Category: Bad Behavior

Already Covered In Enough Trash

| Riverbank, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(The guys responsible for herding and organizing the carts also empty the garbage cans near the entrance, usually by tying off the bags, putting them in a cart, and wheeling them through the store to the back. It’s not usually a problem, but on this day the bag broke and leaked stinky trash water all over the floor. I was on my hands and knees wiping up the spill when our store operator came over to me to say there was an insistent customer in my department: the lingerie department.)

Me: *wearing rubber gloves obviously soiled with trash remnants* “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for some lingerie for my wife and I want you to help me pick some out.”

Me: “Tell me more about what you’re looking for. A matched set, a nightgown, lace, satin?”

Customer: “Why don’t you tell me what kind of underwear you like?”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “She’s about your size; if you wanted to look real sexy, what would you wear?” *remember: I’m wearing trash-covered rubber gloves*

Me: “Sir, I can point you to different items in the department or help you get another size or color, but I can’t choose an item for you.”

Customer: “C’mon… I just want you to help me find something that would look good on a woman like you!”

Me: “Sir, I’m covered in trash juice and we have a main aisle blocked off waiting for me to clean it. If you need help finding something, you can talk to [Coworker] in the jewelry department.”

(I walked away while he contemplated the 6’2″, 300 lb worker at the jewelry counter. The last I saw of him he was scurrying away from my coworker muttering something about not needing any help.)

Has Some Bag Boy Baggage

, | UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry

(I have just been operated on to remove a cancerous tumor. It was a minor surgery, but the location of the incision made walking somewhat uncomfortable, so I use a cane for a few weeks. On my way back to the computer department from a break, a woman stops me…)

Customer: *speaking slowly, carefully enunciating every syllable, and condescendingly polite* “Excuse me, young man.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Can you find someone to help me? I need to pick up a ROU-ter. It’s a thing for my com-PU-ter.”

Me: “Sure! Do you—”

Customer: “Someone in HERE—” *gestures at the computer department* “—might know about it.”

Me: “Got it. Are you looking for a wired router, wired gigabit, wireless B, wireless G, or wireless N?”

Customer: “Oh. Oh!” *she suddenly speaks normally* “Oh, I’m sorry!” *she gestures to my cane* “I thought… I thought you were, like, just a bag boy or something.”

Me: “Right… Let’s go look at those routers.”

(After that, she was like any other normal customer. I didn’t bother to comment on her ignorant assumptions that using a cane or that having a job as a “bag boy” was an indication of a mental handicap.)

Sick Of Bad Parenting

| Ireland | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, History

(I occasionally help out in my mother’s salon at busy times like Christmas week. There is a bit of a lull one morning this year so I leave to run some errands just as a client arrives with her three young children. I missed the following occurring not even ten minutes later..)

Baby: *throws up*

Mom: *sympathetic* “Is she OK?”

Client: “She’s fine, just something she ate this morning.”

(Almost on cue, one of the older kids “projectile vomits” across the floor. The other one doesn’t look very well either.)

Mom: “I’m sorry, but you need to take them home. They’re all sick.”

Client: “But my hair…”

Stylist: “No, they’re sick and if we get sick, too, we can’t work. They have that stomach bug that’s going around and it’s really bad.”

Client: “But my husband won’t look after them. I need my hair done!”

Mom: “In Ireland, men mind children, too. If he lives here, he helps.”

(She reluctantly left. I came back to my mother bleaching everything the kids had touched or thrown up on, and thankfully none of us got sick. We were just so boggled about how anyone could take clearly sick kids out anywhere, let alone for something as silly as a hair appointment. The client even tried to get another appointment for the day after Christmas, when no salon will open…)

Enveloped In Holiday Spirit

| Wilmington, DE, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays

(I work for a local bank, and we give out free holiday money envelopes during November & December. We only get two boxes, so we limit five per customer to make the supply last. Most people understand while a few get bent out of shape. This customer is usually a grouch every time he visits.)

Coworker: “Okay, here is your cash. Can I help you with anything else today?”

Grumpy Regular: “Do you have any Christmas envelopes?”

Coworker: “Yes, how many would you like? I can give you about five.” *retrieves five envelopes, and hands them to him*

Grumpy Regular: “I need eight.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we have a limit of five per customer. We run out before Thanksgiving if we don’t.”

Grumpy Regular: “I ONLY WANT THREE MORE! I come to this branch all the time!”

Coworker: “I understand, but five is the limit.”

Grumpy Regular: *throws envelopes at my coworker* “YOU KNOW WHAT!? I’M SWITCHING TO [National Bank with terrible customer service]! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” *storms out*

Coworker: “Merry Christmas!”

(Thank God we ran out of the envelopes a few days later!)

Won’t Even Try To Un-butter You Up

| Santa Monica, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Holidays, Movies & TV

(I’m working concessions on Christmas Day and due to the release of about four new movies, we have four registers open with long lines on all of them. A woman and her daughter come up to my register.)

Me: “Hi. What can I get for you?”

Guest #1: *not looking at me and rambling rudely* “[Candy] and two water bottles.”

Me: *handing her what she ordered* “Here you go. Anything else?”

Guest #1: “No!”

Me: “Okay. So, [Candy] and two water bottles… Your total will be $12.27.”

Guest #1: *throws credit card on counter* “Here!”

Me: “Okay. Here’s your receipt. Enjoy your movie!”

(Guest #1 moves over to the side without taking her receipt and I start processing Guest #2’s order.)

Guest #2: “Hi! I’ll have a small popcorn and a sm–”

Guest #1: “Unbuttered popcorn!”

Guest #2: “–small diet [Soda].”

Me: *thinking the two guests are together and handing Guest #2 his order* “Okay. Your total is $11.23*

(I notice Guest #1 didn’t leave with the other guest and put it all together.)

Me: “Hi. Did you want a small popcorn?”

Guest #1: “ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR IT THIS WHOLE TIME!”

Me: “Well, I didn’t charge you for a popcorn. I can show you the receipt right here. If you want one I’m going to have to charge you for it.”

Guest #1: “THIS IS BULL-S***! I SHOULD BE GETTING THIS FOR FREE BECAUSE THIS IS YOUR FAULT! IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE SUCH A LONG LINE, I WOULD BE COMPLAINING TO YOUR MANAGER SO I GET A FREE POPCORN! THIS IS HORRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE! HERE!” *throwing her card at me*

Me: *bringing popcorn and swiping card dramatically* “That’ll be $6.09. Enjoy!”

Coworker: “D***… What a b****.”

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