Category: Awesome Workers

They’re Tree Stumped

| San Diego, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(I’m the oblivious customer in this tale. There is a park in Old Town, San Diego that has many beautiful trees. I had walked into the information center to ask if they knew what kind of trees they were.)

Me: “Oh, I see you’re with someone. I can wait.”

(I proceed to stand at the desk while she helps the other customer.)

Employee: “Okay. What can I help you with?”

Me: “Yes, that really big tree out there. You wouldn’t happen to know what kind of tree that is, would you?”

Employee: “Well—” *pointing to the prominently displayed information card laid out literally underneath my elbow* “—according to the guide here, it’s a ficus.”

Me: *chuckle* “I couldn’t see the flyer for the trees.”

No Need To Get Alarmed At Security

| Kitchener, ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(As I am leaving Major Retailer, the alarm goes off. I immediately pull my cart back from the doorway and turn to the associate stationed there to monitor the alarms. She asks me to come over to the side so she can check my purchases for a “decoding error.” I figure it is probably the computer speakers I have just picked up – it certainly isn’t the bags of chips from the grocery department.)

Security: “No need to be nervous. This happens all the time.”

Me: *smiling* “Oh, I’m not nervous. I know I didn’t steal anything.”

Security: “Oh, thank heavens. So many people get upset when this happens.”

Me: “Well, I know it’s not your fault, and I’ve worked retail before so I know what those customers are like.”

(She checks my receipt and tests the speaker box, which does indeed set off the alarm again, and makes a note for management to explain the alarm, then wishes me a good night.)

Me: “Have a good night yourself, and hopefully you won’t get yelled at before your shift ends.”

Security: *laughing* “I’ll be happy if I don’t get yelled at for ten minutes, because that would make a new record for today!”

I’ve Come As The Mommy

| Lakewood, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Holidays

(I go into a burrito restaurant on Halloween, where they are offering burritos for three dollars if you come in costume. I am not wearing one. When I get up to the register, the following exchange occurs:)

Cashier: “Aww, you aren’t wearing a costume today!”

Me: *looking down at my sweater and old jeans* “Yes, I am.”

Cashier: “What are you supposed to be?”

Me: “A mom with depression who hasn’t eaten anything in two days?”

Cashier: *with a knowing smile* “Your total is three dollars.”

The Joke Worked Overtime

| Leeds, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers

(I’m a volunteer at a charity shop, and am working the till when a couple come in. The man trips over a piece of furniture we have on display.)

Woman: *jokingly* “You’re wrecking the place!”

Me: *in the same tone* “Be careful. If you break anything you have to work it off. That’s what happened to me.”

Man: “Really?”

(We all laugh and they browse the shelves for a bit. As they are leaving they pass my till.)

Man: *leaning over and asking very seriously* “Do you really have to work here because you broke something?”

Woman: *giving him a pitying look* “I think she was joking…”

Me: “Yeah, I was just kidding.”

Man: “Oh, right.”

(They leave, the woman giving me a long-suffering look as she does so.)

Got Some Paprika In Her Pants

| Bismarck, ND, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior

(A woman and her son approach my counter, which is currently surrounded by other customers waiting patiently during the start of the busy holiday season.)

Woman: *pushing past everyone else* “Do you have [six-year-old game]?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m afraid we don’t. I can double check our website after I finish with this gentleman to see if it available online.”

Woman: “God-d*** it! This is why I don’t shop here. You’re all lazy f***s! Won’t even go look for one simple f****** game!”

Me: “Do you have paprika in your kitchen?”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “Do you have paprika?”

Woman: “What the f—”

Me: “You see, you know the answer because you take care of your kitchen. You stock your kitchen. You clean your kitchen. You own your kitchen. It is the same here for me and our video games. I know we don’t have it because I haven’t stocked it. In addition, [Game] came out a year before our store opened. I offered to look it up on our website, which would also tell us if a nearby [Chain] store has it in stock; if you don’t want me to do so, a simple ‘no thanks’ would suffice.”

Woman: *as she storms off* “F*** YOU!”

(Her antics turned the calm queue into a shoving match to get in front of the line since ‘she got help before everyone else.’)

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