Category: Bad Behavior

Who’s Got The Power Now

, | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

Me: “How can I help you?”

Irate Caller: “Yes, I just purchased one of your wireless routers and your stupid tech support in India just told me I have to plug it into an outlet.”

Me: “Uh… yes, ma’am. It needs to be plugged into an outlet to get electrical power.”

Irate Caller: “I purchased a WIRELESS router, so it shouldn’t require wires! Doesn’t it use batteries or something?”

Me: “No, ma’am, ‘wireless’ means you don’t need wires between the computer and the router.”

Irate Caller: “Wireless means WIRE-LESS! If this thing has to be plugged in with a wire, I want a full refund!”

Me: “If the product isn’t what you expected, I suggest you return the device to your local retailer.”

Irate Caller: “NO! That’s not good enough! They won’t take it back because it’s been opened! I want you to give me a refund!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t provide refunds unless a product’s functionality is grossly misadvertised. You need to speak to–”

Irate Caller: “NO! You’ll give me a refund right now, you f***ing son of a b****, and you’ll do it right f***ing now!”

Me: “Ma’am, throwing a temper tantrum like a five-year-old is not going to get you something that we’re incapable of giving you.”

Irate Caller: “You can’t speak to me like that! Transfer me to your manager at once!”

Me: “No.”

Irate Caller: “What?”

(Contrary to popular belief, most companies don’t REQUIRE techs to transfer to supervisors simply because they’re told to by a customer).

Me: “I said no. I will not transfer you to my supervisor. This is a non-escalatable issue.”

Irate Caller: “But you have to!”

Me: “No, I really don’t, and since you already blasted me with profanity, technically I could have disconnected the call already.”

Irate Caller: “Well, I’m sorry…Can I have my refund now?”

Me: “I told you, I can’t give you a refund for this product. You need to contact your retailer.”

Irate Caller: “F*** you! You f***ing ****ards are ripping me the f*** off! F*** you!”

Me: “Thank you for contacting tech support and have a nice day!”

Irate Caller: “Wait! I’m sorry!”

Me: *click*


The Pipes To Their Brain Must Be Blocked Too

| Wauwatosa, WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Non-Dialogue

The public bathrooms at the store I work in have stopped working. Apparently, the sewage is backing up. Not a pretty sight. Or smell.

Because of this, my managers make d*** sure no one is getting in, so they put up chairs and baskets and signs that say “Bathroom Out of Order” all over. The entire area is blocked off with rope and chairs.

Funny enough, two people force their way through only to be greeted by the wonderful aroma of backed up pipes.

We told you they were closed, but you didn’t listen. They then had the audacity to tell us that we weren’t clear enough!


Type 1 A**-Hole

| At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I work as a cashier at a fairly high-end grocery store, meaning that for the most part, the patrons are wealthy, and the food is pretty overpriced. We’re currently raising money to help kids with Type 1 diabetes. This is what happened when I asked a customer for a $1 donation. Keep in mind that his purchase was upwards of $300.)

Me: “Sir, may I ask if you’re interested in donating one dollar to-”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: *assuming he’s hard of hearing, or simply missed what I said* “I’m sorry, I was just asking if you’d be willing to donate one dollar for children with-”

Customer: “Oh, I heard what you said! I just don’t have that kind of money. Not all of us are trust fund babies, hun!”

Me: *finally taking the hint* “All right, sir, your total is $355.55.”

Customer: “Are you trying to make me feel like a selfish pig? Because it sounds like you’re demeaning me right now. I could have you fired for this.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir. I just wanted to let you know that you can swipe your card now.”

Customer: “You do realize that this cart is full of necessities, right? My family would die without these groceries.” *in fact, his cart is full of junk food*

Me: “Of course, sir. Have a great day.”

Customer: “Well, now that you’ve made me feel like a a**hole, I don’t feel like enjoying my day anymore. I can’t believe this.”

Me: “…”


Coffee Is Brewing And So Is Trouble

| Tampa, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a customer standing in line behind an elderly couple while they place their order with the cashier. I’m already quite annoyed since the lady held up a line of people outside in the tropical storm so she could stand in the doorway and shake off her umbrella until she was satisfied it was dry enough. Then, the man held up the line while he tried to decide what he wanted, but refused to lose “his place” in line. Finally…)

Cashier: “Okay, Mr. [Customer], your total is [amount]. Will that be for here or to-go?”

Husband: “For here! Always for here! Here is all we get!”

Wife: *pacing the counter over and over* “Where is the coffee? Why is there NO coffee for us?”

Cashier: “It’s brewing, ma’am. The customers before you took the last of it. I will be glad to bring it to your table once it’s ready. It won’t be long.”

(The cashier turns around to start toasting their bread and getting things ready for them.)

Husband: *leans over the counter* “Let me see the bread slices.”

Cashier: *holds up the slices* “Are these okay?”

Husband: “Let me see the other side!”

Cashier: *still holding them up, she turns the slices around for him to inspect the other side, still smiling*

Husband: “That is NOT toasted! Run them through again!”

Cashier: “I assure you, sir, they will be crispy. Our toasters are designed to not burn the bread, but they are toas—”

Husband: “AGAIN!”

Cashier: “Of course! I just want to make sure you understand they could get burnt if they go through again. It’s a set time; I can’t take them out sooner.”

(The husband grumbles and the cashier places the slices back in the toaster, giving the rest of us a “Sorry” look.)

Wife: *still pacing the counter* “They don’t have ANY coffee! No decaf, nothing! I can’t believe this. They know we come here; it should always be ready.” *she grabs a young male cashier that’s mopping nearby* “Young man, is that coffee brewing? We ARE waiting, you know.”

