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Category: Bad Behavior

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This One Definitely Needs Decaf, Part 2

| WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

Customer: “Now I’m going to ASSUME you follow the corporate policy and you have to do a pour over for decaf?”

Me: “Yes, sir, but I’m happy to do one for you if you’ve got a minute!”

Customer: “I don’t HAVE a minute.”

Me: “Okay… well, I could do a decaf Americano for the same price instead!”

Customer: “Well, I COULD throw you out the window and see if you can fly but that wouldn’t be what you WANT, now would it?!”

Related:
This One Definitely Needs Decaf

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The Kind You Meet Down A Dark Bowling Alley

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Wild & Unruly

(My coworker, who is in high school and only on his third shift, and I close the alley at 10 and spend the next hour cleaning and closing up. At 11 pm, we lock the doors and start chatting about the night, when a car pulls up.)

Customer: “Are you guys closed?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we closed at 10 tonight.”

Customer: “Well, we want to bowl.”

(Both people from the car are now out and walking towards the door. Coworker and I are now next to our cars, getting ready to leave.)

Me: “Well, we’re closed now but will open again tomorrow at 10 am.”

Customer: “No, we want to bowl now. Get back in there and let us bowl.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t. All the machines are off, the computers are shut down, and the doors are locked. If you come back tomorrow, we are open until midnight.”

Customer: “Listen, b****, you aren’t getting it. You are going to open the f*** back up and let us in! We came here to f****** bowl and we are going to f****** bowl.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but we are CLOSED. We are currently going home so no, you are not bowling tonight. Please, just come back tomorrow and you’ll be able to.”

(This entire time, the customer’s friend has been staring at us, obviously getting angrier and angrier with every word. He has now moved so he is blocking my car door, so I cannot get in and he grabs my arm.)

Customer’s Friend: “OPEN THE F****** DOORS RIGHT NOW, YOU STUPID LITTLE W****! I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE CLOSED. WE CAME HERE TO BOWL AND YOU ARE GOING TO LET US F****** BOWL. DO YOUR JOB YOU LAZY PIECE OF S*** OR I WILL F****** MAKE YOU!”

(While the customers were busy berating us, they did not see the police officer who patrols our parking lot every night pull in and walk up behind them.)

Cop: “Let go of the girl’s arm and put your hands up NOW!”

(He arrested them both for being drunk in public and the friend for assault. We had to give statements and meet with the cops and management the next day to tell what happened and give them the security footage. We assured my coworker that this was a first time incident but I was still pretty surprised he came back!)

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Books With The Same Story Every Night

| UK | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Time

(It’s late on a Friday evening, near closing time, and the library’s empty. My coworker and I are discussing customers who dawdle at closing time in the various other branches of the library, taking FOREVER to select books and get them checked out.)

Coworker: “Sometimes I feel like they do it just to prove a point.”

Me: “I know! Thank goodness this branch is so quiet. Geez, imagine if someone walked through the door right as we were closing up?”

(Minutes pass, and seven o’clock gets ever closer; we tidy up and, in the final few minutes, shut off the computers. Then, right on the dot on seven, the phone rings.)

Coworker: “Oh, NO.”

Me: “You have got to be kidding.”

(I answer, hoping it’s from one of the other branches open this late.)

Me: “Hello, [Library].”

Caller: “Hello; I was wondering if you could find a book for me?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, madam, but we’ve just closed. The library opens again at nine tomorrow morning.”

Caller: “Oh, please, could you just check?”

Me: “Well, our computers have shut down for the night, so the only way I’d be able to find it would be by a physical shelf check. But I can make a note of it, so that we can look for it tomorrow and call you back as early as possible. What’s the name of the book?”

Caller: “I think it’s called Who Moved My Cheese? It’s a fiction book.”

Me: “And do you know the name of the author?”

Caller: “No, I’m afraid I don’t. Can’t you look it up?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. Like I said, the computers have shut down for the night, and won’t start up again until tomorrow morning. The program we use for managing our books is on those computers, so I can’t look for the book on the system to see if we actually have it, whether it’s on loan or where it might be, or whether any of the other libraries have it.”

Caller: “But couldn’t you look on the shelves?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. We’re officially closed; we’re literally just about to lock up and leave. A physical shelf check would take a fair while, especially since we don’t know the author’s name or what genre the book is. Again, I’ll make a note of your name and request so that we can look for it when we open tomorrow at nine.”

Caller: “Please, can’t you have just a quick check now?”

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, but we can’t. It’s now past seven. We need to go home. If you’ll give me your name, I promise we’ll look for the book as soon as we open tomorrow.”

(She finally gives me her name, very disappointed. I hang up and stare at my coworker.)

Me: “She must know what time we close. She MUST. Who DOES that? A minute or two before closing time, I get that, but right on the hour?”

Coworker: “Let’s get out of here before someone thinks we’re still open.”