Category: Bad Behavior

How To Neuter A Prank Call

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

(The phone ring.)

Me: “Hello, You’re through to—”

Caller: “—ah, yes. Do you neuter men?”

(There is giggling in the background, and it is clearly a prank call.)

Me: “Yes, we do. In fact, I am with a patient right now.”

(One of the parrots chooses that moment to scream.)

Me: “Sam, if you held still this wouldn’t hurt so much! Sorry, we ran out of anesthetic and he just won’t hold still… Hello?”

Unable To Make-Up

| Concord, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I have recently quit my job and am working the cash register on my last scheduled day. I’ve made it to my last half hour without incident. At the time, the shift supervisor and I are the only people on the floor as our coworker is on lunch. A middle-aged customer walks up to my register, cuts in front of a regular customer, and throws a plastic bag onto the counter.)

Customer: “This makeup I bought is terrible. I hate it. It doesn’t bring out my eyelashes like it should and I want you to do something about it.”

Me: “Err, I can definitely give you a refund if you’re unhappy with the product.”

(I open the plastic bag to find that not only does she not have a receipt, but she also doesn’t have the original packing, which means the product doesn’t have the necessary bar code.)

Me: “Ma’am, I do require both the receipt and the original packaging. Do you happen to have either of those?”

Customer: “No, I don’t! I want my money back!”

Me: “I can give you a store gift card with the amount of the refund, but without the bar code I can’t go any further with this. I’ll call my supervisor and have her find the product packaging.”

(I call my supervisor who leaves to find the product on the shelf. We have a large cosmetics section, so this takes a few minutes. The line is growing longer and people are beginning to stare at me expectantly.)

Me: “Ma’am, would it be okay if I helped the customers in line behind you? It will take a few minutes for my supervisor to find the correct product.”

Customer: *completely ignoring the fact that she had cut to the front of the line* “I was here first and you will help me first!”

(My regular customer, an older woman, gives me a knowing nod. Just then my supervisor returns and hands me the product.)

Customer: “I can’t believe your store is so unorganized!” *continues ranting as I complete the return*

(I try my best to ignore the rudeness spilling from her mouth, but it becomes increasingly difficult. I finish her return as best I can.)

Me: “If I could just have you sign the return slip ma’am.” *hands her a pen*

Customer: “I am NOT signing anything! It’s YOUR fault, anyway! Your customer service skills are terrible, your products are terrible, and I’m never shopping here again!”

(At this point the customer throws the pen at me and hits me directly in my eye. I lose my cool, but before I can act my regular customer steps up.)

Regular: “Listen here, lady. I’ve watched you mistreat this young man for the last 5 minutes. Verbal assault is one thing, but now you’ve physically assaulted him. I have half a mind to call the police, but you’re a special case and should be dealt with accordingly.”

(To my complete surprise, my regular begins beating the customer with her purse and runs her out of the store. As the rude woman leaves, my regular follows her out and calls after her.)

Regular: “Make-up can’t fix ugly like yours, honey!”

Getting Belongings Where You Don’t Belong

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(A woman approaches my register and slams a pile of clothes on the counter.)

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: *giggles* “Yep. This trip was a steal!”

Me: “Well, we all get lucky, I guess.”

(One of the items doesn’t seem to have a price tag on it, so I ask her where she found it. She points at the back of the store. )

Customer: “It was in that side room you guys have.”

Me: *confused* “Side room? What are you talking about?

Customer: “That’s where you keep all the good stuff, right? There was a really cute scarf in there, too.”

(One of my coworkers, who is leaving for her lunch break, approaches the counter.)

Coworker: “Have you seen my scarf?”

Me: “What does it look like?”

Coworker: “It’s black, with pink stripes.”

(I hold up a scarf from the pile.)

Me: “This one?”

Coworker: “Yeah, where’d you find it?”

Me: *suddenly realizing what’s going on* “Ma’am, did you go into our staff room?”

Customer: “The side room? Yeah. That’s where I got this coat!”

(She holds up my coworker’s coat. I don’t know how, but she managed to open a locked room, with no one noticing, and took our stuff!)

Me: “Ma’am, these are not for sale. They’re our belongings.”

Customer: “You’re lying! You just want these for yourself!”

