Category: Bad Behavior

Only One A**-Hole Here

| Marina, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

Me: “Good morning, sir. Did you find everything all right?”

Customer: *grumpy* “I couldn’t find [Obscure Movie].”

Me: “Well, I don’t have access to our inventory system at the cash register, but if you’d like to head over to customer service, they’ll be able to help you.”

Customer: “Well, can you radio over to those a**-holes to see if they have it?”

(I wanted to help him, but at this point, he loses me.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but there is a line at customer service, so I can’t radio over and have you jump the other customers.”

Customer: *angry now* “Well then get one of those a**-holes on the sales floor to find it for me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but here at [Store], we don’t hire a**-holes. If you’d like, though, I can find a sales associate to help you.”

(The customer proceeded to turn bright red, slam the stuff he was going to buy on the counter, and storm out.)

Using Your Rights To Right Some Wrongs

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

(We kick out some teenagers who are kicking balls around the store. One teen kicks the ball so high it hits the lights and breaks them. As I am kicking them out, with security as backup, one of the teens says:)

Teen #1: “It is my God-given right to shop at [Store].”

Me: “And it is my law-given right to kick you out of the store for breaking store property. We can also involve the police, who also have the law-given right to charge you and arrest you. Would you like me to exercise those rights?”

Teen #2: “Uh… no.”

Me: “Then use your God-given legs and get out of my store.”

(My coworkers were trying to look threatening behind me but burst out laughing when I said that.)

A Very Heated Argument

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a pizzeria with a counter for selling individual slices. It’s late in the day but I still have four fresh pepperoni pizzas for sale. They just came out of the oven as per my request to the baker, to minimize the transition between lunch and dinner. It’s three pm and my coworker will be handling the counter when she arrives at four.)

Customer: *approaches the counter* “I’ll have four pepperoni slices and a [Drink]!”

Me: *inputs this into the computer* “That’ll be [price].”

Customer: *drops money into my hand* “Make sure they’re hot!”

Me: “The baker just made these.” *I carefully touch the pizza on top with my gloves on; it feels hot*

(I dish up the slices and get the customer his Drink from the fridge. The customer sits down to eat at a table, while I begin restocking the pop and juice in the fridge. The customer then screams at me and throws a slice of hot pizza at my head; luckily, I’m wearing a hat, but there is now cheese in my ponytail. I feel something hit the back of my head; the boiling hot cheese.)

Me: “Umm, can I help you?”

Customer: “These! Are! Cold!”

Me: *startled* “Um… umm.. sir… sir… actually… the cheese in my hair feels hot… ummm… and it really hurts.”

Customer: “I demand to speak to the manager!”

Me: “Actually… the owner is… right here.”

(The owner had been sweeping in front out the counter. He’s a short Italian man with a temper, but is always nice to me. He refers to all of the teenage and early twenty-year-old staff as “his kids.” He saw the whole thing.)

Owner: “Did you just throw a slice of pizza at one of my kids who was nothing but nice?”

Customer: *stammers* “But… she… It’s… It’s cold.”

Owner: “Get the f*** out of my restaurant.”

Customer: *scampers out*

Owner: *to me* “Go wash the cheese out of your hair; I’ll watch the front. You’re on break. And ya can’t let anyone talk to you like that!”

(I return from cleaning my hair and hat to find my food upstairs, paid for already. Apparently the guy came back to apologize and paid for my lunch!)

Double-Sided And Single-Minded

| Croydon, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Technology

(The library has several computers which you can book for up to two hours per day; if you want to print something it costs 12 pence per page. Members of the library can book slots for themselves via a terminal, but often if there’s a problem with their card they ask us to do it for them at the main desk.)

Customer: “Excuse me; can you book me onto a computer?”

Me: “Of course, madam! If I can have your card?”

(She gives it to me and I book two hours for her. Two hours later:)

Customer: “Can you help me?”

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “It’s charging me too much for double-sided.”

Me: “Really? Let’s see how many pages you’re printing.”

(I open up the option where we ‘release’ people’s printing jobs. The lady has a LOT of print-outs queued.)

Me: “Ah… well, to start with, for this one you’re printing five pages, so that would be sixty pence—”

Customer: “But I’m printing double sided. That’s only three pages.”

Me: “…I’m afraid that’s not how it works. You’re paying for the page, not the paper itself.”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to pay that! That’s why I’m printing double sided!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s how the computer processes the print job. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

Customer: “But I shouldn’t have to pay for five pages when I’m only printing three!”

Coworker: “Excuse me, but you ARE printing five. You’re really paying for the ink, not the paper.”

Customer: “Now you’re just confused. You don’t seem to understand what I’m saying.”

(She says this a few more times, but we eventually manage to explain to her how the system works, and she then proceeds to print off each batch of printing with no hitches — up until the end.)

Me: “All right, so, this last lot will be forty eight pence.”

Customer: “Oh. I don’t have that much change left. Oh, I really need that last one! It’s my CV.”

Coworker: “Well, we could always print it off and keep it for you until Monday when you can pay for it.”

Customer: “Oh, but I need it now!”

Coworker: “Then we can put a note on your account with the amount you owe us, and you can pay us when you next come in.”

(The customer suddenly looks very reticent and mumbles. My coworker and I share a glance.)

Customer: “Oh, um, I don’t have my library card on me today.”

Me: “Yes, you do. We used it to book you a computer earlier. Don’t you remember?”

(The customer looked very embarrassed as she handed the card over. Surprise, surprise. When we looked at her account there was already an outstanding printing charge from a few days ago. We said nothing to her but, while she was collecting her printing, we discretely blocked the card so that she won’t be able to use her account until the charges have been paid, and she can be ‘reminded’ of it and have it unblocked by another member of staff.)

These Customers Come At All Hours

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Time

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’ve been waiting for over an hour! Where’s my pizza?”

Me: “It’s on its way, sir.”

Customer: “Well, what are you going to do about it?”

Me: “About what, sir?”

Customer: “I’ve been waiting for over an hour!”

Me: “We won’t be doing anything. There’s no way you’ve waited that long.”

Customer: “WHAT?! ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?!”

Me: “No, sir, just mistaken.”

Customer: “And why’s that?!”

Me: “It’s 11:20, sir—”

Customer: “So?!”

Me: “We open at 10:30.”

Customer: *click*

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