Category: Bad Behavior

On The Edge Of Your Car Seat

| Houston, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Popular

(While working in the stock room, I hear a blood-curdling scream from the front of the store. I rush up to the front to find a woman clutching her chest and pointing out the window at a small boy in the parking lot.)

Woman: “I’m so sorry. I just happened to look out the window and saw him run out and almost get hit by a van! Thank goodness it stopped.”

(The woman goes back to looking at merchandise, while a girl slightly older than the boy goes up to him and leads him back to the sidewalk. After a few minutes, the woman sees the children standing by the entrance.)

Woman: “Well, I guess I should head back out there. Those are my sister’s kids. I guess they got out of their car seats!”

Getting Rusty At Refunding

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(My manager is called up to the customer service desk because a man is trying to return a patio table without his receipt. It’s a product we don’t sell anymore and was purchased over a year ago. It is clearly covered in rust.)

Manager: “I’m sorry but I can’t allow this return. We have a 90 day return policy; without your receipt and given this was purchased a year ago, there’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager, then!”

Manager: “My manager will be in tomorrow. I can take down your information for her if you’d like.”

Customer: “No, I mean your regional manager! I’ll have him hear all about this!”

Manager: “All right, here’s his information.”

(The problem is, the customer will most likely lie, say he has his receipt, the product is in mint condition, and that we refused the return for no good reason.)

What A Crappy Deal

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money, Popular

(I sell stuff at flea markets. A group of women, some with children in tow come up to me.)

Woman #1: “I’ll give you 5€ for that.”

Me: “No, the lowest I’d go is 15€.”

Woman #1: “But I don’t want to spend more than 5€.”

Me: “Then we won’t have a deal. Maybe you’ll find something similar at another stall for that price.”

(The group moves on and everything seems okay. Sometime later the group passes my stall again.)

Woman #2: “Excuse me, do you maybe have a spare table somewhere? I really need to change my baby and there is no changing room anywhere.”

Me: “I don’t have a table, but I could offer you the bed of my van. It is empty and reasonably clean.”

Woman #2: “Thank you. Don’t worry, I have a changing mat.”

(I opened the van and went back to my stall to give her some privacy. After a little while the woman finished, thanked me, and the group left. When my father went to close the van there was a giant turd on the loading platform, much too big to be the contents of a diaper. Apparently that woman had taken a dump in my van because I didn’t sell something to her friend for the price she wanted.)

Can’t Scrub That Look Off Of You

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular

(Something about the way I look often makes fellow customers confuse me for a store employee. I’m walking with my wife through a store whose employees wear red and khaki. I am wearing light blue medical scrubs… A woman sees my wife walk away from me, walks quickly up to me, and nudges my left side with most of her body weight to get me to stop. She holds a sales flyer up to my chest, and talks demandingly.)

Customer: “Can you tell me why these things are-”

Me: *with a slight touch of attitude, pointing at my veterinary hospital’s logo* “I don’t work here…?”

(She then takes a step back, looks up and down my body twice, huffs loudly and rolls her eyes, then scurries away without another sound.)

Wife: *laughing* “Even in scrubs?”

Me: *laughing* “Even in scrubs…”

An All-Consuming Customer

| NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular

(I work in the contact center for a window decor company. In my department, I only take calls from the retail associates at the big box home improvement stores that sell our blinds and shades. But every so often, a consumer (that being the person who actually buys the blinds and takes them home) sneaks into our queue, even though they have a separate line. We can answer general product questions for consumers, but per policy, anything more involved than that gets transferred to Consumer Services.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company]; what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I’m trying to find my purchase order number.”

Me: *thinking I’m speaking to a retail associate* “Okay, take your time! And who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?”

Customer: “No, I need you to give me the PO number.”

Me: “Well, do you have a sales order number? I can find it with that.”

Customer: “I don’t have anything!”

Me: “That’s okay. I can wait here while you flag your manager down if you need to get your paperwork together. And I’m so sorry; I didn’t catch your name—“

Customer: “Manager?! What the h*** are you talking about? I’m at home!”

Me: *slowly realizing* “Are you calling about some blinds that you bought, ma’am?”

Customer: “YES. And I called earlier and you said I needed a PO, and I don’t have one!”

Me: “That’s no problem, ma’am. We should be able to see it on the label. Do you have the blinds down where you can look at the sticker inside the top rail?”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: *repeats myself*

Customer: “I don’t have the blinds yet! That’s why I called you! I want to pay for them!”

Me: “I see. And what’s your name, ma’am?”

Customer: “It’s [Customer]! I ALREADY TOLD YOU! ARE YOU STUPID?!”

Me: *smiling like a maniac* “Okay, [Customer], what I’m going to do is transfer you to our Consumer Services department. They’ll be happy to help you access your account and pay for your order.”

Customer: “NO!”

Me: *stunned silence*


Me: “I understand, [Customer], and I’m very sorry that you’ve had to wait, but the call volume over there is low and it won’t be a long wait. I’d do this for you myself, but this department only deals with contractors and retailers. Again, I do apologize for your trouble today. But if you’ll just bear with me—“

Customer: *abruptly hangs up*

Me: “—oooor you could just hang up. That’s fine with me, too.”

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