Category: Bad Behavior

You Need To Get Ovary It

| USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

(I’m a manager at a restaurant with a drive-thru. A customer pulls up to the speaker box and proceeds to tell the order-taker that she had come through last night and her three chicken sandwiches were cold. She says she spoke with a manager and was told to come by for a replacement. The company’s policy is just to replace the order with or without proof, so the drive-thru operator tells her to go ahead and pull around to the window. As the manager I verify that the replacement chicken sandwiches are fresh and hot and hand the bag out the window myself. As I’m about to tell her that I have made sure her sandwiches were fresh, she snatches the bag out of my hand and screams.)

Customer:  “What about my d*** fries and drinks?”

Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am, I didn’t realize you had wanted fries or drinks. What would you like to drink?”

Customer:  “[Soda]!”

(A minute later I hand her the fries and drinks. She starts screaming again.)

Customer:  “I DIDN’T WANT ICE IN THESE!”

(I make her three new sodas, the whole time staying calm and polite. I tell her to have a good day and apologize one more time for her cold food on her last visit. As she drives away the employee who took her order says:)

Employee: “I don’t know how you stay calm like that when those assholes are getting free food.”

(I shrug my shoulders and walk away. The phone rings and I answer it. Of course it’s the customer from the drive through screaming into the phone.)

Customer:  “I NEED TO SPEAK YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “Speaking. How can I help you?”

(She goes on to say that she had horrible service, girl at the window was rude, food was cold, etc.)

Me: “Ma’am, I handed out your order. I apologize if you thought I was being rude, but I can assure you the sandwiches and fries were hot and fresh. I verified that myself before handing you the order.”

Customer:  “I HAVE OVARIAN CANCER AND I EXPECT TO BE TREATED BETTER THAN THIS! This is horrible customer service!”

Me: “Ma’am, I apolo—”

Customer:  “YOU KNOW WHAT; I HOPE YOU DIE A VERY SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH FROM OVARIAN CANCER!” *click*

Employee: “Did she just say—”

Me: “—that she hopes I die from ovarian cancer? Yes.”

Paying The Price For Smugness

| USA | Bad Behavior, Hotels & Lodging, Money

(At our hotel, we have a little convenience store that people can choose snacks and bring them up to the counter to buy. We have a price list, but I’ve mostly memorized the prices.)

Customer: “I’d like this ice cream, please.”

Me: “OK, $3.”

Customer: “Are you sure? That’s a little much. Look in the price book, please.”

Me: “Okay…”

(Even though I have a line behind her and phone ringing, I check the prices while she stands there smug.)

Me: “Oh, sorry, it’s actually $4.50.”

Customer: “I’d like the $3.”

(I made her pay $4.50. She screamed obscenities, but too bad!)

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Bra-ce Yourself For This Customer

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(A woman comes in looking for something to make her “boobs pop!” on her wedding day. She’s wearing a push up bra already and is dissatisfied with her cleavage. As it’s for her wedding I suggest things like corsets, and suggest she add more padding if she wants even more cleavage. With every suggestion I make, her answer is “No, already tried that. Do you have something else?” all the while constantly pushing her boobs together and wiggling them in front of me while she’s asking her questions. At the time, silicone inserts are new to the scene. We call them “chicken fillets” amongst ourselves because that’s what they look like: raw chicken breast fillets. They are bits of silicone made to look and feel like part of a breast that you could insert into your bra for added cleavage. We don’t have any to sell but I explain to her what they look like and suggest she go down to a boutique lingerie store to get them. There is one less than five minutes walk away from us.)

Customer: “Sounds interesting but I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not like I’m going to go into a lingerie store and ask for chicken fillets! How do I know you’re not just saying it so I leave the store because you don’t want to help me and are sending me on a wild goose chase?! I don’t even know if what you’re talking about exists!”

(To prove I’m not making it up, I remember where we have a pair. They’re in the maternity bra on display on a mannequin.)

Me: “See that mannequin over there? She’s wearing a maternity bra. She’s the same size as all the other mannequins but as you can see, the bra is filled out and her breasts look bigger.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “That’s because there are silicone inserts in her bra. Looks pretty realistic right?”

Customer: “I want to see them.”

