Category: Bad Behavior


You Don’t Know Jack About Jackelopes

| Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

(The restaurant where I work is western-themed and a popular stop for tourists. I’m ringing a couple out at the on-site gift shop when the lady spots our stuffed Jackelope head mounted above the door.)

Lady: “Is that real?”

Man: “Of course it’s real. Look at it.” *he catches my eye and winks*

Me: *playing along* “Yeah, actually, [Founder] caught this guy out in the south field in the sixties.”

Lady: “Wow! You know I’m from [State] and we don’t have them there. I thought they were a myth!”

Man: “Probably because they look like regular rabbits from a distance, right?”

Me: “Yep. Right up until fall when the Jacks’ horns really come in. The does are harder to spot pretty much year round. Last year, I think, we had a four-prong Jack spotted on the property.”

Lady: “I guess you learn something new every day!” *she snaps a picture with her phone and begins to walk away* “I’m going to have to tell [Friend] that she was wrong…”

Me: *quietly to the man as he turns to follow her* “She’s going to kill you.”

Man: “Worth it.”


Me No Speak Estupido

| San Diego, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Language & Words

Me: “Good morning, [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, [My Name]. How are you?”

Me: “I’m well, and yourself?”

Customer: “Oh, my god, and you speak English properly! I’m doing amazing, thank you!”

Me: “…”


Crinkle Brain

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(My coworker and I teach art classes at a craft store. We are getting ready for a class when a customer pokes her head in the door and politely asks for help, acknowledging that we are busy. We of course say, “sure!” She is holding a packet of the crinkle stuff that is often used in Easter baskets or gift bags; picture something like confetti, but in long strips instead of little pieces.)

Customer: “Do you know how long each strip is?”

(I don’t know why customers think we have this information memorized. Well, it is in a bag all smushed up, so it’s hard to tell.)

Me: “We can open up the package and look.” *knowing that the package had a sticky closure that would seal right back up in case she didn’t want to buy it*

(I open it up and show her, then seal it again and hand it back to her. While I am doing that, she keeps asking very specific, weird questions that are either simple or impossible to answer, like asking if she can cut the strips smaller and how long that will take. It’s made of paper, so it is fairly self explanatory, I would think…. Then she says:)

Customer: “Thanks. But I do need one more thing from you. Show me where I got this from? I don’t remember.”

(Even though it is all the way across the store and we are busy with our class stuff, we agree. My coworker goes to show the lady and comes back fuming.)

Coworker: “That lady was f***** crazy!”

Me: “What did she do?”

Coworker: “The only reason she asked me to show her where that was is so she could get a new package because she didn’t want to buy the one you opened!”

Me: “Seriously?!”

Coworker: “Yeah, and she’s just going to take it home and rip it open anyway!”

(Mind you, I sealed it up almost perfectly to where you could barely tell it had been opened. And it was sealed completely so the item wasn’t in danger of falling out. I can understand if it was a gift or something, but it definitely wasn’t.)


All Wrapped Up In Karma

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m a customer in this story. I walk into the restaurant, a semi-fast food Middle Eastern place. There’s another man, shorter and maybe in his mid-50s, ordering. The single employee is making him a salad. Also note that it’s two-for-five-dollar falafel wrap day.)

Man: “Y’know what? I’ve decided that I’ll have a falafel wrap instead.”

(The employee is already halfway through making him a salad.)

Employee: *reluctantly scraps salad and starts making a wrap*

Man: “I want chickpeas on it, and — wait, where are those chickpeas grown?”

Employee: “Well, we’re sourced by other companies. I’m not entirely sure where the individual ingredients come from.”

Man: “Hmm, okay. What about that lettuce? There’s a bit of discoloration in that! How do I know that’s safe? I won’t pay full price for lettuce of that quality!”

(This all goes on for about fifteen minutes, asking detailed and accusing questions about each and every ingredient. After he finally finishes…)

Man: “And I also want red onions.”

Employee: “Um, sir, we don’t sell red onions.”

Man: “Sure you do! I saw them at your other location just last week!”

Employee: “Are you sure they were real?” *gestures towards the decorative basket of plastic veggies on the counter*

Man: “Yes, I’m sure! I saw them at your other location just last week! Give me my onions!”

(This goes back and forth a few more times. Finally, the man gives in.)

Employee: “And your total is $5.65.”

Man: “What?! That is way too much! Your sign says right up there that falafel wraps are half price on Tuesdays!”

Employee: “No, what that means is that you can get two for the price of one today. You could get another for free though.”

Man: “It’s all the same anyway! You get the ingredients dirt cheap. So just—”

(And then, instant karma strikes! The man quickly looked over to the other side of the street where his car was getting a ticket. Of course this guy wouldn’t even pay for parking!)

Man: “S***!

(He runs across the busy road to try to stop the ticket, almost getting hit by a car in the process, but ultimately failing to reach the officer in time. While he’s out there complaining to the officer, the employee and I both just start to laugh at this guy.)

Employee: “You know what? The thing is that normally people are in here for two or three minutes, so even if they don’t pay for parking, they don’t usually get caught. If they’re about to, I’ll warn them. But not this guy. That officer was there for a good thirty seconds before he noticed her.”

(The ending to all of this? The man didn’t even come back to get his wrap! So instead of an extra $2.50, he had to cough up anywhere between $30 and $300!)


Drive-Thru To The Explosive End

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(I work the graveyard shift and have to clean the whole store while still taking orders. We are trained to not sell at the window for safety reasons, since the area isn’t the safest place you can be.)

Man: *knocks on the window*

Me: *cracks it open a bit* “I’m sorry, sir, but I am not allowed to sell at the window.”

Man: “Why not? I’m a paying customer. I should be able to get my food!”

Me: “Sir, the drive-thru is for cars only. These are corporate policies…”

Man: “So you’re saying I can’t buy anything here right now since I don’t have a car?”

Me: “Yes, that’s exactly what I am saying.”

Man: “But I’m hungry.”

Me: “Sir, I told you I can’t sell at the window. I have stuff I still need to clean: my dining room, my fryers, my shake machine, bathrooms, and drive-thru, just to name a few. A few tacos to get written up seems hardly worth it; my boss has video cameras watching everything that goes on in case a customer causes a disturbance or if an employee tries to steal food or money.”

(I point to a camera which my boss has there just to deter people; it doesn’t actually work. I use this so I have an excuse to get back to cleaning.)

Man: “So you’re saying you just don’t give a f***, then?”

Me: “Well, I guess if you want to put it that way, then yes, sir, you’re describing that on point.”

Man: “Homie, I should just beat your a** right now.”

(I look at him with a straight face, then yell “HAHAHA” and close the window and put the metal napkin holders in front of it so he can’t open it, since it has no lock. I walk away, and as I’m walking away I hear him hit the window. My headset then dings indicating a car is coming to order.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Establishment]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: *sounds like he’s yelling from really far away* “Uh, yeah, you know your speaker is on the ground out here, right?”

Me: “W… what?”

(I told the guy to come up to the window so I could place his order because we could barely hear each other. I went outside and propped the speaker up against the menu board, with plenty of cursing to accompany it.)

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