Category: Bad Behavior

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 21

| Vidalia, GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work for a small department store chain as a store manager. One night after closing my store, I head out to the local [Big Chain Store] to pick up some things, and I find myself heading in the direction of the pet department. As I near, a lady comes out and grabs my arm, stopping me.)

Woman: “I need help in pets, and there’s no one here.”

Me: “Probably someone over in toys. Just go ask them.”

Woman: “I need HELP.”

Me: “Then ask someone.”

Woman: “What’s your name?”

Me: “None of your business.”

(With that I walk off, leaving the lady fuming and angry. A bit later I am talking to a manager. As I’m doing this, I see the lady come out. She spots me and her face lights up full of anger.)

Woman: “I’m going to get you fired!”

(Turning to the manager she starts ranting on how she asked me for help, and various things, adding that I was rude, and she was going to call [Big Chain Store]’s help line if the manager didn’t fire me on the spot.)

Manager: “Uh… I can’t fire him.”

Woman: “Why the f*** not?” *starts dialing*

(I reach up to my company’s badge, pull it off and extend it in front of the lady’s face.)

Me: “Because I don’t work here. I, like you, am a customer. I’m not bound to help you, and you shouldn’t just assume that everyone in a shirt and tie is a manager.”

(The woman stares at the badge, and then looks to me, before looking back at the manager.)

Woman: “I’m still going to complain.”

Manager: “Yeah, see how well that works out for you. ‘Oh, yes, I was at [Big Chain Store] and asked a customer to help me, and they told me they wouldn’t help me. So I’m complaining about rude customers like myself.’”

(She caved at that point and sulked away.)

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 20
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 19
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 18

Complaining To Have Nothing To Complain About, Part 2

| Long Island, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get you today?”

Customer: “I’ve had a really bad day so far! I’ll have a double shot espresso with extra cream.”

Me: “Oh, no! I’ll make sure to give your order extra attention to try and cheer you up.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

(I make her coffee, and place it down on her table.)

Customer: “Wow, that was quick!”

Me: “Yeah, and just so you know, there’s cream and sugar on the table over by the entrance.”

Customer: “Thanks again.”

(About five minutes later she starts screaming at my coworker.)

Customer: “I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO [My Name]! RIGHT THIS INSTANT!”

Coworker: *on the verge of tears* “I’ll go get him…”

Customer: “These people…”

(My coworker comes over to me.)

Coworker: “[My Name], [Customer] wants you…”

Me: “I know…”

(I walk to her and she immediately starts yelling at me.)

Customer: “THIS COFFEE IS BETTER THAN I EXPECTED! I DEMAND A COMPENSATION DRINK!”

Me: “Isn’t it good if the drink is better than you expected?”

Customer: “NO!”

Related:
Complaining To Have Nothing To Complain About

You’re My Hero-in

, | CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(I used to do overnight cell phone tech support for a major provider. As I worked on the prepaid side, we tended to get weird or unreasonable customers on a consistent basis, especially late at night. The customer I’ve been working with in this story, however, has been completely calm and reasonable throughout our call. Also note that I have only heard him during the entire call, nobody else.)

Me: “Well, if there’s nothing else I can do to assist you tonight I just want to thank you for being the best part of [Company]. Again, my name is [My Name] and I hope you have a great rest of your night!”

Customer: “Thanks, you too! Good night.”

(At this point the line goes quiet but is still connected. Assuming he either thinks he hung up or is waiting for me to do so, I reach for the release button.)

Customer: “WHAT THE F*** WERE YOU THINKING?!”

(I jump, but realize that he’s not talking to me. For the first time I hear someone muttering to him in the background.)

Customer: “Why the f*** did you think it was a good idea to say ‘heroin’ while I was on a call? What the f*** are you going to do if I go back to jail, huh?!”

(At that point I released the call, hoping the customer didn’t realize we were still connected and the only person I heard talking about illegal narcotics was him.)

A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 3

, | Pensacola, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular

(At 30 minutes until close, a customer calls in to order a pepperoni, bacon, and extra cheese pizza. I let her know that I have a pepperoni prepped (not baked yet) and ask if she would mind having extra pepperoni without any cost. She agrees, I make her order, and I send her the food. An hour after close, as I’m about to walk out the door, I get a call. I pick it up to let whoever is calling know that we close early on weeknights, and this conversation follows:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]! I apologize, but we close at 11 on weeknights.”

Customer: “Hey! I ordered a pizza from you guys and it was really greasy! I want one that’s less greasy!”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience but we’re already closed.” *look up her order history and see she has a complaint and credit for all of her orders*

Customer: “Well, I want a credit! You should’ve told me it would have been greasy!”

Me: “I should have told you a double pepperoni, bacon, and extra cheese pizza was going to be greasy?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t credit your account. It seems you have a note here that says we’ve issued too many credits in the past. I apologize, but there’s nothing I can do for you today.”

Customer: “What?! That is OUTRAGEOUS. I have never complained in my life!”

Me: “The last time you ordered you had wings and said they were raw. Our wings come in precooked and we heat them when you order them.”

Customer: “They were RAW! You were trying to give me SALMONELLA!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’re closed and I won’t be able to help you today.”

Customer: “You f****** b****! I’m going to let your manager now and you’ll be FIRED!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager.”

(The customer hung up and we didn’t get another order from her again.)

Related:
A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 2
A Hot Slice Of Justice

Getting Your Wedding Just Desserts

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(The phone rings.)

Me: “[Bakery], may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, how many pieces are in [expensive item]?”

Me: “[Amount] for a full case.”

Customer: “How many flavors?”

Me: “[Amount] of flavors.”

Customer: “And how much is a full case?”

Me: “A full case is [case amount].”

Customer: “Perfect! Can you ship me four sample cases?”

Me: “Four full cases of [expensive item]?”

Customer: “Yes, please!”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “But I want them for my wedding!”

Me: “And I do appreciate that. You may purchase four cases at [price per case plus shipping].”

Customer: “But shipping is free, right?”

Me: “No. Based on your address your shipping would be approximately [amount].”

Customer: “WHAT?! That’s outrageous! I’ll only buy them if you offer free shipping for that price!”

Me: “I’m sorry; we do not offer free shipping. All of our items ship frozen. We need to ship via freezer truck or in the case of small orders such as yours, package them with dry ice and overnight them with FedEx. We cannot offer free shipping.”

Customer: “But it’s for my WEDDING!”

Me: “I understand that, but we cannot meet your request.”

Customer: “I really want these!”

Me: “I’m very happy to hear that; however, they are [amount] per case plus shipping.”

Customer: “Fine! I guess I won’t have them! At my WEDDING!” *practically screams into the phone*

Me: “Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.”  *click*

Office Manager: “Someone trying to get free wedding desserts?”

Me: “Yes.”

Office Manager: “So, how many does that make this week?”

Me: “Seven…”

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