(She begins throwing clothes at me, knocking over racks, and making a mess of the store before running out and yelling about how our store is robbing their customers. She didn’t even buy anything!)

Wants To Have Her Cake And Eat It

| MT, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work as a cake decorator. A woman and her seven-year-old daughter come into the store to order a birthday cake for the girl. The mother argues with her daughter over which cake to get, consents to let the girl have the cake she wants, places the order, then returns a couple days later with her daughter to pick up her order.)

Customer: “This isn’t the cake I ordered.”

(I proceed to go over the order form with her. We have a policy of reading back each order when it is placed to make sure we have all the information, and the customer had previously confirmed that the order was accurate. As I am the one who took the order, I know for a fact that I did this.)

Me: “According to your order form you ordered [cake decoration pack] in white buttercream, with “Happy Birthday [Daughter].”

Customer: “No, I ordered [other decoration pack], not this one! I want this cake for free since you messed up on it!”

Daughter: “Mom, we ordered this one, because this is the one I wanted!”

Customer: “No, I didn’t want this one. I wanted the other one!”

(I show the little girl her cake.)

Me: “Is this what you wanted your cake to look like?”

Daughter: “Yes! It’s perfect!”

Me: “Okay, here you go! You have a wonderful birthday!”

(I handed the cake to the girl, who was clearly impressed by the job we did. The mother glared at me and my coworkers before conceding victory to her daughter, then left to pay for the cake.)

Return Of The Returner

| MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(A customer comes in, carrying no bags, and heads straight for the return desk.)

Customer: “Hello, I need to return this coat.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what coat?”

(The customer takes off the coat she’s wearing and dumps it on the counter.)

Customer: “This coat! I can’t wear it anymore! I need a new one!”

Me: “All right, do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “Yes, I do.”

(The receipt she comes up with is from November. It’s January now. But she has the receipt, so I have to process the return.)

Me: “All right, that’s [price].”

Customer: “No, no! It’s [higher price].”

Me: “No, you got a ten percent discount when you bought it.”

Customer: “That wasn’t on the coat! It was on everything else!”

Me: “Ma’am, the ten percent came off the whole order.”

Customer: “No, I called someone yesterday, and they said I could get the whole amount. I have to go. Just ring it up for the whole amount.”

Me: “Do you know who you spoke to?”

Customer: “No. A manager.”

(I call the supervisor over, and he authorizes the return without the ten percent.)

Customer: “Now I want the ten percent off the one I buy. I’ll be right back.”

(She returns with another coat that’s more money.)

Me: “And the difference is [amount].”

Customer: “What? Did you take the ten percent?”

Me: “I can’t take the ten percent off because it’s a one-time discount.”

Customer: “The manager told me I could do that!”

Supervisor: “Do you know which manager you spoke to? What was his name?”

Customer: “He didn’t give me his name. I’ve got to go. Can we just ring this up?”

(Supervisor authorizes the discount again, eager to be rid of this woman. Little did we know…)

Me: “Wow, that was weird.”

(Five minutes later, the customer comes back, shedding her new coat and dropping it on the counter.)

Customer: “I can’t wear this! It’s too big! Give me the money back, and I’ll go get another one!”

(At this point, the supervisor took over and rang her himself.)

Customer: “You’re sure it looks all right now?”

Me: “Yes, it’s very nice.”

Customer: “It’s not too big?”

Me: “No, it looks good on you.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(The customer leaves, and I breathe a sigh of relief. A few minutes later, she came back.)

Customer: “This is ripped!” *she shows us a minuscule tear in the cuff* “I can’t wear it like this! Take some money off!”

Supervisor: “This item is final clearance. I can’t mark it down any further.”

Customer: “It’s torn! I have to take it to a tailor now! Give me a discount!”

Supervisor: “I physically can’t do it. The system won’t allow me to mark down lower than the final clearance price.”

Customer: “But it’s damaged goods! Would you buy this like this?”

Supervisor: “It’s marked down sixty percent off the original price. That’s the lowest the system will let me go.”

Customer: “I can return this, if it costs to much to repair?”

Supervisor: “Yes, just save your receipt.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(The customer finally leaves, and for the rest of the evening, I was terrified she’d come back again!)