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Category: Bad Behavior

Who’s Got The Power Now

, | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

Me: “How can I help you?”

Irate Caller: “Yes, I just purchased one of your wireless routers and your stupid tech support in India just told me I have to plug it into an outlet.”

Me: “Uh… yes, ma’am. It needs to be plugged into an outlet to get electrical power.”

Irate Caller: “I purchased a WIRELESS router, so it shouldn’t require wires! Doesn’t it use batteries or something?”

Me: “No, ma’am, ‘wireless’ means you don’t need wires between the computer and the router.”

Irate Caller: “Wireless means WIRE-LESS! If this thing has to be plugged in with a wire, I want a full refund!”

Me: “If the product isn’t what you expected, I suggest you return the device to your local retailer.”

Irate Caller: “NO! That’s not good enough! They won’t take it back because it’s been opened! I want you to give me a refund!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t provide refunds unless a product’s functionality is grossly misadvertised. You need to speak to–”

Irate Caller: “NO! You’ll give me a refund right now, you f***ing son of a b****, and you’ll do it right f***ing now!”

Me: “Ma’am, throwing a temper tantrum like a five-year-old is not going to get you something that we’re incapable of giving you.”

Irate Caller: “You can’t speak to me like that! Transfer me to your manager at once!”

Me: “No.”

Irate Caller: “What?”

(Contrary to popular belief, most companies don’t REQUIRE techs to transfer to supervisors simply because they’re told to by a customer).

Me: “I said no. I will not transfer you to my supervisor. This is a non-escalatable issue.”

Irate Caller: “But you have to!”

Me: “No, I really don’t, and since you already blasted me with profanity, technically I could have disconnected the call already.”

Irate Caller: “Well, I’m sorry…Can I have my refund now?”

Me: “I told you, I can’t give you a refund for this product. You need to contact your retailer.”

Irate Caller: “F*** you! You f***ing ****ards are ripping me the f*** off! F*** you!”

Me: “Thank you for contacting tech support and have a nice day!”

Irate Caller: “Wait! I’m sorry!”

Me: *click*

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Ignorant Of Your Ignoring

| Louisville, KY, USA | Bad Behavior

(Part of my job involves greeting customers and touching back with them to make sure they’re able to find what they were looking for. I also have to ask them about opening store charge card which is as awkward for me as it is for them. Most of the customers are polite and good-natured about it.)

Me: “Oh, good afternoon, ma’am! What brings you in today?”

(The customer is already walking in the other direction. This happens sometimes since sometimes my voice can be kind of soft, especially when we have several customers coming in over a short period of time, so I just assume she didn’t hear me and think nothing of it. Later, I find her browsing in my zone while I’m touching back with customers.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am, are you finding everything all right?”

Customer: “Hm.”

Me: “Will you be shopping with our store charge—”

Customer: “I don’t like this kind of service. I thought I made that clear when I ignored you at the door!”

(I’m so stunned that I can’t say anything as she walks out the door. I turn to see one of my coworkers and another customer staring after her in surprise.)

Coworker: “Woah.”

Customer: “But… you were just doing your job, weren’t you?”

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The Wheel Always Comes Back Around

| Charleston, SC, USA | Bad Behavior, Transportation

(I’ve been a bicycle mechanic for over 10 years and have heard my share of JRAs (I was Just Riding Along when my frame broke in two… etc), but this customer stands out for some reason. He enters the service door with a bike he has purchased from us, clearly agitated.)

Me: “Yes, sir, how can we help you?”

Customer: *mumble* “Warranty work…” *mumbles* “…shoddy workmanship…”

(He kind of mumbles this under his breath as he keeps striding up to the service area, and then actually pushes the bike into me, physically. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s pretty aggressive.)

Me: “I’m sorry; you’re having an issue with the bike? What’s going on?”

Customer: *grunts and points toward the rear wheel*

(I kneel down and notice that both the brake arm and the housing for the three-speed hub are disconnected, meaning the bike cannot shift or brake. These are the two things you would need to unfasten to remove the rear wheel, by the way.)

Customer: *scowling and standing over me as I kneel* “You ever hear of Loctite?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I have heard of Loctite.”

Customer: “Well, maybe you should USE some.”

Me: *incredulous* “Sir, I’ve been doing this for 10 years. This is my job. The brake arm already uses a nylock nut. Anyway, it looks like the shift pin’s fallen out, too. Let me see if I have a spare.”

(This gives me a chance to go in the back and look for the part, and for him to get out of my face and cool down. Since I was 99% sure this was a case of him (or someone else) removing the rear wheel and then being unable to reinstall it, I thought I’d offer him some tips.)

