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Category: Bad Behavior

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Always Loyal

| NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I used to work at the local store of a chain. I’m now in the same store doing some shopping, and come across someone making a scene in one of the aisles.)

Customer: “Now, you listen to me. I’ve been coming here for ten years. Every time I come here, you people are nothing but rude and unhelpful, you never have what I want, and everything is ALWAYS the wrong price!”

Me: “Hey, miss, can I give you some advice?”

Customer: “Huh? Oh, do YOU know how to deal with these people?!”

Me: “Yep. Leave.”

Customer: “Wh… what?”

Me: “You’ve got a completely full cart there, crammed to the gills. It’s stuff from pretty much every section of the store, so I figure you were probably here for at least an hour. I KNOW you’ve been here for at least twenty minutes, because your voice carries like the screech of a crow. Half the things you’re asking the staff to do, they can’t; the other half you’re asking them to do they probably would, if you hadn’t been making their lives miserable from the moment you walked in. I also saw your husband or boyfriend or brother or whatever; he is over there trying to tell people to leave because you think these guys are crooks. He’s an a**-hole.”

Customer: *stumbling over herself in rage* “How DARE you!?”

Me: “Oh, and by the way, you have thirty days to return items. It’s on the receipt, it’s on the huge sign up at Guest Services, and it’s online. That garbage you’re yelling about them being ‘required’ to return is from last year’s collection, which I know because I have a set at home. It’s good quality stuff, so how you broke yours I can only imagine.”

Customer: “Who do you think you are to talk to me like that!?”

Me: *totally deadpan* “I’m the god-d***ed Batman.”

(I don’t really know what possessed me to say that. At least it got the poor, shell-shocked store employee to laugh his head off. The woman sticks her nose up in the air and storms off.)

Employee: “Oh, my gosh, THANK you. We’re never allowed to tell off the customer unless they’re being offensive or violent, and she hadn’t hit that yet!”

Me: “Semper Fidelis.”

Employee: “What?”

Me: “I was here 2002-2004, worked every section in hardlines, and spent three Christmases in the toy section. I also dealt with that EXACT problem from your end. That was about a decade of steam I just let off my chest!”

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Gangsta Needed To Get Spanked

| Jefferson City, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Popular

(I am working a 12-hour day since two other employees are on vacation. I am on my final hour, and have just finished with some “wannabe gangstas,” who are very rude and obviously drunk. I go check on another customer.)

Me: *sighs* “Hello. Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: *in her mid-20s* “Yeah. Sorry about them.”

Me: “Thanks.”

Customer: “Yeah, my parents disciplined me when I was younger so I grew up with a condition called ‘respect for others.’”

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No Signal Getting To This Brain

| MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular, Technology

(I manage at a small, family owned restaurant that has a dining area and a bar. During happy hour, the bar puts out a small chafing dish filled with complementary wings for our customers. During my shift, the bartender calls me over.)

Bartender: “The woman over there wants to talk to you. She’s asking if we have free wifi.”

(I glance over and notice a woman sitting in the corner of the bar sipping on ice water and eating a plate full of the free wings. I walk over to the woman.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am, [Bartender] tells me you had a question regarding whether we offer free wifi?”

Woman: “Yes, I think that you should offer free wifi for your customers.”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience, ma’am, but we don’t have free wifi for customers. You would have to bring that up with the owners.”

Woman: “That’s ridiculous. You need to give me the wifi password.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know any wifi passwords. Like I said before, this establishment doesn’t offer free wifi. We’re just a small business.”

Woman: “Well, why should I have to use my own data for two hours?! I won’t come back here if you don’t get wifi. It’s the least you could do for PAYING customers!”

(I’m getting irritated as I’m busy and this conversation is going around in circles.)

Me: “Ma’am, no offense but you’re sipping ice water and eating all the wings, both of which are free so technically you’re not a paying customer. Nor do I see how were responsible for you having to use your data plan when you’re here. We’re not forcing you to sit here for hours and browse the Internet. If it’s really that big of a deal, there’s a McDonald’s right down the road. There’s your free wifi.” *smiles sweetly*

Woman: “UGH!” *grabs her purse and plate of wings and leaves*

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No Signal Getting To His Brain