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Category: Bad Behavior

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A Gluten For Punishment, Part 2

| Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am in a sandwich shop waiting in line while the customer ahead of me orders.)

Customer: “Can I get a six-inch gluten free bread?”

Employee: “Sure, no problem. Do you want me to toast the bread before I put the toppings on?” *this is a standard offer for their gluten free bread*

Customer: “Yes.”

Employee: *after toasting* “So what kind of sandwich are you having today?”

Customer: “Scrape off the gluten.”

Employee: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “I can see the gluten. The dark bits. Scrape them off.”

(The employee scrapes off the toasted bits of the bread.)

Customer: “I want [Sandwich].”

Employee: *puts first type of meat on the bread*

Customer: “NO! Ham goes on the other side.”

Employee: *puts ham on the other side and starts putting on salami*

Customer: “No! Salami goes on last!”

(This goes on for each and every single thing the employee puts on the sub. The entire time he’s smiling like she’s the best customer in the world.)

Me: *after she makes her purchase and leaves* “Doesn’t she know it’s all going to the same place anyway? It tastes the same however you put it together.”

Employee: “Yes, it does.”

Me: “How do you put up with customers like that?”

Employee: “She’s a secret shopper. [Nearby branch of the same company] told me she might come by today.”

Related:
A Gluten For Punishment

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No Technology Policy Leads To No Policy

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(Today is August 7th. A new customer who started on July 28th, from a remote city in CA, calls and ask for his auto policy number. After I look him up and find his policy, I notice he doesn’t have an e-mail. Since we are trained to ask for one, I use this to segue to his request.)

Me: “Sir, do you happen to have an e-mail I can put on file, and we can send you proof with your policy number on it?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have an e-mail and I don’t have access to a printer.”

Me: “No problem. In that case here is your policy number. It’s [number].”

Customer: “Will this work for registering my car with the DMV?”

Me: “No, sir, probably not. They are going to want to see the insurance card itself. But, you should have it in your mailbox by now, judging by your start date.”

Customer: *getting a bit upset* “I’m not near my PO box right now and I don’t check my mail that often.”

Me: “Well, I can also fax it, if you have access.”

Customer: “I don’t have fax; can you fax it to the DMV?”

Me: “No problem, you just need to grab the fax number from your local DMV.”

Customer: *sighs heavily, obviously more upset, making it sound like WE are somehow inconveniencing HIM* “I knew I should have gone with another company!”

(I kindly explained that it didn’t matter who he was insured with, there is no other way, other than the three obvious options, to get him proof. He hung up, still unhappy. So, you are a technological holdout that doesn’t bother to check his mail at a PO box that he has to have, because by choice, he lives in the middle of nowhere. But it is, of course, the company’s fault you don’t have proof to register your vehicle properly.)

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Some People Are Proof Of Unreasonableness

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(Customer has come in to order very expensive, custom business cards. She has a file, in PDF format, that a designer has clearly set up for her. The cards are quoted and a proof is printed and signed off on. This is the exchange after her cards are completed.)

Me: “Here you go, [Customer]. The cards turned out great.”

Customer: “Oooh, there is a mistake.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but the mistake is there on the proof, which you signed off on.”

Customer: “Well, I won’t accept these.”

Me: “[Customer], the file you brought and signed off on is exactly what is on the card.”

Customer: “I don’t care. The font is all wrong. I don’t like the way it looks on the card. I won’t pay for them.”

(The customer has already paid for them, using her credit card and accepted our policy by approving the proof, but this happens from time to time, so we have a policy for this exact situation.)

Me: “The only thing I would be able to do is rerun them at a very minor discount, but you would still need to pay for these cards.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. Why should I pay for your mistake?”

Owner: “Can I help you?”

Me: *explains situation, including the discount part, with the customer arguing and being rude the entire time*

Owner: “Well, that is all we can do. You ordered a gold embossed card on a very expensive stock with a custom die-cut. Even at cost, these are expensive business cards.”

Customer: “I DO NOT ACCEPT THIS!”

Owner: “Doesn’t matter. You either take them or you don’t. Either way, you still have to pay for them. Any error is your error. You had a designer provide you the file, which you provided to us. We could not have changed it.”

Customer: *throws cards on the floor* “This isn’t over.”

(She was right, it wasn’t over. She called the police and reported us for credit card fraud. We explained the situation to them. They laughed at her. She disputed the transaction with her credit card company and won. Apparently our signed proof with our policy wasn’t enough. She went out of business a few months later.)

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Monitoring (Lack Of) Progress, Part 2

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

(I am one of the customers in this story. I’m waiting behind an elderly gentleman at the customer service counter, to pick up something I ordered online. As I’m watching him, he has a monitor but nothing else on the counter, and I’m bracing for a long wait as I fear he’s about to complain about the ‘computer.’ Sure enough…)

Elderly Gentleman: “This piece of trash isn’t working! It has too many cords and when I plug it into the wall it just says something some stupid signal cable.”