(I realise right then that I just made a mistake. The mannequin is quite high and I need to get a ladder to pull it down. What’s worse is it’s a display and property of the maternity bra brand, not our store. I explain why I can’t pull the thing down and the woman just stands there ignoring everything I’m saying and taps her foot waiting for me to take it all down to show her.)

Customer: “I want to see them.”

(I bite my tongue, find a ladder, pull the mannequin down, take out the insert, and show her. I tell myself I can put it all back together quite easily.)

Me: “Just remember, these aren’t for sale. They belong to this brand specifically and are for display purposes only. I’m just showing you so you know what they look like so you—”

Customer: “Oh, my god!! That’s EXACTLY WHAT I WANT!”

(Squealing in excitement, she grabs the insert out of my hand and puts it into her bra. Seeing her boobs are now lopsided, she takes the maternity bra out of my hand, pulls out the other insert, and shoves it into her bra on the other side, pushing her boobs together again.)

Customer: “They’re perfect! I’ll take them! How much?!”

(I’m speechless. I didn’t expect her to actually take them and shove them into her bra. I repeat that they’re not for sale, that they’re for display; I was just showing her what they looked like and that they do exist and if she wants to buy a pair, she’s better off getting a new one at the boutique store. She refuses and demands we ring up the bill.)

Customer: “Why would I look elsewhere when I know I can get them right here?”

(I tell her again that it is not possible for me ring up a bill to sell something the store doesn’t own and to kindly return the inserts. She refuses to take the inserts out of her bra knowing nobody can actually take them out without touching her breasts and she threatens to walk out of the store and take them for free if we refuse to sell them to her. This incident extends for over an hour, going back and forth. She asks to see the rep for the maternity bra and asks HER to take money. She can’t take money because they weren’t made by the brand she represents, they were provided to help display the maternity bra. My line manager gets involved; the one above her does, too. Security is asked to come down but cannot escort her out of the store until she pulls the silicone out of her bra and returns them. At this point, it’s a stand off. A rep from another lingerie company comes in and asks what’s going on. We explain to her.)

Rep: “We can’t sell you the inserts, darling, but I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll find you someone who can.”

(She calls the boutique store, the one that I had suggested the customer go to right at the beginning, and asks them to hold a box under the lady’s name.)

Rep: “There you go, sweetheart. There’s a brand new pair waiting for you on hold, at their store, five minutes away. If you don’t go now, you might not get it. They sell like hotcakes and they’ve only got two pairs left.”

Customer: *thinks about it, smiles* “Thank you.” *as if to say “Now that wasn’t that hard, now, was it?”*

(She pulls out the inserts from her bra and drops them into my hands (they’re disgustingly warm) and walks out of the store. I thank the rep and explain how I couldn’t understand why she didn’t go to the boutique store that I’d already suggested at the beginning.)

Rep: “Because people like that, darling, aren’t shopping. They’re out to torment people like you.”

Me: “Well, thank you. And thank God [Boutique Store] had them!”

Rep: “Yes, but if they didn’t, I would have told her they did anyway.”

Me: “But then wouldn’t she come back and complain?”

Rep: *giving me a wink* “Yes, but she wouldn’t have the inserts in her bra and security can walk her out.”

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Wish They Would Stay Hidden

| Boston, MA USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(My sister and niece are visiting, so the four of us take them to eat at a local restaurant. It is fairly late at night, 8:30 pm, and the restaurant isn’t terribly crowded. We sit down with our menus and start perusing them when we hear a small child with a very loud voice yelling.)

Child: “8… 9… 10! Ready or not, here I come!”

(It soon becomes apparent that four children under the age of five are playing hide and seek in the restaurant. They are running around the entire (thankfully half empty) place, hiding under tables and behind columns, practically doing laps, and counting at the top of their lungs. There are four adult women, presumably moms, who are chatting the entire time. They are done eating – check is on the table – but they sit there and chat for 45 minutes while their kids run around… and around… and around. One of them finally gets up, but it’s to take a picture of the kids hiding under a table, not to ask them to stop. When they FINALLY leave, we have a conversation with our lovely, patient waitress:)

Me: “Oh, my God, who lets their kids play hide and seek in a restaurant?”

