Category: Awesome Workers

Almost Having A Senior Moment

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Awesome Workers

(I’m working the register on Senior Discount Day. For some reason they made the age for “seniors” pretty young (55) which results in some odd looks when we ask if customers qualify, something we are required to do.)

Me: “So that will be [total]. Oh, wait! Do you qualify for our senior discount at 55?”

Lady: “Uh, no. I’m close though, I guess.” *jokingly offended* “Do I look like a senior to you? Why would you ask me that?”

Me: “Sorry, gotta ask everyone!”

Lady: “But still…”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m supposed to ask everyone who isn’t a teenager. And I think even you’d agree with me that you can’t pass for 18.”

Lady: *said between laughs* “That’s a good one!”

Buy Him A Hot Slice Of Karma, Part 2

| CA, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

(It’s my last few days as a shift manager for a national pizza chain, so my filter is off because I know I won’t be fired. One of the order takers calls me to the phone, saying the customer on the line wants to talk to a manager.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Are you the manager?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Customer: “I wanted to complain about my pizza! It was terrible!”

(He goes on a rant about how every time he orders from us, the pizza is awful and why can’t we get it right? I break in long enough to get his details and pull up his account and see we’ve given at least a dozen free pizzas after he’s complained.)

Customer: “And I’m never ordering another pizza from you guys ever again!”

Me: “All right, that sounds fine to me. Thank you. Goodbye.” *I start to hang up*

Customer: “Wait, wait! Don’t hang up on me!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t think there was anything else I could help you with.”

Customer: *sputtering* “Well, aren’t you even going to offer me a free pizza credit for next time?!”

Me: “And call you a liar? Sir, I would never! You said you weren’t ordering from us ever again, and I believe you. Bye!”

(I hung up. Best interaction I ever had while working there.)

Related:
Buy Him A Hot Slice Of Karma

Very Sharp Humor

| Awesome Workers, Bizarre

(I’m the cashier. In the middle of scanning and bagging various items for a guest, she asks if I have scissors to remove a tag. I look at her, and just let my eyes glaze over, and drop my voice a bit.)

Me: “I’m sorry, they don’t let me play with sharp pointy objects anymore.”

(The customer actually stepped back a bit, and I smile.)

Me: “No, really. We can’t have blades or sharp things on the checkout lane; you’ll have to go to customer services to get them to cut off your tags.”

(I did that line several more times over the years and the hardest part was keeping a straight face. Freaked people out every time I could pull it off!)

Has Confidence In Your Network

| USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Technology

Customer: “I cannot get on VPN.”

Me: “Okay, do you have any error message?”

Customer: “Hang on a second. First I have to connect to Wi-Fi right?”

Me: “Yes, that would help for sure.”

Customer: “How do I do that? Shall I click on that bars icon?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Now I have a list of possibilities. Which is correct, [his, not very common, last name]’s network?”

Me: “That sounds like the one.”

Customer: “Now it says ‘connected’. What is next? Internet Explorer?”

Me: “Yes, and then go to VPN landing page.”

Customer: “Oh, is it [exactly correct URL]?”

Me: “Yes, that is the one.”

Customer: “Now what? It is asking for user name and password. Is it [correct ID] and [correct type of password]?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Oh, it says that I’m connected to VPN. Thank you very much for your help.”

Me: “No problem, sir. I just do not know what should I put in your ticket.”

Customer: “Oh, put there that I just needed some confidence.”

In Spitting Distance Of Being An A**-Hole

| Dallas, TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(Two teenage couples come into my section to eat. The two guys order full meals, one of the girls orders a glass of water, and the other orders a side salad. I have been joking around with the two guys, but the girls have given me nothing but icy stares and short answers. Another waiter delivers the food and forgets to bring the salad. I come up to the table.)

Me: “How is everything?”

(The girl who ordered the salad looks at me and throws her hands up in the air.)

Me: “Oh, no, it looks like my colleague forgot your salad. I’ll be right back.”

(I retrieve the salad quickly and return it to the girl. As I set it in front of her:)

Girl: “God, what took so long?”

Me: “The cooks weren’t finished spitting in it yet.”

(Her eyes just about popped out of her head and the guys just started laughing. Luckily the guys paid and tipped well.)

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