Category: Bad Behavior

You’re My Hero-in

, | CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(I used to do overnight cell phone tech support for a major provider. As I worked on the prepaid side, we tended to get weird or unreasonable customers on a consistent basis, especially late at night. The customer I’ve been working with in this story, however, has been completely calm and reasonable throughout our call. Also note that I have only heard him during the entire call, nobody else.)

Me: “Well, if there’s nothing else I can do to assist you tonight I just want to thank you for being the best part of [Company]. Again, my name is [My Name] and I hope you have a great rest of your night!”

Customer: “Thanks, you too! Good night.”

(At this point the line goes quiet but is still connected. Assuming he either thinks he hung up or is waiting for me to do so, I reach for the release button.)


(I jump, but realize that he’s not talking to me. For the first time I hear someone muttering to him in the background.)

Customer: “Why the f*** did you think it was a good idea to say ‘heroin’ while I was on a call? What the f*** are you going to do if I go back to jail, huh?!”

(At that point I released the call, hoping the customer didn’t realize we were still connected and the only person I heard talking about illegal narcotics was him.)

A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 3

, | Pensacola, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular

(At 30 minutes until close, a customer calls in to order a pepperoni, bacon, and extra cheese pizza. I let her know that I have a pepperoni prepped (not baked yet) and ask if she would mind having extra pepperoni without any cost. She agrees, I make her order, and I send her the food. An hour after close, as I’m about to walk out the door, I get a call. I pick it up to let whoever is calling know that we close early on weeknights, and this conversation follows:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]! I apologize, but we close at 11 on weeknights.”

Customer: “Hey! I ordered a pizza from you guys and it was really greasy! I want one that’s less greasy!”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience but we’re already closed.” *look up her order history and see she has a complaint and credit for all of her orders*

Customer: “Well, I want a credit! You should’ve told me it would have been greasy!”

Me: “I should have told you a double pepperoni, bacon, and extra cheese pizza was going to be greasy?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t credit your account. It seems you have a note here that says we’ve issued too many credits in the past. I apologize, but there’s nothing I can do for you today.”

Customer: “What?! That is OUTRAGEOUS. I have never complained in my life!”

Me: “The last time you ordered you had wings and said they were raw. Our wings come in precooked and we heat them when you order them.”

Customer: “They were RAW! You were trying to give me SALMONELLA!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’re closed and I won’t be able to help you today.”

Customer: “You f****** b****! I’m going to let your manager now and you’ll be FIRED!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager.”

(The customer hung up and we didn’t get another order from her again.)

A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 2
A Hot Slice Of Justice

Getting Your Wedding Just Desserts

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(The phone rings.)

Me: “[Bakery], may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, how many pieces are in [expensive item]?”

Me: “[Amount] for a full case.”

Customer: “How many flavors?”

Me: “[Amount] of flavors.”

Customer: “And how much is a full case?”

Me: “A full case is [case amount].”

Customer: “Perfect! Can you ship me four sample cases?”

Me: “Four full cases of [expensive item]?”

Customer: “Yes, please!”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “But I want them for my wedding!”

Me: “And I do appreciate that. You may purchase four cases at [price per case plus shipping].”

Customer: “But shipping is free, right?”

Me: “No. Based on your address your shipping would be approximately [amount].”

Customer: “WHAT?! That’s outrageous! I’ll only buy them if you offer free shipping for that price!”

Me: “I’m sorry; we do not offer free shipping. All of our items ship frozen. We need to ship via freezer truck or in the case of small orders such as yours, package them with dry ice and overnight them with FedEx. We cannot offer free shipping.”

Customer: “But it’s for my WEDDING!”

Me: “I understand that, but we cannot meet your request.”

Customer: “I really want these!”

Me: “I’m very happy to hear that; however, they are [amount] per case plus shipping.”

Customer: “Fine! I guess I won’t have them! At my WEDDING!” *practically screams into the phone*

Me: “Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.”  *click*

Office Manager: “Someone trying to get free wedding desserts?”

Me: “Yes.”

Office Manager: “So, how many does that make this week?”

Me: “Seven…”

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 14

| USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular

(I am at a store with my father. We are standing in the line for a self-checkout. It’s a five person line and all the machines are in use. One opens up and the first customer, a young woman, moves to the checkout. The second customer, an old man who hadn’t been in the line, steps in front of her and goes to check out his groceries.)

Father: “Hey, the line starts right here.”

(He motions to the spot behind us.)

Customer #2: “I have to check out my groceries.”

Customer #1: “So do the rest of us, and none of us skipped past the line.”

Customer #2: “My groceries are more important!”

Me: “By what standards?”

Customer #2: *to Father* “Didn’t you teach your kid to respect his elders?!”

Father: “Not when they’re being a**holes.”

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 13
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 12
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 11

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Welcome To The Entitlement Circus

MI, USA | Bad Behavior

(Back in 2000-2001, I worked in a well-known retail store in the electronics department, stocking and helping out customers. I am straightening the aisles when a customer comes up to me with a sales ad.)

Customer: “Do you have this DVD player with the VCR in stock?”

Me: “I don’t have it in stock; would you like a rain check?”

Customer: “How do you know? You haven’t looked.”

Me: “I sold the last one four hours ago. There aren’t any more on the shelf or in the back.”

Customer: “Could you check again?”

(I take the customer with me to the empty shelf where the DVD player should be.)

Me: “Ma’am, the shelf is empty. I’m sorry but we don’t have anymore.”

Customer: “Could you look in the back?”

Me: “I looked in the back for the previous customers that have already asked and there wasn’t any in the back stockroom.”

Customer: “Could you check again?”

(Without arguing, I agree to check in the back. I walk in the back stockroom knowing I am wasting both our times looking so I do the old “check the back stockroom” trick where I go in the back room and sit down for a few minutes and come back out.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I don’t have any.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I go the phone and dial the manager’s number. He comes over to my department.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, miss?”

Me: “Your stock boy doesn’t know how to look hard enough. I want this DVD player and he told me there isn’t any on the shelf or in the back.”

Manager: *to me* “Is this true? There’s not any in stock?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I sold the last one four hours ago.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I could offer you a rain check.”

Customer: “That’s not good enough. I want it now.”


(The manager leaves and walks away.)

Customer: *with a smirk* “I hope you learn your lesson.”

(She walks away. I finish straightening the aisle and seek out the manager. He isn’t on the floor so I go to his office in the back. When I see him in his office, he looks at me.)

Me: “Sir, you wanted to see me after straightening the aisles?”

Manager: *smiling* “You actually thought I was going to write you up?”

Me: “That is what you said.”

Manager: “Why? You made a sale.”

Me: *confused* “We didn’t sell anything to her. She walked out with nothing.”

Manager: “Yes, you did. Sometimes it’s the intangible items that sell. You may have not sold her a DVD player, but you sold her satisfaction knowing she was in control and could have people reprimanded at will.”

Me: *not happy* “Sir, with all due respect, I work in retail not a circus show. If she wanted entertainment, tell her to go to the movies.”

Manager: “I won’t put you though that next time.”

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