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Category: Bad Behavior

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Gun Control Out Of Control, Part 2

| IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Money, Popular, Wild & Unruly

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cable Company]! My name is [My Name]. How can I help—”

Customer: “Now listen here, f*****! I keep getting these calls saying I’m past due on my bill! I pay my bill ON TIME, EVERY MONTH! What the h*** is the meaning of this?”

(The customer continues on in this fashion for about fifteen minutes, swearing at me and calling me names. I finally managed to get his account pulled up, and wouldn’t you know it, he indeed has a past due balance. He has actually been about a month behind on his bill for most of the year. I proceed to explain the situation to him, going a year back and explaining each bill to him.)

Me: “Sir, I understand your frustration, but the fact of the matter is, you’ve been behind a month on your bill for the past year. You’ve been turned off twice in that time. This is why you continually get those automated calls. If you’d like, I can set you up on a payment plan to get you caught back up.”

Customer: “Why? So you and your communist company can swindle me out of more money? You can go right to h***, and if I get one more call about my so-called ‘past due’ balance, I’ll send you there myself! I have a gun, and it’s looking a bit bored, if you get my meaning.”

Me: *becoming angry* “Okay, sir, you have now crossed a very serious line. Are you aware that making death threats is a serious crime?”

Customer: “It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. I will hunt you down, mother-f*****!”

Me: “See, now, I don’t think that’s going to be possible. For one thing, you haven’t the slightest idea where I am. I could be five miles away from you, or clear across the country. So, best of luck finding me. Second, this call is being recorded, as I’m sure you’re well aware, so our entire conversation would stand as evidence in a court of law. Third, in keeping with your ignorance of my whereabouts, you know nothing about me except my first name and where I work. I, however, have your full name, address, telephone number, social security number, and a whole myriad of other information that would prove quite useful to the police, should I choose to file a police report. And believe me, I intend to. Now, would you like to rethink your threats, or do you want to carry on with your plan to gun me down?”

Customer: “…’m sorry.”

Me: “Thank you. Now, these calls will continue until your past due balance is paid. I recommend paying the whole balance in full and getting your account current so we don’t have to have this conversation again.”

(The rest of the call was him mumbling sheepishly and me happily closing the call. Never heard back from him, strangely enough!)

Related:
Gun Control Out Of Control

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Protect From Rain But Not From Thieves

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(After a recent renovation, the break room where staff leaves their belongings in the store I manage is visible to customers shopping. I’ve been pushing to have a door put up, but my district manager told me it’s unnecessary. She is visiting one day, during a huge rain shower.)

Customer: *gesturing towards the break room* “How much for that umbrella?”

Me: “Oh, that’s my district manager’s. I’m afraid we don’t sell umbrellas, but the store next door does.”

Customer: “But I don’t want one from there. I want THAT one. How much?”

Me: “I’m afraid it’s not for sale. She just left it open to dry. But the neighboring store’s umbrellas will keep you just as dry.”

Customer: “Oh, sweetie, I’m not worrying about being dry. I got an umbrella in my purse. But that one’s way prettier. How much?”

Me: “Like I said, my manager needs it to stay dry. It’s not for sale.”

(The customer harrumphed, and went on shopping. Later, the district manager noticed her umbrella was missing. Reviewing the security footage, we saw the customer sneak back and steal the umbrella. A week later, a door was installed in front of the break room.)

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Needs A Bigger Cue To Queue

| Berkshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

(I am in the stockroom collecting a customer’s parcel. As I go to leave, a coworker lets me know that in my absence two queues have formed at the till and the order in which they queued.)

Me: *towards the gentleman who had been queuing longest* “Hello, how can I help?”

(The woman who had started the second queue glares at me angrily and starts to speak angrily and sarcastically.)

Female Customer: “Excuse me, but it would be nice if you could tell me where exactly we’re supposed to queue!”

Me: “Where the gentleman was queuing.”

Female Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I thought the fluorescent yellow arrowed tape on the floor was enough of a clue.”

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Psy-Chologically Damaging

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

Me: “Hello, sir. Good afternoon.”

Customer: “Hello, there.”

Me: “Are you checking in with us today?

Customer: “Are you Chinese?”

Me: “Umm, no. I am Korean.”

Customer: “Oh, perfect, how do you spell ‘Gangnam Style’? I can’t seem to find it on YouTube.”

Me: *blank stare*

(Reluctantly I had to spell it out for him.)

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Not Very Closed Minded, Part 16

| East Lansing, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Time

(The grocery store I work for has just closed its doors for good, and I am helping a small handful of my employees pack up items and clean up. For the past month and a half, there have been signs posted all over the store, at eye level, telling shoppers that the store would be closing. Most of the shelves are completely bare once the store is finally closed, and the front doors are shut off and closed, but not locked as we did need a way to get in and out of the building. My managers are out doing the final bank run, when a gentleman pushes past the doors, grabs a cart and proceeds to walk aimlessly around the store, weaving around large piles of boxes and empty displays. Everyone notices and proceeds to stop and stare at the man, without approaching him or notifying him that the store is closed. I finally decide to step up to him.)

Me: “Um… sir? I’m sorry, but the store closed on [Date].”

Customer: “Really? I don’t see any signs! I just want to do a bit of shopping.”

Me: “Yes, we have signs posted every five feet, at eye level, and as you can see, most of our shelves are completely bare. Not only that, none of our registers are on, nor do we have money to give you change if you decided to pay cash for whatever groceries you do happen to find.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I was wondering why your store was so bare. Would you mind if I take a look around anyway?”

Me: “The store is closed, sir. Of course I mind. There’s nothing here for you to see except a bunch of empty shelves, and even if you did find something, you can’t buy it, nor can you take it with you! Please leave!”

Customer: “Fine. You didn’t have to be so rude! Now I know why this place is closing!”

Me: “It’s closed already, sir. Have a good day.”

(The gentleman left his cart in the middle of the store and walked out. Everyone was left scratching their head by the end of that ordeal.)

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 15
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 14
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 13

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