that? Show me that ring.”

(I get another ring out of the case. It is also a size seven. This repeats a few more times.)

Customer: “I have a question. The box says ‘diamond simulant,’ but the tag says ‘cubic zirconia.’ So which is it?”

Me: “Diamond simulant is a generic term that refers to any diamond substitute, while cubic zirconia is the specific kind.”

Customer: “No, they’re different. They’re made differently.”

(I try to explain again.)

Customer: “No, they’re different. So which is it?”

Me: “Diamond simulant is a generic term that refers to all diamond substitutes, while cubic zirconia is the specific type.”

Customer: “Ma’am, you’re not listening to me.”

Me: “YOU’RE not listening to ME!”

Customer: “Look, I don’t want to debate this.”

(At this point, I take a deep breath. I’ve recently been written up a few times, once more and I’m fired, so I’m trying to be on my best behavior.)

Me: *putting on my biggest smile, and my over-friendly voice* “Okay…”

Customer: “You’re wrong.”

(I finish up the rest of the transaction with my fake smile and overly friendly fake voice. I have a degree in geology, and have taken a few gemstone courses. I felt like asking her where she got her degree.)