Cashier #2: “Yes, ma’am! It’s nearly done.” *walks off to the back as quickly as he can*

Cashier: *hold up the toast slices* “I’m sorry, they’re a bit black now, is this okay?”

Husband: “Fine. They’ll do. Next time don’t burn them, just toast them! Where is the coffee? My wife wants her coffee. You know we come here. Only here!”

Customer Behind Me: “Heaven help them, then…”

Wife: “This is ridiculous. Everyone is being so rude.” *yelling across the cafe at another worker that is wiping down counters* “HEY! [CASHIER #3]! HELLLOOOO? [CASHIER #3]! HELLLOOOO!”

(Cashier #3, a young girl, closes her eyes and lets out a sigh before turning to them, smiling.)

Cashier #3: “Hello Mr. and Mrs. [Customer]! That coffee will be right out, I promise you. I just checked on it.” *walks in the back as quick as she can, while the original cashier gives her a look of desperation*

Wife: “GOOD! At least [Cashier #3] is doing her job today! She’s our favorite. The only one we like.”

Cashier: *places the toast and their creamers on a plate and holds them out to the husband* “All set! I’ll go check on the coffee for you and bring it right out! Okay? It should be done.”

Husband: “TWO plates! ALWAYS TWO plates!”

Cashier: *still smiling and pleasant while she splits the toast and creamers evenly on two plates* “Of course, sir. I forgot. Please have a seat and I’ll—”

Wife: “We will wait RIGHT here! Do you understand me? It makes you work faster if we wait, you know. You guys are so lazy! Is the coffee done YET?!”

(I have FINALLY had enough, I’ve been in line so long that I’ve dried off from the heavy rain and need to get to work.)

Me: “NO! You will not! These people have done everything and more to give you great service! You need to get out of my way so I can order my food and get to work. This is enough already! MOVE! Right now! I mean it!”

Customer Behind Me: “Absolutely! I agree! Or I’ll move you myself, understand? You have done nothing but abuse these people! I’m SICK of it and I’m SICK of you!”

Cashier: “I’m so sorr—”

Me: “No, please don’t apologize to anyone in here. You have done nothing to be sorry for.”

Wife: “You people are SO RUDE! We are just trying to get our food and they’re so lazy! They didn’t even make our coffee!”

Customer Behind Me: “Shut up, you witch! MOVE. You have exactly five seconds before I do it myself. One… Two…”

(The couples eyes go wide and they both FINALLY shuffle out of the way all while grumbling about being cut in line and demanding their coffee.)

Cashier #3: “Can we come out now? Is it safe? I am SO switching my shift to nights! They know my NAME now!”


Giving The Customer A Good Mall-ing

| Memphis, TN, USA | Bad Behavior

(A sales specialist and a new trainee are working the last hour of their shift. Their store is attached to a shopping mall, but has multiple independent entrances. The mall has been closed for ten minutes, but the department store is still open for another hour. The large, cage door at the mall entrance has been closed. Multiple announcements were made regarding the closing of the mall doors. The specialist is folding clothes while the trainee is ringing up a female customer.)

Trainee: “[Specialist], this customer has a question that I’m not sure how to answer. Can you help me?”

Specialist: “Of course!” *the specialist turns to the customer* “What is your question, ma’am?”

Customer: “Can you tell me how to get out of this store?”

Specialist: “Sure! What department did you come through when you entered?”

Customer: “The shoe department at [Store that is on the opposite side of the mall]. Can you open the door to the mall so I can leave?”

Specialist: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t open that door once it’s locked. It’s a safety issue and a loss prevention issue.”

Customer: “Then how the h*** am I supposed to get to my car? This is ridiculous!”

Specialist: “Ma’am, our managers made announcements every five minutes for the last thirty minutes announcing that the mall door would be closing promptly at nine pm. Once those doors are closed, we cannot open them until the following business day. We gave more than enough warning that the doors would be closing.”


Specialist: “[Trainee], please call [Manager] and see if she can open the mall door.”

(As the trainee calls the manager, the specialist can hear the customer muttering to her friend, who just walked up to the conversation. The two women can be heard saying degrading things about the specialist and how the store seems to only hire idiots.)

Trainee: “[Manager] wants me to bring them up to the main office so that they may assist in the situation.” *he turns to the customers* “If you’ll follow me upstairs, please.”

Customer: *to the specialist, obviously pleased to be personally escorted to meet with the managers* “If you weren’t such a b****, you’d know that THIS is how to treat a customer.”

Trainee: “Now, ma’am, that wasn’t necessary. [Specialist] informed you of our store policy. Our manager made multiple announcements about the doors closing. The only reason she wants to speak with you is because you obviously didn’t understand when [Specialist] told you, so she thinks that our security guards may be able to explain it in a way you’ll understand. Now, those mall doors will remain closed until tomorrow morning. How you get back to your vehicle is up to you.”


Caught Red-Solo-Cupped

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(A family has just finished checking out their smaller-sized order and left their shopping cart in front of the u-scan. I don’t want to take care of the cart just yet, but decide not to ignore it when I see they also left an empty drink cup in the seat.)

Me: *follows them out the door with their cart* “Hey, guys, did you want your drink?”

Woman: *stops and stares at me* “Oh yeah, um, thank you.” *reluctantly takes her empty drink cup and walks away*

Me: *cheerfully* “You’re welcome! You guys have a good night!”

(It was so awkward, but so worth it!)

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