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Category: Bad Behavior

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What A Crappy Deal

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money, Popular

(I sell stuff at flea markets. A group of women, some with children in tow come up to me.)

Woman #1: “I’ll give you 5€ for that.”

Me: “No, the lowest I’d go is 15€.”

Woman #1: “But I don’t want to spend more than 5€.”

Me: “Then we won’t have a deal. Maybe you’ll find something similar at another stall for that price.”

(The group moves on and everything seems okay. Sometime later the group passes my stall again.)

Woman #2: “Excuse me, do you maybe have a spare table somewhere? I really need to change my baby and there is no changing room anywhere.”

Me: “I don’t have a table, but I could offer you the bed of my van. It is empty and reasonably clean.”

Woman #2: “Thank you. Don’t worry, I have a changing mat.”

(I opened the van and went back to my stall to give her some privacy. After a little while the woman finished, thanked me, and the group left. When my father went to close the van there was a giant turd on the loading platform, much too big to be the contents of a diaper. Apparently that woman had taken a dump in my van because I didn’t sell something to her friend for the price she wanted.)

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Can’t Scrub That Look Off Of You

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular

(Something about the way I look often makes fellow customers confuse me for a store employee. I’m walking with my wife through a store whose employees wear red and khaki. I am wearing light blue medical scrubs… A woman sees my wife walk away from me, walks quickly up to me, and nudges my left side with most of her body weight to get me to stop. She holds a sales flyer up to my chest, and talks demandingly.)

Customer: “Can you tell me why these things are-”

Me: *with a slight touch of attitude, pointing at my veterinary hospital’s logo* “I don’t work here…?”

(She then takes a step back, looks up and down my body twice, huffs loudly and rolls her eyes, then scurries away without another sound.)

Wife: *laughing* “Even in scrubs?”

Me: *laughing* “Even in scrubs…”

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An All-Consuming Customer

| NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular

(I work in the contact center for a window decor company. In my department, I only take calls from the retail associates at the big box home improvement stores that sell our blinds and shades. But every so often, a consumer (that being the person who actually buys the blinds and takes them home) sneaks into our queue, even though they have a separate line. We can answer general product questions for consumers, but per policy, anything more involved than that gets transferred to Consumer Services.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company]; what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I’m trying to find my purchase order number.”

Me: *thinking I’m speaking to a retail associate* “Okay, take your time! And who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?”

Customer: “No, I need you to give me the PO number.”

Me: “Well, do you have a sales order number? I can find it with that.”

Customer: “I don’t have anything!”

Me: “That’s okay. I can wait here while you flag your manager down if you need to get your paperwork together. And I’m so sorry; I didn’t catch your name—“

Customer: “Manager?! What the h*** are you talking about? I’m at home!”

Me: *slowly realizing* “Are you calling about some blinds that you bought, ma’am?”

Customer: “YES. And I called earlier and you said I needed a PO, and I don’t have one!”

Me: “That’s no problem, ma’am. We should be able to see it on the label. Do you have the blinds down where you can look at the sticker inside the top rail?”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: *repeats myself*

Customer: “I don’t have the blinds yet! That’s why I called you! I want to pay for them!”

Me: “I see. And what’s your name, ma’am?”

Customer: “It’s [Customer]! I ALREADY TOLD YOU! ARE YOU STUPID?!”

Me: *smiling like a maniac* “Okay, [Customer], what I’m going to do is transfer you to our Consumer Services department. They’ll be happy to help you access your account and pay for your order.”

Customer: “NO!”

Me: *stunned silence*

Customer: “YOU DO NOT TRANSFER ME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! I’VE ALREADY BEEN TRANSFERRED TO YOUR CONSUMER SERVICES DEPARTMENT THREE TIMES AND I DON’T WANT TO WAIT ON HOLD! I WANT TO PAY FOR MY ORDER NOW!”

Me: “I understand, [Customer], and I’m very sorry that you’ve had to wait, but the call volume over there is low and it won’t be a long wait. I’d do this for you myself, but this department only deals with contractors and retailers. Again, I do apologize for your trouble today. But if you’ll just bear with me—“

Customer: *abruptly hangs up*

Me: “—oooor you could just hang up. That’s fine with me, too.”

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I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 20

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Wild & Unruly

(My boyfriend and I are at a shoe store finding new sneakers for me. He is a police officer and is wearing one of his many shirts from the department.)

Me: “So anyway, what color looks better? The blue or the green?”

Boyfriend: “I like the blue.”

Customer: *seeming to randomly shout at us* “I NEED THESE IN A 7½!”

(We both look at a blonde-haired female pointing at the newest shoes.)

Boyfriend: “What?”

Customer: “Are you deaf? I WANT A 7½!”

Boyfriend: “What?”

Customer: “OH, MY GOD! JUST GET THESE FOR ME IN A 7½!”

Boyfriend: “Are you serious?”

Customer: “OH, MY GOD! ARE YOU A F****** DUMB A**? GET ME MY SHOES!”

Boyfriend: *pointing at his obviously police related shirt* “You seriously think I work here?”

Customer: “WHY THE F*** WOULD YOU BE IN A SHOE STORE IF YOU DIDN’T F***** WORK HERE?!”

Me: “Then why are you here?”

(By this point two sales associates have shown up and are trying to figure out what to say.)

Sales Associate: *wearing a very obviously different shirt than my boyfriend* “What’s the problem?”

Boyfriend: “She—“

Customer: “YOUR STUPID GUY OVER HERE WON’T GET ME SHOES!”

Sales Associate: “He doesn’t even work here. Can I get something for you?”

Customer: “WHY DIDN’T SOMEONE F***** TELL ME HE DIDN’T WORK HERE?!”

Me: “We tried, but I didn’t think you were as stupid as you really are. Apparently their shirts don’t tell you SOMETHING?”

Customer: “This is the worst service I’ve ever f****** had! F*** you guys.”

(The customer storms out.)

Me: “Soooooo…”

Boyfriend: “So, yes, sir. I’d still like to buy these shoes for my girlfriend.”

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 19
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 18
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 17

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Making A Big Deal Out Of No Deal

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular

(A woman comes to me with a doll in her hand and asks me for a price check. I take the doll and scan the barcode and, as I’m waiting for the scanner to load, she peers over my shoulder in the most invasive way possible.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Oh, the doll is on sale for $4.99?” *referring to the inventory price*

Me: “No, that is the price the store has purchased it for; the doll is $19.49.”

Customer: “So I can’t buy it for $4.99?”

Me: “No, the store wouldn’t get any money. That’d be bad business.” *we both chuckle and she walks away*

Customer: “What a shame. $20 is very expensive for a doll.”

(About five minutes later I get a call from the register asking for the price of the doll. I tell my coworker it is $19.49. Turns out the customer I just talked to INSISTS that I said it was on sale. I am dragged over to the front and we spend three minutes explaining that no such deal exists. Now there is a line, there are three employees trying to explain to her that she cannot get it for $5, and an additional two employees from the back working the extra registers to deal with the huge line.)

Customer: “Get me your manager.”

(After another two minutes.)

Manager: “Yes, what is this issue?”

(This circus ride goes on for another three minutes until she realizes that the manager is not going to budge and trusts me.)

Customer: “If it wasn’t on sale, he should’ve said something. I misunderstood and caused a scene. Sorry, I don’t want the doll anymore.”

(15 minutes, five employees, and a congested line, and we didn’t even get the sale. This was my worst memory because she was not woefully ignorant; she knew exactly what she was doing trying to get that deal.)

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