Category: Bad Behavior

Thief Should Have Wised Up And Smelled The Coffee

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Popular

(I customer walks in, and we both exchange our hellos. A few minutes later I see the guy quickly look at me from my peripheral vision. Thinking it is kind of odd, I slowly tip-toe towards him and see him walk the opposite way around my counter, holding something below the counter’s height so I can’t see it. I start to walk backwards as he is quickly making his way to the doors, and then the alarm goes on. This guy is holding a big a** Tassimo coffee maker. Here’s how you know he isn’t a good thief, because he stops to have a conversation with me.)

Thief: “Hey, so where’s the uh… the um… the coffee or whatever that goes with this.”

Me: “Put the Tassimo on my counter and I’ll show you.”

(He reluctantly puts it down, and I bring him to the coffee that is right above the Tassimo maker he is trying to take.)

Thief: “Oh, right, that’s cool.”

(He grabs a handful of random ones and we walk over to my counter. He puts the coffee on the Tassimo machine box. He is patting his coat pockets pretending to feel around for his wallet.)

Thief: “Hmm, well, I forgot my wallet. I’ll be right back.”

Me: *I smile* “No you won’t,”

Thief: *looks at me, saddened* “You’re right.”

(He did end up coming back a few weeks later trying to steal a lamp but luckily I was working and he ended up with nothing.)

Putting The Selfish Into Selfie

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Time

(I make the mistake of visiting a very popular coffee shop at a busy time. After more than 10 minutes I am second in the queue behind a teenage girl already holding a coffee from another shop, and there are at least 15 more customers waiting behind me.)

Customer: *stares blankly at the barista*

Barista: “What can I get you?”

Customer: “Oh! I don’t know… Give me a second.” *pause* “Can I get, like, a muffin?”

Barista: *clearly already very stressed by the amount of people waiting* “We have banana, chocolate chip, blueberry, pumpkin, and lemon. Which one?”

Customer: “Oh, uh… I don’t know. Blueberry?”

Barista: *swiftly gets muffin out of case and puts it on the counter, trying to speed up the transaction* “Is that everything for you today?”

Customer: “Uh, hang on.”

(She then proceeds to grab the muffin, take out her phone, and TAKE A SELFIE with her pastry. Still not finished, she logs on to social media, filters and captions the photo, and finally posts it before turning back to the now shaking-with-rage barista.)

Customer: “Okay. Can I get, like, a [very complicated dessert drink with numerous substitutions]?”

Barista: *eyes twitching* “[Total].”

(Back on her phone, she takes her time finding her money before flouncing off after her friends.)

Me: *to Barista* “I am so sorry you had to put up with that. And I’m sorry that I didn’t slap her. Just one medium coffee for me, please, and keep the change.”

Taking Out The Trashy Customers

| LA, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Popular

(We have a policy on our non-perishable items that if they’ve been marked down a few times, the next time we charge only a penny for them, just to get rid of them. One of our regular customers has the annoying habit of knowing the markdown schedule and taking items she suspects are going to be a penny and hiding them throughout the store in odd places, so she can come back and retrieve them to pay only one cent. I’ve found many of these and returned them to the shelves, where they were promptly purchased by others. She’s previously yelled at me when her stashed items were gone. The next time the penny-pinching regular shows up:)

Customer: “What happened to the green vase?”

Me: “Which one is that?”

Customer: “The one that was so marked down. I wanted it.”

Me: *knowing I’d found it in her hidey hole and it had been sold* “Oh, that one. We threw it in the dumpster. It had been marked down and no one seemed to want it.”

Customer: “What? You just threw it in the dumpster?”

Me: “Yeah, but I don’t think they’d care if you wanted to peek in there and see if it’s on top.”

Customer: “Okay, then!”

Coworker: “What was that all about?”

Me: “I just sent her to dig to the bottom of the stinkiest garbage ever, for something that doesn’t exist.”

Coworker: “Good.”

You’re Too Good For Some Customers

, | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior

(My manager on duty receives a call that a coworker won’t come in. Three hours later a second coworker has failed to show up. It is my manager working the drive-thru window and me preparing all the food. Three hours into what becomes a five-hour rush with us alone, an older lady gets to the window.)

Manager: “Hi, sorry about the wait.”

Lady: “Oh? Is there a problem?”

Manager: “Oh, we had two coworkers who didn’t show up and we’re stuck here alone.”

Lady: *rather sure of herself* “Well, that’s nice. It’s good for you.”

Manager: *silently closes window then turns to me* “What a c***!”

(We finally got help when the night crew got there but I left an hour and a half late. Whoever that lady was, she’s no one I want to meet!)

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 5

| Belleville, WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

(I work for a company that sells sturdy, high-quality clothing for outdoor and physically-intensive activities. The prices tend to be higher than your average big-box clothing, but the quality and durability is such that most people are glad to pay a little extra for something they know is dependable. We are having one of our biggest sales. I’m taking catalog orders over the phone.)

Caller: “I want the [Popular Jacket, which is currently 50% off]. That should be $35.50 today, is that right?”

Me: “It’s coming up as $39.95. Let me double-check that.”

Caller: *already irate* “It’s half off, that makes it $35.95! I got the email about it this morning!”

Me: “I just checked. Normal price is $79.90, so 50% off is $39.95.”

Caller: “50% off is $35.50! What the hell kind of con game are you playing?!”

Me: “Umm, no. Half of $79.90 is $39.95. I just ran it through my calculator.”

Caller: “Hrmph. Fine, I’ll take that price. What’s my total?”

Me: *punching up the total* “After shipping, that comes to $49.90. How would you like to pay for that today?”

Caller: “WHAT?! There’s supposed to be free shipping! It’s right on your website; it says ‘free shipping for orders of $75 or more.’ I ain’t paying no $10 for shipping!”

Me: “Are there other items you’d like to order? Maybe we can bring this order up to where it quail—”

Caller: “No. This is all I’m getting. And you are waiving the shipping for me. I’m a first-time customer, and you’re gonna lose me if you don’t get rid of that shipping charge right now.”

Me: “I don’t have the authority to make that decision. Would it be all right if I put you on hold for just one minute while I ask my supervisor for permission to do that?”

Caller: “You ask whomever you need to, but I am not paying that shipping!

(I put the customer on hold and call the Assist line, which is essentially a group of supervisors there to answer questions when any call center agents need help.)

Assist: “Assist, this is [Supervisor].”

Me: “Hi, I have a customer on the line who wants me to waive shipping on a $39.95 order.”

Assist: “What all is on the order?”

Me: “Just [Popular Jacket]?”

Assist: “That’s already on a pretty steep discount. How’s their order history? Are they a regular customer?”

Me: “First time. And frankly, he’s being kind of combative about it.”

Assist: “No. He’s saving $40. We’re not waiving shipping.”

Me: “I thought so, but he was arguing enough that I kind of wanted backup.”

Assist: “Understandable. And I’m definitely backing you up. Tell him you don’t have permission. We’re already giving him 50% off; we’re not going lower than that.”

(I can almost hear the unspoken “we don’t need customers that petty” in her tone. I go back to my caller and tactfully explain that I did not get permission to waive the shipping fee.)

Caller: “Fine. You’re company is a bunch of greedy scam artists. I’ll just wait for it to go lower. Cancel the order. Goodbye!”

Me: *thinking to myself* “This is the lowest I’ve ever seen it go, and we’re selling out of things left and right. You’re going to be waiting a long time, buster! And you just gave up a $40 discount over $9.95.”

Related:
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 4
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability ToDiscount, Part 3
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 2