Cashier: “Did you plug it up to the computer tower?”

Elderly Gentleman: “What the f*** do you mean ‘computer tower.’ This is the computer!”

Cashier: “No, sir, this is just a monitor.”

Elderly Gentleman: *suddenly yelling* “NO, THAT’S THE COMPUTER! YOU A**HOLES ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO SELLING ME S*** I DON’T NEED LIKE THE BIG BOX.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but this just allows you to be able to see what you are telling the comp—”

Elderly Gentleman: “JUST GET ME THE F****** REFUND ALREADY!”

Cashier: Do you have the box it came in?”

Elderly Gentleman: “NO!”

Cashier: “Then, I cannot do that. I’m s—”

Elderly Gentleman: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

Cashier: *on the overhead* “[Manager] to Customer Service. [Manager] to Customer Service.”

(Seeing no way around this, I decide to try something that helped my granny understand the basics of the computer.)

Me: “Um… excuse me.”

Elderly Gentleman: “WAIT YOUR TURN!”

Me: “I’m actually wanting to help with you something.”

Elderly Gentleman: *scoffing* “Oh, really, like you could.”

Me: “Listen, I know your problem. My grandmother had the same thing.”

Elderly Gentleman: “Oh, did she now. These a**holes trying get her to buy more than she needed and selling junk?”

Me: “No, sir, she didn’t understand how it worked. You see a computer is a little like a TV: If you get a TV by itself, no converter box, no cable, no nothing, what do you usually get?”

Elderly Gentleman: “Snow.”

(At this point another employee arrives.)

Me: “Right, now when you add a cable box to it what do you get?”

(At this point, I can see the gears turning in his mind.)

Elderly Gentleman: “You get the channels and shows?”

Me: “Yes. Now replace the TV with this—” *I point to the monitor* “—and the cable box with the ‘big box’ and you have the similar thing.”

Elderly Gentleman: “But why the h*** are the big boxes so d*** much?”

Me: “Because they are more than just a receiver. They can also connect to other big boxes, they can play CDs, and do other things. Plus the big boxes are able to be used to do more than up, down, left, and right.”

Elderly Gentleman: “Oh! Hang on? The black boxes connecting to others, is that what that blue ‘E’ is for?”

(I nod as I realize a third employee join the group along with others, making me a little nervous. Thankfully the third employee starts to take over, keeping up with my comparisons. When I start to turn to the cashier and the second employee…)

Me: “Ummm… sorry… about that. Though, I’m here to pick up an order.”

(I show them my ID and order # but find that I’ve been handed a gift card, too.)

Me: “I didn’t ask for a card.”

Employee #2: “No, take it, and please fill out an application online. Include [Manager] in the notes. We’ve been needing help with exactly what you did.”

Me: “Thanks, but no thanks on the gift card. I will, however, do the application.”

(I did get hired on a few weeks later and have been commended on my ways to help customers understand computers. Though, that elderly gentleman is still my top customer.)

Related:
Monitoring (Lack Of) Progress

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Installed The “Lies” Plug-In

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry

(I work at an antique store but sometimes we get electronics and modern merchandise in the store. I always greet customers when I’m working as cashier since the registers are right in front of the door. This woman walks in and I greet her, but she just glares at me. I knew she would be trouble.)

Customer: “Hi. I was wondering how can I find out if this actually works?” *she has an old phone in her hand*

Me: “Well, what does it say on the tag?”

Customer: “I already read the f****** tag. It doesn’t say anything besides the description of the phone.”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, ma’am, in order for me to find out whether this phone works or not, I would have to unplug the telephone cord. That would turn off our fax machine and our credit card machine, so unfortunately, I can’t tell you if it works.”

Customer: “Well, isn’t there another store I can go to and ask them if they’ll unplug their lines for me?”

Me: “I can assure you that no businesses around here will be willing to unplug their lines to plug in a phone that doesn’t belong to them.”

Customer: “Don’t f****** lie to me, you b****! The other store I went to said they would unplug their lines for me!”

Me: “We’re not affiliated with that store, ma’am. I’m not allowed to walk over there and ask them to unplug their lines.”

Customer: “Well, no wonder you’re such a fat b****! You can’t even walk a couple of blocks to help me?! I want to speak to your manager immediately! Why would she ever hire a fat little s*** like you?! What kind of store is this?! I want to speak to the owner. You’ll get fired, just see!”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. I’ll have my manager meet with you shortly.”

Manager: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “This stupid employee of yours was extremely rude to me! I want her fired immediately!”

Manager: “What has she done to you?”

Customer: “She REFUSED to plug this phone in for me.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I heard the whole conversation. There is no need to lie about someone who’s young enough to be your granddaughter. If you like the other store so much, I suggest you find your phone there.”

Customer: “You’re all racist! I’m calling the person who owns this place! I’ll Yelp how terrible you and your employees are!”

(She promptly left the store, red faced and embarrassed. I never did find that Yelp review, though.)

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