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Category: Bad Behavior

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Bad Behavior Is On The Cards

| UK | Bad Behavior, One-Liners, Popular

(We have an online system where when you buy online to collect in store. All you need is your card that you bought it with. It is the second line of the email. I know, because I’ve read the automated email a million times, as it is handed to me every day by sensible customers who know how to function properly. I offer my help and diagnose the type of service this man needs and I find his parcel.)

Me: “Do you have the card you purchased the parcel with?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “All right, are you able to get hold of the last four digits of your card number?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, can’t you contact someone who has access to the card? Or possibly log into an account like Amazon or PayPal, that have those four digits on display?”

Customer: “It’s not my card; it’s my girlfriend’s.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t release the parcel without those last four digits.”

Customer: “What?! That’s my parcel! I’ve paid for it! It has my name on it!”

Me: “I can’t release it without proof of purchase; I’m sorry.”

Customer: “You have to release it because it is mine!”

Me: “I can’t release it.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know I needed the card?”

Me: “It says in the email sent to you to tell you the parcel has arrived here.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t!”

Me: “Yes, it does.”

Customer: “I’ll show you it doesn’t!”

Me: “Go for it.”

Customer: *checks his phone to discover that the email DOES in fact state you must bring the card used for purchase* “Oh, for f*** sake! I never read my emails that far down!”

Me: “If you can get those four digits, I can give you your parcel.”

Customer: “No. I want the d*** thing refunded.”

Me: “I still can’t do that without the card.”

Customer: “Then shove it up your f****** a**, then!”

Me: “I can’t do that without the card either.”

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Just You Wait(ress)

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Popular, School

(I work in a popular chain restaurant waiting tables. It is in a pretty affluent area. A mother and her daughter come and sit in my section. The little girl has a pad of paper and a pen with her.)

Me: “Hi, ladies, how are you today?”

Mother: “We’re great! Thanks for asking.”

Daughter: “Are you a waitress?”

Me: “Yes, I am. Can I get you guys something to drink?”

Daughter: “I want to be a waitress when I get older!”

Mother: *laughing* “Yes, she wants to be a waitress when she gets older. But I know that won’t happen. She’s going to go to college and get a real job. She’s too smart to wait tables.”

Me: *staring at her incredulously* “Umm, can I get you something to drink?”

(Little did the woman know, I wait tables in order to put myself through college.)

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Message Receipted

| Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I work in drive-thru at a well-known fast food store and I always ask the customer if they want their receipt to make the transaction go quicker.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt today?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *hands them the receipt*

Customer: *looks me dead in the eye and drops the receipt on the ground and drives away without breaking eye contact*