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Category: Bad Behavior

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Books With The Same Story Every Night

| UK | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Time

(It’s late on a Friday evening, near closing time, and the library’s empty. My coworker and I are discussing customers who dawdle at closing time in the various other branches of the library, taking FOREVER to select books and get them checked out.)

Coworker: “Sometimes I feel like they do it just to prove a point.”

Me: “I know! Thank goodness this branch is so quiet. Geez, imagine if someone walked through the door right as we were closing up?”

(Minutes pass, and seven o’clock gets ever closer; we tidy up and, in the final few minutes, shut off the computers. Then, right on the dot on seven, the phone rings.)

Coworker: “Oh, NO.”

Me: “You have got to be kidding.”

(I answer, hoping it’s from one of the other branches open this late.)

Me: “Hello, [Library].”

Caller: “Hello; I was wondering if you could find a book for me?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, madam, but we’ve just closed. The library opens again at nine tomorrow morning.”

Caller: “Oh, please, could you just check?”

Me: “Well, our computers have shut down for the night, so the only way I’d be able to find it would be by a physical shelf check. But I can make a note of it, so that we can look for it tomorrow and call you back as early as possible. What’s the name of the book?”

Caller: “I think it’s called Who Moved My Cheese? It’s a fiction book.”

Me: “And do you know the name of the author?”

Caller: “No, I’m afraid I don’t. Can’t you look it up?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. Like I said, the computers have shut down for the night, and won’t start up again until tomorrow morning. The program we use for managing our books is on those computers, so I can’t look for the book on the system to see if we actually have it, whether it’s on loan or where it might be, or whether any of the other libraries have it.”

Caller: “But couldn’t you look on the shelves?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. We’re officially closed; we’re literally just about to lock up and leave. A physical shelf check would take a fair while, especially since we don’t know the author’s name or what genre the book is. Again, I’ll make a note of your name and request so that we can look for it when we open tomorrow at nine.”

Caller: “Please, can’t you have just a quick check now?”

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, but we can’t. It’s now past seven. We need to go home. If you’ll give me your name, I promise we’ll look for the book as soon as we open tomorrow.”

(She finally gives me her name, very disappointed. I hang up and stare at my coworker.)

Me: “She must know what time we close. She MUST. Who DOES that? A minute or two before closing time, I get that, but right on the hour?”

Coworker: “Let’s get out of here before someone thinks we’re still open.”

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Got To Give Him Some Credit For Trying

| USA | Bad Behavior, Money

(I work in a call center for the largest cell phone provider in the US. A man calls in about overages on his bill, telling me a long story about how his ex-wife took his daughter and the phones and his daughter used all the data because she doesn’t understand. After some research, I can see that he has called in so many times about this charge that the system stopped recording notes. I offer him the same thing every previous agent has offered him, to waive half the charges, which would take nearly $75 off his bill.)

Customer: “That is ridiculous! What would it take to cancel all of my services?!”

Me: “Well, sir, it looks like all six of your lines are still under contract, which means they would all have early termination fees that would total out to…. $1,378.46.”

Customer: “And how would that be charged?”

Me: “It would be added to your current balance and presented to you in your final bill from [Cell Phone Provider].”

Customer: “Okay…”

Me: “The total of the final bill, including your current balance would be $1,994.76, sir.”

Customer: “And I could choose to pay that or not?”

Me: “Uh, any bill that you don’t pay will be sent to a collection agency, sir.”

Customer: “Well, she already ruined my credit anyway, so what does it matter?!”

Me: “…I can’t advise you to not pay your bill to [Cell Phone Provider], sir.”

(The customer eventually had me give him the originally offered credit, obviously intending to cancel on another call.)

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Doesn’t Have Gumption

Whangarei, New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I work in a supermarket delicatessen. My customer is a man wearing a “Bubba-Gump Shrimp Co” t-shirt, and it’s not long after ‘Forrest Gump’ came out at the movies.)

Me: “Hey, I like your shirt!”

Customer: “Well, it’s mine. You can’t have it!”

(Mental note: do not compliment customers’ attire in the future in case they think I want to take it…)