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Category: Bad Behavior

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Thief Should Have Wised Up And Smelled The Coffee

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(I customer walks in, and we both exchange our hellos. A few minutes later I see the guy quickly look at me from my peripheral vision. Thinking it is kind of odd, I slowly tip-toe towards him and see him walk the opposite way around my counter, holding something below the counter’s height so I can’t see it. I start to walk backwards as he is quickly making his way to the doors, and then the alarm goes on. This guy is holding a big a** Tassimo coffee maker. Here’s how you know he isn’t a good thief, because he stops to have a conversation with me.)

Thief: “Hey, so where’s the uh… the um… the coffee or whatever that goes with this.”

Me: “Put the Tassimo on my counter and I’ll show you.”

(He reluctantly puts it down, and I bring him to the coffee that is right above the Tassimo maker he is trying to take.)

Thief: “Oh, right, that’s cool.”

(He grabs a handful of random ones and we walk over to my counter. He puts the coffee on the Tassimo machine box. He is patting his coat pockets pretending to feel around for his wallet.)

Thief: “Hmm, well, I forgot my wallet. I’ll be right back.”

Me: *I smile* “No you won’t,”

Thief: *looks at me, saddened* “You’re right.”

(He did end up coming back a few weeks later trying to steal a lamp but luckily I was working and he ended up with nothing.)

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Putting The Selfish Into Selfie

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Time

(I make the mistake of visiting a very popular coffee shop at a busy time. After more than 10 minutes I am second in the queue behind a teenage girl already holding a coffee from another shop, and there are at least 15 more customers waiting behind me.)

Customer: *stares blankly at the barista*

Barista: “What can I get you?”

Customer: “Oh! I don’t know… Give me a second.” *pause* “Can I get, like, a muffin?”

Barista: *clearly already very stressed by the amount of people waiting* “We have banana, chocolate chip, blueberry, pumpkin, and lemon. Which one?”

Customer: “Oh, uh… I don’t know. Blueberry?”

Barista: *swiftly gets muffin out of case and puts it on the counter, trying to speed up the transaction* “Is that everything for you today?”

Customer: “Uh, hang on.”

(She then proceeds to grab the muffin, take out her phone, and TAKE A SELFIE with her pastry. Still not finished, she logs on to social media, filters and captions the photo, and finally posts it before turning back to the now shaking-with-rage barista.)

Customer: “Okay. Can I get, like, a [very complicated dessert drink with numerous substitutions]?”

Barista: *eyes twitching* “[Total].”

(Back on her phone, she takes her time finding her money before flouncing off after her friends.)

Me: *to Barista* “I am so sorry you had to put up with that. And I’m sorry that I didn’t slap her. Just one medium coffee for me, please, and keep the change.”

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Taking Out The Trashy Customers

| LA, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Popular

(We have a policy on our non-perishable items that if they’ve been marked down a few times, the next time we charge only a penny for them, just to get rid of them. One of our regular customers has the annoying habit of knowing the markdown schedule and taking items she suspects are going to be a penny and hiding them throughout the store in odd places, so she can come back and retrieve them to pay only one cent. I’ve found many of these and returned them to the shelves, where they were promptly purchased by others. She’s previously yelled at me when her stashed items were gone. The next time the penny-pinching regular shows up:)

Customer: “What happened to the green vase?”

Me: “Which one is that?”

Customer: “The one that was so marked down. I wanted it.”

Me: *knowing I’d found it in her hidey hole and it had been sold* “Oh, that one. We threw it in the dumpster. It had been marked down and no one seemed to want it.”

Customer: “What? You just threw it in the dumpster?”

Me: “Yeah, but I don’t think they’d care if you wanted to peek in there and see if it’s on top.”

Customer: “Okay, then!”

Coworker: “What was that all about?”

Me: “I just sent her to dig to the bottom of the stinkiest garbage ever, for something that doesn’t exist.”

Coworker: “Good.”