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Category: Bad Behavior

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Monopolizing The Sofa Industry

| London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(I take my brother to the pub. He goes to get the first round, which includes a Coke.)

Brother: “Can I have [drinks] and a Coke, please.”

Bartender: “Is Pepsi okay?”

Brother: “Is Monopoly money okay?”

Bartender: “Right, get out. You’re barred.”

(He was allowed to stay after paying a fine into the tip-jar.)

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A Paper-Thin Reason To Be Angry

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am bartending and the only front-of-house staff member on a slow Friday lunch. A notoriously very picky customer comes in, and her mother joins her later. They both order a Greek salad, without telling me they mean to share it. I drop off the food when it is up in the kitchen, and when I check back on them this happens.)

Customer: “I can’t eat this; there is PAPER in this salad!”

Me: “Oh! Oh, wow, I’m so sorry about that, ma’am. Can I replace that for you?”

Customer: “No, no, just take it away. This is terrible.”

(Then I notice — her mother had scraped half the salad onto the bottom plate. At the restaurant I work at, specialty salads are served in a dish with a flat plate underneath, and we put a cocktail napkin on the flat plate to keep it from shifting. I immediately realize what has happened.)

Me: “Ma’am, I will replace this immediately but I can explain what happened…” *and do*

Mother: “Oooh… well, then, [Customer], we’ll just wait for another. I must’ve just—“

Customer: *in extremely condescending tone* “No, just take it away. I don’t want to discuss this any more.”

(I explain to my boss, the owner, what had happened and she tells me to take the salad off their bill so I do. Later when I drop the bill off…)

Me: “And I’ve taken that salad off your check, ladies. So sorry for the mix up. I hope everything else tasted all right.”

Customer: “UGH! That really wasn’t necessary!”

(I guess some people are never satisfied…)

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Come To Blows Over Mojitos

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am on bar and our TV has CNN on, at multiple customers’ requests. I am making a mojito when this happens.)

Customer #1: “What is that cocktail called?”

Me: “A mojito, sir.”

Customer #1: “Oh, one of them there foreign girly drinks.”

Customer #2: “Excuse me?”

(Customer #2 is a woman, but had ordered hers with double the amount of rum I usually put in it.)

Customer #1: “You heard me! Foreign crap! And all these immigrants need to go the hell home! Stealing American jobs!”

(I am of Southeast Asian descent and all my regulars know where I was born, ie. not America.)

Me: “Well, sir, I guess I’ll be off home, then!”

Customer #1: “Well… no, not you…”

Me: “Why not?”

Customer #1: “Well, you’re smart! I like you!”

Me: “Oh, thank goodness. I’m so glad I can stay! With my husband! And my green card!”

Customer #2: *as I hand her her mojito* “Hey, give him a taste of this.”

(I pour some into a rocks glass and hand it to Customer #1. He takes a sip and his eyes BULGE.)

Customer #2: “[My Name], my girly drink tastes fabulous!” *she makes a show of putting some money in my tip jar* “And you, [Customer #1], let me know when you’re getting your plane ticket back to Ireland.”

(They were all regulars and all knew each other. Customer #2 knew Customer #1 was of proud Irish descent and showed off every St Patrick’s Day. Customer #1 was completely quiet the rest of the time he was there, and left a decent tip. I bought Customer #2 a shot when Customer #1 had left.)