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Category: Bad Behavior

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Her Bark Is Worse Than Her Dog’s Bite

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I work in a coffee shop, and it is against the rules to bring pets into the store. A young woman comes inside, yelling into a phone. A two-year-old child is with her. A few minutes later she brings her dog inside, too.)

Customer: *yelling into phone* “I don’t f****** care! Get me a f****** ride!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, you need to take your dog outside.”

Customer: “F*** off, I’ll take him outside soon.”

(The customer then proceeds to continue yelling into the phone.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, you need to take your dog outside right now.”

Customer: “I said f*** off; I’ll take him outside in a second!”

(The customer proceeds to scream into the phone, looking back at my coworker every couple of seconds to scream at her, too.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, if you refuse to speak to me politely and don’t take your dog outside, we will call the pol—”

Customer: “CALL THE F****** POLICE, THEN!”

(We call the police, who find her camped out in our drive-thru, still screaming into her phone. The last we see of her, she’s being taken away by the cops, with her child in a separate cruiser.)

Me: “Do you want to know the scariest part of all that?”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “During the entirety of that whole exchange, that kid didn’t bat an eye. Didn’t cry or anything.”

Coworker: “That is terrifying.”

(You can tell that child was used to her mother’s tantrums.)

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Wish It Was More Than Just The Bottle To Go

, | San Francisco, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

Customer: “This chardonnay is very good.”

Me: “I’m glad you like it.”

Customer: “I really do.”

Me: “Well, we do a little promotion here. If you order a glass at the bar then get a bottle to go, we’ll give you 10% off on the bottle.”

Customer: “How much is it?”

Me: “That particular wine is $20 a bottle.”

Customer: “Great, I’ll get a bottle.”

(I get a bottle and bag it for him.)

Customer: “Can you open it? I’d like to have a glass here.”

(This promotion is only for to-go bottles, furthermore, if you buy a bottle to drink at the bar that is under $30 there is a corkage fee. I realize the man has misunderstood me, but I decide it is an opportunity to do something nice and open the bottle at the to-go price as he says he only wants a glass. The customer then proceeds to pull a pretzel out of his bag and eat it at the bar although we do not allow outside food. He makes a mess all over the bar and proceeds to stay long enough to drink almost the entire bottle of chardonnay.)

Customer: “Excuse me, may I have my check, please?”

Me: “Sure, here you are.”

Customer: “This isn’t right. You said if I bought a bottle, the glass would be free.”

Me: “No, I said if you bought a bottle TO-GO your bottle would be 10% off. You bought a bottle and drank it here and I still gave you the discount. I also did not charge you the corkage fee that we customarily charge so you are really getting quite a deal.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(The customer pays and leaves and does not tip. I think that I have seen the last of him but he comes in the next week when my boss is working and proceeds to try the same thing with her, saying that last week I had given him his glass FOR FREE when he bought a bottle. I had, of course, told her the whole story and she was able to reply that I had not and that has never been our policy. A week after that, he comes back again. When he goes to pull out his customary pretzel, my boss decides she has had enough.)

Owner: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t actually allow outside food here.”

Customer: “What? But you don’t have any food here!”

Owner: “Actually, we do. It’s on that section of your menu there.”

Customer: “Oh. But do you have soft pretzels?”

Owner: “No, we don’t.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I will not be back.”

Owner: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Customer: “I mean it.”

Owner: “All right.”

Customer: “I WON’T be back.”

Owner: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Customer: “Hmmph.”

(He has never been back to demand free wine or soft pretzels again.)

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Can’t Handle A Car But Can Handle A Conversation

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular

(I am an apparently able-bodied person who suffers from an invisible disability which renders me medically unable to operate a motor vehicle. The following conversation takes place today at my job.)

Customer: “How does this car handle?”

Me: “Couldn’t say, sir. I don’t drive.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you don’t drive?”

Me: “Just that, sir. I’ve never driven an automobile. Consequently, I’m unable to tell you how that car handles. Sorry.”

Customer: “Well, then, what the h*** are you working here for? You sure picked a stupid place to get a job!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but disabled people have to earn a living, too. Will there be anything else?”

Customer: *embarrassed, blushing and refusing to make eye contact* “Uh, um, ahhhh. I, uh, I didn’t know.”

Me: *flat rattlesnake eyes and coldly monotone voice* “No, sir. You didn’t. Good day.”

(The word ‘slink’ is so seldom used these days and even more seldom seen in action…)

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When Problem Number Two Is Problem Number One

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I’m at work at an Internet tech support call center when our team leader speaks up.)

Team Leader: “I’m just going to be in the lunch room for the next bit if you guys need me.”

Coworker #1: “Believe me, you don’t want me to need you on this call.”

Coworker #2: “What’s happening? My customer is playing a ukulele for me!”

Coworker #1: “My caller just told me he’s taking a dump.”

Coworker #2: “Oh, my god! Why would you even share that?!”

Coworker #1: “I have no idea.”

(A couple of minutes later, I hear him speak again.)

Coworker #1: *on phone* “If you’re finished in the bathroom then, can we check and see if your Internet is back up yet?”

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Cannot Register The Rules Of The Registry

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(A woman comes up to the guest service counter and asks if I can take an item she wants to purchase off a gift registry. I tell her that shouldn’t be a problem and begin the transaction, but notice that the vacuum she is purchasing isn’t the one listed on the registry.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this isn’t the right vacuum.”

Guest: “Oh, I know. But the one on the registry is a piece of crap, so I’m buying her this one instead.”

Me: “Ah, I see. Well, I can give you a gift receipt, but since it’s not the same one, I can’t take it off the registry.”

(The guest is already becoming visibly irritated.)

Guest: “Well, why not? I said I’m getting her this one so she won’t need that piece of crap. The one she wanted is a piece of crap and this one’s better!”

Me: “That may be, but since this is not your registry, it’s not your decision. I cannot take an item off of someone else’s registry just because you think they shouldn’t be asking for it. I’ll get you a gift receipt and she can make her own decision about which one she wants to keep, but that’s all I can do for you.”

(She stood there for several more seconds, clearly not understanding why I couldn’t just delete items from someone else’s registry, but eventually paid for the vacuum, snatched the gift receipt out of my hand, and stormed off, bitching to her husband the whole time.)

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