Me: *wheeling the bike out of the service area* “Well, I got it all hooked back up. Thank goodness I did have one of those pins.”

Customer: *silent, pensive, already looking a bit sheepish*

Me: “It’s the darndest thing, really, for both that housing bolt and the brake arm to have loosened up at the same time, but they’re both up to proper torque now. I can’t imagine that happening again. If for some crazy reason that housing does loosen up, or if you’re removing the wheel, take care not to lose or bend that shift pin though. Anyway, I’m sorry you had to deal with this, but of course that’s why we offer a warranty on all new bikes for the first year. If there’s anything else you need or if something goes out of adjustment, don’t hesitate to bring it back.”

Customer: *mumbled thanks*

Me: *cheerily* “…and have fun out there!

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You’ve Got Zero Ground To Mock Ground Zero

| NJ, USA | Bad Behavior

(I worked at my parent’s local general store when I was young, around 15. Note: Our parents are some of those who responded to 9/11 and all of us lost family members, like my aunt. It’s a very personal topic. The following takes place at our little 9/11 memorial shelf, which I’m restocking.)

Customer: “Why are they making such a big deal out of 9/11? It’s not like it happened here!”

Me: “Ma’am, our parents are ones who responded to 9/11… We only live an hour or two away from New York!”

Customer: “Oh, sweetie, 9/11 was nothing! The government makes a big deal out of everything!”

(Having not had to deal with bad customers since, I’m not used to this b**** and begin to tear up.)

Me: “Ma’am, my auntie was killed being on the thirtieth floor when the first plane flew in. My father, just two aisles away, was a responder only thirty minutes after it happened and saved three people, with my mother and me, at one year old, worrying at home! My best friend lost his big sister! Please, if you’re going to disrespect our country, leave!”

(She turned white-faced and went to leave, but was stopped by my muscular dad who threatened to call the cops. We haven’t seen her or her out-of-state car again!)

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In Line And Out Of Line, Part 16

| Temecula, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(A customer goes into the wrong line to do a return. She is a woman older than I and has with her a young girl, probably her daughter. While taking care of a layaway, I ask the lady if she is in line for a layaway, which is what the line is for. The following exchange ensues:)

Customer: “No, it is for a return.”

Me: “This line is for layaways only; the other line is for purchases and returns.”

(She immediately starts screaming at me.)

Customer: “I HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY TO THE BACK OF THAT LINE?!?”

(The line has 2-3 customers, all with small purchases.)

Me: “That is the purchase and return line.”

Customer: “One of your employees told me that returns go to this line!”

Me: “Well, I can take you after this person.”

Customer: *whispering venomously to me* “I’ll make a scene, and you don’t want me to make a scene.”

(So I beat her to the punch.)

Me: *yelling* “Ma’am, I ALREADY told you I would go ahead and take you after this customer. This is the layaway line, and that is the purchase and returns line. I am doing you a favor.”

Customer: *in shock, quietly* “Thank you.”

(I finished up the layaway with the very nice lady I had been joking with before and took self-righteous return lady. She started up again, this time in a much more polite manner, telling me how she was told that that was the return line. I said nothing to her the entire transaction, so she stopped talking. I handed her the receipt without words, put back on my customer service face, and politely called the next person that had been in line longer than she had. I told my supervisor about it later, and she said, “Good for you. Do not let them run you over.” I just feel sorry for the kid.)

Related:
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 15
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 14
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 13

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Friendship Is Tragic

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(A frequent customer who bears a striking resemblance to Liza Minnelli will constantly call our jewelry department and ask vague questions. She has a distinctive voice and particular cadence when she speaks so you always know it’s her on the phone. Around Christmas, we receive this call:)

Me: “Jewelry Department, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Not-Liza: “Do you… do you have jewelry boxes?”

Me: “Yes, we have an assortment of jewelry boxes. Are you looking for anything specific?”

Not-Liza: “I want… a jewelry box.”

Me: *knowing that she has a young daughter* “Are you looking for a little girl’s jewelry box?”

Not-Liza: “Are they pink?”

Me: “We have a few different types.”

Not-Liza: “Do you have… one with princesses on it?”

Me: “No, but we have a My Little Pony—”

Not-Liza: “I don’t want the My Little Pony!”

Me: “Well, we have the My Little Pony—”

Not-Liza: “I don’t WANT the My Little Pony!”

Me: “I’m trying to tell you what all we have.”

Not-Liza: “What DO… you have?”

Me: “We have ones with ballerinas, some that are sparkly, and… the My Little Pony—”

Not-Liza: “I DON’T WANT THE MY LITTLE PONY!”

(Two hours later my coworker and I spot her in the store, with a beautiful My Little Pony jewelry box nestled in her cart.)

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