Category: Bad Behavior


They’ve Been Spoon-Fed Their Whole Life

| IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(Our ice cream shop mixes all of its 36 flavors ourselves in the back of the store, some of which are unique to the very small franchise, so we offer small taster spoons of flavors to customers so they can decide on their flavor.)

Me: “What can I get for you today, sir?”

Customer: “Can I taste your chocolate peanut butter brownie?”

Me: “Sure thing!”

(I reach into the pint container of clean taster spoons on the inside of my service window and grab a spoon to serve the customer his taste. The customer puts the spoon in his mouth and eats the ice cream.)

Customer: “I’ll just have a small chocolate.”

(I went to scoop his ice cream. While I was doing that, he opened the CLOSED service window, reached inside and deposited his USED spoon in the pint container of CLEAN spoons we use to serve all the customers. There was a little trashcan right outside the window just for this purpose. I stopped what I was doing and just stared incredulously at the customer. After serving him I ended up throwing the entire pint container of spoons away – obviously.)


A Blessing In Disguise

| ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Religion

(I’m stocking bags of cookies, and a customer comes up to me.)

Me: “Hello, how are you doing?”

Customer: “I am so blessed, thank you. Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “What’s that?”

Customer: “Do you ever think, when you’re doing your job, about how your company profits from the deprivation of children in third-world countries?”

Me: *thinking* “Um… no, but I’m certainly thinking about it now!”

Customer: “I just want to know.”

Me: “Sir… if you object to our business practices you’ll need to take that up with the corporate office.”

Customer: “But it’s a simple question. Yes or no?”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

(When they start with “I’m blessed,” it never ends well.)


Not Much Between His Headphones

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(Our policy in regards to returns without receipts is that anything over the value of $25 must have store director approval. They must also have an ID input into the system. Every store shares the same system, so when an ID is put in, we must write why and who approved it, same with if the return was denied. A male customer wearing shades walks up with his son who appears to be about six years old.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this. I need money for groceries.”

(He hands me a beat up box of wireless headphones. I open the box to make sure that everything’s there.)

Me: “Okay, did you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “Okay. Did you pay with a card?”

Customer: “Uh… no.”

Me: “Okay, let me call the store director for approval.” *on the phone with store director* “Hi, I have a customer here who wants to return some headphones without the receipt. It’s priced at $56.”

Store Director: “Get his ID and put it on a gift card.”

Me: “All right, no problem.” *back to customer* “All right, I just need your ID.”

Customer: “Uh… I left it in the car. I’ll be right back.” *he leaves for a second and finds it’s in his pocket* “Oh, I guess I had it.”

(I start typing in his information and I find out he’s returned several items to different stores. He was denied at the last store he tried to return at. So I reach for the phone to call the store director back to inform her when the customer stops me.)

Customer: “Is there something wrong?”

Me: “I’m not sure yet.” *calls store director* “Hey, so, he’s returned several items in the past and the last time he returned something he was denied by Asset Protection.”

Store Director: “Oh, then decline the return. It was most likely stolen.”

Me: “All right, thank you.” *I turn to the customer* “I’m sorry, but due to what the system has informed us, we cannot process this return.”

Customer: “Why not? You already opened the box. You have to!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I had to open the box to make sure that everything was there. The store director has denied the return.”

Customer: “But, you already opened it! I can’t sell this now!”

(After he left, my coworker and I informed our asset protection department of this customer. Turned out, he was on the surveillance camera for stealing those headphones yesterday.)


Not Really Buttering You Up For Good Service

| Fair Oaks, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am taking an order from a table of four whom I have waited on only once before. Every single person at the table is allergic to at least one thing.)

Me: “For you, sir?”

Customer: “I’ll have the crispy salmon, but I just want it grilled.”

Me: “Crispy salmon, not crispy?”

Customer: “Yes, but listen, I can’t have ANY BUTTER. Have the chef grill it in olive oil, lemon juice, and capers.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll let him know.”

Customer: “Listen, instead of the mashed potatoes, I want a baked potato, with all of the fixings on the side except sour cream. I can’t have ANY SOUR CREAM.”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “Also, instead of the carrots, I want extra asparagus, but make sure they grill it in olive oil, maybe a little lemon juice if they want, because I can’t have ANY BUTTER.”

Me: “No problem. I’m sorry, just to clarify, you said you wanted the salmon grilled with olive oil, lemon juice, and what else?”

Customer: “Capers. Capers. You should seriously have this down by now. I order this every week. I guess you do need to go to school for this job.”

(I go to the kitchen and tell the chef.)

Chef: “Did you tell him we don’t carry butter?”

Me: “Yeah… I told him last week, too.”


Doesn’t Know The Tip Of Scriptural Meaning

| Bad Behavior, Money, Popular, Religion

(I am a waitress at a restaurant. I’ve served a table and they are done with their meal but are just sitting and talking so I collect their empty dishes. When I do I discover that they’ve half hidden one of those fake $10 bills with John 3:16 written on it. I’m normally a pretty professional person, but I can’t help but speak up.)

Me: “Did you mean to leave this as a tip?”

Customer #1: “Yes. If you just accept Jesus Christ into your heart his love will be worth much more than any tip I could give you.”

Me: *pulls out cross necklace that I usually wear under my uniform* “Sir, I’m 32 years old and I’ve been a Christian since I was 17. I attend church twice a week unless I’m scheduled to work, and the God I know would tell me to lead by example. If you don’t want to tip your waitresses, fine, that’s your right, but please do not insult them or God by using Him as an excuse for it.”

(I tossed the “tip” back at him and take the dishes back to the kitchen leaving him dumbfounded. My manager intercepts me on my way back out to the dining room to check on my other tables.)

Manager: “Please go wait in the break room. I need to talk to you.”

(I do as he asks and I spend the next 10 minutes concerned that I am going to get written up or even fired.)

Manager: *walking into the break room* “So, I was going to write you up, but when I went out to talk to the table, three other tables informed me that if I fired you they were never coming back. I’m not going to write you up, but you really can’t do that. So why don’t you go home early today and come back tomorrow when you’re less aggravated?”

(I got my stuff and while I was on my way out I run into a customer that was sitting nearby in another waiter’s section.)

Customer #2: “Oh, no, you didn’t get fired, did you?”

Me: “No, I didn’t get fired. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Customer #2: “I’m glad. I hope this cheers you up.” *she writes something on the back of her receipt and hands it to me.*

(When I got home I looked up the bible verse she suggested, Proverbs 11:24-25: “One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.)

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