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Category: Bad Behavior

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A Blessing In Disguise

| ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Religion

(I’m stocking bags of cookies, and a customer comes up to me.)

Me: “Hello, how are you doing?”

Customer: “I am so blessed, thank you. Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “What’s that?”

Customer: “Do you ever think, when you’re doing your job, about how your company profits from the deprivation of children in third-world countries?”

Me: *thinking* “Um… no, but I’m certainly thinking about it now!”

Customer: “I just want to know.”

Me: “Sir… if you object to our business practices you’ll need to take that up with the corporate office.”

Customer: “But it’s a simple question. Yes or no?”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

(When they start with “I’m blessed,” it never ends well.)

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Not Much Between His Headphones

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(Our policy in regards to returns without receipts is that anything over the value of $25 must have store director approval. They must also have an ID input into the system. Every store shares the same system, so when an ID is put in, we must write why and who approved it, same with if the return was denied. A male customer wearing shades walks up with his son who appears to be about six years old.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this. I need money for groceries.”

(He hands me a beat up box of wireless headphones. I open the box to make sure that everything’s there.)

Me: “Okay, did you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “Okay. Did you pay with a card?”

Customer: “Uh… no.”

Me: “Okay, let me call the store director for approval.” *on the phone with store director* “Hi, I have a customer here who wants to return some headphones without the receipt. It’s priced at $56.”

Store Director: “Get his ID and put it on a gift card.”

Me: “All right, no problem.” *back to customer* “All right, I just need your ID.”

Customer: “Uh… I left it in the car. I’ll be right back.” *he leaves for a second and finds it’s in his pocket* “Oh, I guess I had it.”

(I start typing in his information and I find out he’s returned several items to different stores. He was denied at the last store he tried to return at. So I reach for the phone to call the store director back to inform her when the customer stops me.)

Customer: “Is there something wrong?”

Me: “I’m not sure yet.” *calls store director* “Hey, so, he’s returned several items in the past and the last time he returned something he was denied by Asset Protection.”

Store Director: “Oh, then decline the return. It was most likely stolen.”

Me: “All right, thank you.” *I turn to the customer* “I’m sorry, but due to what the system has informed us, we cannot process this return.”

Customer: “Why not? You already opened the box. You have to!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I had to open the box to make sure that everything was there. The store director has denied the return.”

Customer: “But, you already opened it! I can’t sell this now!”

(After he left, my coworker and I informed our asset protection department of this customer. Turned out, he was on the surveillance camera for stealing those headphones yesterday.)

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Not Really Buttering You Up For Good Service

| Fair Oaks, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am taking an order from a table of four whom I have waited on only once before. Every single person at the table is allergic to at least one thing.)

Me: “For you, sir?”

Customer: “I’ll have the crispy salmon, but I just want it grilled.”

Me: “Crispy salmon, not crispy?”

Customer: “Yes, but listen, I can’t have ANY BUTTER. Have the chef grill it in olive oil, lemon juice, and capers.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll let him know.”

Customer: “Listen, instead of the mashed potatoes, I want a baked potato, with all of the fixings on the side except sour cream. I can’t have ANY SOUR CREAM.”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “Also, instead of the carrots, I want extra asparagus, but make sure they grill it in olive oil, maybe a little lemon juice if they want, because I can’t have ANY BUTTER.”

Me: “No problem. I’m sorry, just to clarify, you said you wanted the salmon grilled with olive oil, lemon juice, and what else?”

Customer: “Capers. Capers. You should seriously have this down by now. I order this every week. I guess you do need to go to school for this job.”

(I go to the kitchen and tell the chef.)

Chef: “Did you tell him we don’t carry butter?”

Me: “Yeah… I told him last week, too.”