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Category: Bad Behavior

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Off-Color Off-Camera Remark

| Ireland | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Popular

(The bookshop I work in is located in quite a busy city station. People are usually rushing and forget stuff all the time, so we get phone calls almost daily regarding forgotten bags, wallets, and purchases.)

Me: “Good morning, [Company].”

Customer: Ah, hello, yes. I was in your shop last night and I left my wallet behind on the counter.”

Me: “Oh, sure, and were you in the book department or the news?”

Customer: “Newspapers.”

Me: “Sure thing. Hang on there and let me just check with the girls.”

(I phone across to News, and after a couple of enquiries, no wallet is forthcoming. I get back on to the customer.)

Me: “Hi, sorry, the girls say there’s no sign of any wallet left behind the counter or in the safe or anything. It was definitely in News, was it?”

Customer: “Oh, yes, definitely.”

Me: “Okay, hang on again. It may’ve been brought across to our office for safe-keeping. Let me just double-check.”

(I phone inside to the cash office with my enquiries, to no avail, and get back on to the customer.)

Me: “Okay, no one can seem to find your wallet, but listen: the girls who worked the close last night aren’t in yet today, so if I can just get your phone number and description, I’ll have our security guard check the CCTV from last night and see if we can’t track it down.”

(I get the customer’s description, colour of clothing, time of transaction. She even describes her daughter’s details to me so I can pick them out in the busy milling shop-floor, and I promise to call her right back as soon as I find anything. The security guard and I head inside and after a few seconds searching, find the customers fitting the description, at the correct time. We watch the transaction. No wallet was left behind. I get back on the phone.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] from [Company]. Is that [Customer]? Yes, hi. Well, the security guard and I just had a quick peep through the CCTV from last night and you didn’t actually leave your wallet behind in our shop.”

Customer: “I did.”

Me: *nonplussed* “Eh… you didn’t, though.”

(I describe the scene I just watched, down to the bright green well-known grocery bag carried by her and another carried by her daughter.)

Customer: *still eerily calm and unconcerned* “I left my wallet on your counter.”

(At this point, my supervisor is hovering nearby, watching my incredulous expression intently.)

Me: “You paid for your purchases and put your wallet back in your bag. It’s quite clear on the camera.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t care what’s on the camera.”

(I hold the phone away from my ear and stare at it like it’s an alien, before covering the receiver and turning to my supervisor.)

Me: “She says she doesn’t care what’s on the camera. I have no idea what to do with that.”

(My supervisor now takes the phone from me, lest my head actually explode. I wander off, shaking my not-yet-exploded head. To this day I’ve never understood quite what happened there.)

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On The Edge Of Your Car Seat

| Houston, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Popular

(While working in the stock room, I hear a blood-curdling scream from the front of the store. I rush up to the front to find a woman clutching her chest and pointing out the window at a small boy in the parking lot.)

Woman: “I’m so sorry. I just happened to look out the window and saw him run out and almost get hit by a van! Thank goodness it stopped.”

(The woman goes back to looking at merchandise, while a girl slightly older than the boy goes up to him and leads him back to the sidewalk. After a few minutes, the woman sees the children standing by the entrance.)

Woman: “Well, I guess I should head back out there. Those are my sister’s kids. I guess they got out of their car seats!”

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Getting Rusty At Refunding

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(My manager is called up to the customer service desk because a man is trying to return a patio table without his receipt. It’s a product we don’t sell anymore and was purchased over a year ago. It is clearly covered in rust.)

Manager: “I’m sorry but I can’t allow this return. We have a 90 day return policy; without your receipt and given this was purchased a year ago, there’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager, then!”

Manager: “My manager will be in tomorrow. I can take down your information for her if you’d like.”

Customer: “No, I mean your regional manager! I’ll have him hear all about this!”

Manager: “All right, here’s his information.”

(The problem is, the customer will most likely lie, say he has his receipt, the product is in mint condition, and that we refused the return for no good reason.)

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What A Crappy Deal

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money, Popular

(I sell stuff at flea markets. A group of women, some with children in tow come up to me.)

Woman #1: “I’ll give you 5€ for that.”

Me: “No, the lowest I’d go is 15€.”

Woman #1: “But I don’t want to spend more than 5€.”

Me: “Then we won’t have a deal. Maybe you’ll find something similar at another stall for that price.”

(The group moves on and everything seems okay. Sometime later the group passes my stall again.)

Woman #2: “Excuse me, do you maybe have a spare table somewhere? I really need to change my baby and there is no changing room anywhere.”

Me: “I don’t have a table, but I could offer you the bed of my van. It is empty and reasonably clean.”

Woman #2: “Thank you. Don’t worry, I have a changing mat.”

(I opened the van and went back to my stall to give her some privacy. After a little while the woman finished, thanked me, and the group left. When my father went to close the van there was a giant turd on the loading platform, much too big to be the contents of a diaper. Apparently that woman had taken a dump in my van because I didn’t sell something to her friend for the price she wanted.)

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Can’t Scrub That Look Off Of You

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular

(Something about the way I look often makes fellow customers confuse me for a store employee. I’m walking with my wife through a store whose employees wear red and khaki. I am wearing light blue medical scrubs… A woman sees my wife walk away from me, walks quickly up to me, and nudges my left side with most of her body weight to get me to stop. She holds a sales flyer up to my chest, and talks demandingly.)

Customer: “Can you tell me why these things are-”

Me: *with a slight touch of attitude, pointing at my veterinary hospital’s logo* “I don’t work here…?”

(She then takes a step back, looks up and down my body twice, huffs loudly and rolls her eyes, then scurries away without another sound.)

Wife: *laughing* “Even in scrubs?”

Me: *laughing* “Even in scrubs…”

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