Category: Awesome Workers

Very Sharp Humor

| Awesome Workers, Bizarre

(I’m the cashier. In the middle of scanning and bagging various items for a guest, she asks if I have scissors to remove a tag. I look at her, and just let my eyes glaze over, and drop my voice a bit.)

Me: “I’m sorry, they don’t let me play with sharp pointy objects anymore.”

(The customer actually stepped back a bit, and I smile.)

Me: “No, really. We can’t have blades or sharp things on the checkout lane; you’ll have to go to customer services to get them to cut off your tags.”

(I did that line several more times over the years and the hardest part was keeping a straight face. Freaked people out every time I could pull it off!)

Has Confidence In Your Network

| USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Technology

Customer: “I cannot get on VPN.”

Me: “Okay, do you have any error message?”

Customer: “Hang on a second. First I have to connect to Wi-Fi right?”

Me: “Yes, that would help for sure.”

Customer: “How do I do that? Shall I click on that bars icon?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Now I have a list of possibilities. Which is correct, [his, not very common, last name]’s network?”

Me: “That sounds like the one.”

Customer: “Now it says ‘connected’. What is next? Internet Explorer?”

Me: “Yes, and then go to VPN landing page.”

Customer: “Oh, is it [exactly correct URL]?”

Me: “Yes, that is the one.”

Customer: “Now what? It is asking for user name and password. Is it [correct ID] and [correct type of password]?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Oh, it says that I’m connected to VPN. Thank you very much for your help.”

Me: “No problem, sir. I just do not know what should I put in your ticket.”

Customer: “Oh, put there that I just needed some confidence.”

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In Spitting Distance Of Being An A**-Hole

| Dallas, TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(Two teenage couples come into my section to eat. The two guys order full meals, one of the girls orders a glass of water, and the other orders a side salad. I have been joking around with the two guys, but the girls have given me nothing but icy stares and short answers. Another waiter delivers the food and forgets to bring the salad. I come up to the table.)

Me: “How is everything?”

(The girl who ordered the salad looks at me and throws her hands up in the air.)

Me: “Oh, no, it looks like my colleague forgot your salad. I’ll be right back.”

(I retrieve the salad quickly and return it to the girl. As I set it in front of her:)

Girl: “God, what took so long?”

Me: “The cooks weren’t finished spitting in it yet.”

(Her eyes just about popped out of her head and the guys just started laughing. Luckily the guys paid and tipped well.)

Time To (Funny) Face The Customers

| Canada | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior

(I work at a racetrack serving betters in the restaurant on race nights. We have several regulars who come in every race night. Two in particular, a husband and wife, are very sweet. All of the staff, including managers, restaurant staff, and the employees in my department, love them for being so kind. I have the pleasure of serving them every single race night, so I have gotten to know them and can get away with joking around with them. On one particular race night, I jokingly made a funny face at the man as I approached their usual table.)

Man: “Be careful! My mama said that if you make a funny face, you’ll get stuck like that!”

Me: “Well, I can see you never listened to your mama.”

(His wife broke out laughing and he gave me a high five for my quick come back. To this day we still enjoy making fun of each other.)

Doesn’t Take A Rocket Scientist

| Marion, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Popular

(A woman comes in with young boy, maybe six years old.)

Customer: “Do you have any cardboard you could give me? If you have any rocket ship sized boxes, we’ll take one of those.”

(The boy rolls his eyes.)

Boy: “Grandma!”

(I go into the back and see what I can find, and I come back with about twice what she asked for.)

Me: “The only rocket ship I have left is the size of a refrigerator.”

(Before anyone can say anything else, the boys eyes light up and he shouts.)

Boy: “I’ll take it!”

Customer: “We have no way to get it home; it’s too big.”

Boy: “I’ll ride on top of it and hold it down until we get home!”

(Long story short, today I got to “sell” a little boy the best rocket ship ever, and they’ll be in with a truck to get it. Every once in a while, this job is great.)

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