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Category: Bad Behavior

Some Callers You Just Can’t Hold On To

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(I work for a well-known tech company, and take calls for its many products. The company also offers email to its customers, but this is not something we’re trained to help with. The following happened with a coworker and our supervisor.)

Customer: “I logged into my email on the library computer, and it WON’T LET ME REMOVE MY ACCOUNT. Let me talk to a supervisor!”

Agent: “Okay, well, I’d be happy to help with that. I support [Other Product], but removing your account from the computer should be easy enough.”

Customer: “NO. I want a supervisor. Transfer me NOW. And no hold music. I hate your hold music. No putting me on hold. I need to logout of this computer before someone steals my personal information.”

Agent: “I do want to let you know that if I transfer to my supervisor, it will put you on a hold. I’ll do it as quickly as possible, and at most, you’ll get a few seconds. He’s right there and ready for the call.”

Customer: “NO! No hold!”

(By this time, the supervisor has been informed by my coworker what’s going on, and is trying to get her to transfer it over.)

Supervisor: *walks over to my coworker and mutes the call so the customer can’t hear* “He won’t transfer?”

Agent: “Nope. He refuses to listen to hold music.”

Supervisor: *leans over and types his extension into the phone and runs back to answer the call at his desk, while my coworker and I stare at each other with bewildered looks* “Hi, I hear you’re unable to logout of your account on the public computer?”

(The call goes on, and he gets up and comes over to us a few minutes later.)

Me: “So, what happened?”

Supervisor: “The guy was talking to me IN the library, yelling and raging as someone shushed him in the background. I just heard him getting kicked out of the library, and fighting with the librarian about needing to finish his call. Then he hung up.”

Me: “All this because he doesn’t know how to clear his browser history. Classy guy.”

This Conversation Has A Beautiful Final Destination

| UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

Customer: “I’d like to go to [Destination #1] today, then on to [Destination #2] tonight, then back here tomorrow.”

(I know that in order to get from Destination #1 to Destination #2, the customer will have to come back through here, so I sell her a here-to-Destination #1 return and a here-to-Destination #2 return.)

Customer: “Excuse me; this isn’t what I asked for!”

Me: “Sure it is, that will get you to [Destination #1] today, [Destination #2] tonight, and back to here tomorrow.”

Customer: “No! I wanted a single to [Destination #1] and then a [Destination #1] to [Destination #2] return! This is disgraceful customer service. You are useless at your job. You ought to be f***ing fired because you can’t even listen to what people want! You need re-training so you learn not to sell the wrong tickets and waste honest people’s money! How much have you overcharged me, so I can let your manager know how you’ve f***ing stolen from me!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I’ve saved you £26.”

(The customer was left gaping while every other customer in the queue who’d heard every word started laughing at her. It was the most beautiful moment in my working life so far.)

Allergic To Payback

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(After a customer is hospitalized due to a miscommunication about their allergies, my manager changes store policy so that we aren’t allowed to serve anyone anything if they say they are allergic to components. Since bratty customers often claim allergy, this has had many hilarious results, my favorite being a customer who usually makes us remake her order three or four times because she’s allergic to this or that.)

Customer: “I’ll have a meatball sub, no onion. I’m allergic to onion.”

Me: “The meatballs have onion in them. What else can I get you?”

Customer: “The meatballs only have a little; it’s fine.”

Me: “You have informed me you have an onion allergy. I cannot serve you any products containing onion.”

Customer: *huffs* “Fine, I’ll have the chicken sub!”

Me: “Ma’am, last week you made me remake your food because of a tomato allergy. I cannot serve you any product with tomato.”

Customer: “Yes, you can! I get them all the time.”

Me: “Store policy has changed. I cannot serve any customer any food that may have been contaminated with anything they label as an allergen.”

Customer: “Fine, I was lying. Give me my sub.”

Me: “As you have given me conflicting information I must err on the side of caution. I cannot serve you tomato, onion, wheat, gluten, dairy, eggs-”

Customer: “WHAT! I never said I was allergic to that stuff:”

Me: “Ma’am, whenever you have us remake food we must enter the reason in the register. And all your credit card purchases are saved in the system. Should we look up your purchases?”

Customer: “Get me your manager!”

(I run in back and tell him what’s going on. He gets an evil look on his face.)

Manager: “Hello, ma’am, I understand you’re confused about our new store policy?”

Customer: “Your employee here refuses to make me food even though I told her I am not allergic!”

Manager: “So you aren’t allergic to onions or tomatoes or wheat?”

Customer: “No, I am not.”

Manager: “Ma’am, you just admitted to lying about allergies. So you can either pay for every sandwich you’ve ever had us remake, or get out.”

Customer: *runs out of the store*