Waitress: “You didn’t see the best part. One of their kids ran up to a table of strangers, stood right next to the table, and coughed all over their food. The other family was totally revolted – you could see it in their face. And the mom came over and TOOK PICTURES!”

(We left her a 20% tip just for having to deal with that!)

Giving Asthma Sufferers A Bad Name

| North Little Rock, AR, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Health & Body

(I am working at our main circulations desk when three gentlemen come off the elevator. One of them is slumped over and is being dragged by two men at his sides. The middle man is rasping and is semi slumped over.)

Me: “Sir, is your friend going to be okay? Should I call the ambulance?”

Patron #1: “No, he’s fine. He needs his inhaler, is all.”

Patron #2: “We live right around the block. I think he can make it.

Patron #3: *wheezing* “No…” *wheeze* “…ambulance…” *wheeze*

(I’m a little dubious, but all three of them seem unwilling for emergency help. That sends warning signals off in my head.)

Me: “All right, but let me know if you need any help.”

Patron #3: *drops to the floor* “Can’t… breath…”

(Patron #3 is having a lot of trouble breathing. The other two guys ask that I call 911. At one point during the call Patron #3 passes out and stops breathing. My manager rushes down stairs and directs the EMT to the patron.)

EMT #1: “Sir, they tell us you think you’re having an asthma attack. I have to sit you up for a bit.”

Patron #3: *wheezes* “I can’t sit up!”

EMT #1: “Don’t worry, I gotcha.” *sits [Patron #3] up*

(The EMT checks the patron out but declares he is not having an asthma attack.)

Patron #2: “What the f*** man! You scared the s*** outta us and you ain’t even having an asthma attack!?”

EMT #2: “You’re not having an asthma attack.”

Patron #3: *passes out again*

Patron #2: “Calm down man. It could be something else, we don’t know yet.”

EMT #1: *lifts patrons #3 hand and drops it* “Look, guys, he’s not even passed out. Normally if he was, his hand would fall, but before it hits his face it hovers mid air.”

(We all turn to watch as the EMT lifts his hand and drop it an inch from Patron #3’s face. Of course the hand hovers before he hits himself.)

Patron #2: “What the f***?!”

Patron #1: “You gotta calm down. We’re in a library!”

EMT #2: “Has your friend taking any medication or drugs recently?”

(Both Patron #1 and Patron #2 look back and forth between each other but neither wants to say.)

EMT #2: “We’re not the cops; we just need to know where we should go from here.”

Patron #3: *springs back to life* “I… NEED… OXYGEN… YOU… AIN’T TAKING ME!”

EMT #1: “You’ve got to calm down. We won’t take you anywhere you don’t want to go, but we gotta figure out what’s wrong with you first.”

Patron #3: “I got asthma, that’s what’s wrong! D*** doctors don’t know anything!” *wheeze*

(Patron #3 starts screaming randomly. The EMTs are getting frustrated at the whole group when Patron #2 finally gives them a little bit of information.)

Patron #2: “He’s been drinking all day.”

Patron #3: “Ain’t been drinking! I haven’t had anything to drink!”

Patron #1: “Don’t lie, man. These guys are here to help you.”

EMT #1: “Is that all he’s had today?”

Patron #2: “Well… he’s had [illegal substance], too.”

(Patron #3 stands up and starts swinging at anyone close to him.)

Patron #3: “Get off me man!”

(The cops arrive and try to calm the situation down.)

EMT #1: “Look, we can take him to the hospital right now. They’ll be able to give him something to get his breathing regular.”

Patron #1: “Yah, that sounds good. Come on, [Patron #3], let them take you in, man.”

Patron #3: *takes a seat on the stretcher* “I…” *wheeze* “ain’t…” *wheeze* “going to no d*** hospital!”

EMT #1: “All right, all right… fine. If you can get up and leave under your own power we won’t take you to the hospital.”

(They un-strap him from the stretcher, and we all watch as he stumbles out of the library.)

Manager: “What was he on?!”

EMT #1: “[Illegal substance]. It’s pretty strong stuff. You’re lucky; 90% of the time when we get a call like this they’re are naked, afraid, and running.”

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