Category: Awesome Workers

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Trying To Give The Waitress (Bread) Schtick

| Norman, OK, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Popular

(I’m the customer in this story. I’m out to dinner with friends at an Italian restaurant famous for their breadsticks. I’m in a good mood and like interacting with the staff at restaurants.)

Waitress: “Hello, everyone, I’m [Waitress] and I’ll be serving you tonight. What can I get you to drink?”

(We place our drink orders.)

Waitress: “Can I get you any appetizers?”

Me: “I don’t think so, but we definitely want the breadsticks. The breadsticks are the bomb. They’re the reason I come here.”

Waitress: “Not the excellent service?”

Me: “Depends on how many breadsticks the waitstaff brings me.”

(We all laugh and my friends roll their eyes at me. I’m known to make terrible puns and bad jokes with the wait staff, so they figure this is just another one of those times. The waitress comes back.)

Waitress: *places two baskets of breadsticks on the table* “Technically I’m not supposed to do this, but here’s two baskets. Don’t say you didn’t get the best service from me!”

Me: “Why, thank you so much! These are awesome! Someone’s looking for a good tip!” *winks*

Waitress: *grins back* “Just doing my job.”

(After we finish our dinner, we ask for to-go boxes.)

Waitress: *to me* “Wow, looks like you didn’t eat much of your food! Not terribly hungry?”

Me: “Well… you brought us so much bread.”

(Everyone laughs.)

Waitress: *after a pause* “Okay, that’s it! No dessert for you tonight!”

(She comes back and gives us our to-go boxes.)

Waitress: “Would anybody like dessert?”

Me: “Oh, not me. I ate too—”

Waitress: “Oh, not you. You don’t get dessert, remember? You just sit in your little corner there.”

Me: *sheepishly turns to the wall trying to act pouty*

(In the end we all had a good laugh and a great time at dinner. I left her a hefty tip for playing along.)

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Don’t Scratch The Body

| Crystal City, VA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Transportation

(I am the customer, picking up a rental car. The clerk has a trainee who is doing the looking-for-damages walk around the car.)

Trainee: *opens trunk* “No dead bodies!”

Me: “Is that an extra cost option?”

Trainee: “Not if you bring it back in the same condition.”

Me: “I’ll do my best…”

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I’ll Drink Outside To That!

| CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Popular

(I’m at the renaissance festival with my wife and her friend. I have just purchased a cup of ale and the two ladies want to go into a costume shop to see what is for sale. They have a sign, not only on the pillar, but also on a table outside the shop which reads “Please leave your food and beverages here or outside while shopping!” I stop before going in and my wife calls out to me.)

Wife: “Something wrong?”

Me: “Not at all. I’m going to wait outside. They don’t want me coming in with a drink, cuteness.”

(All of a sudden, three women, all in costume come RUNNING out of nowhere from inside the shop and stop in front of me.)

Me: “Uh…”

All Three Ladies: “HUZZAH FOR THE READER! HUZZAH! HUZZAH! HUZZAH!”

(My wife, her friend, and I start cracking up as they clap.)

Me: “Well, the sign is pretty big and specific.”

Lady #1: “Oh, you wouldn’t believe how many people miss that.”

Lady #2: “Yesterday we had a man come in with orange juice. A kid ran by, smacked his elbow, and he ended up buying a $3,500 costume!”

(I blink, not realizing things in the shop were so expensive.)

Me: “Well… as much as I do want to get my wife a costume, I’d rather get one she wants!”

Lady #3: “And in the right size… and the right color…”

Me: “And not $3,500! No offense!”