Category: Awesome Workers

I’ll Take It Black Death

| Columbus, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Puns

(I am the customer in this story. I walk into my local coffee shop this morning and notice that one of the menu TVs is showing a Blue Screen of Death.)

Me: “I wasn’t expecting to see that on your menu.”

Barista: “Yeah, we have a new Blue Screen of Death Latte. It tastes like a burnt out computer.”

Me: “Mmm… Silicon Dioxide.”

Barista: “Yummy.”

Sorry Not Sorry

| Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(I have come to a department store to return some things I ordered online. I gave myself plenty of time since I know the process is probably a little complicated and this is a busy store. I approach a service desk in the women’s clothing department.)

Employee: “Hello!”

Me: “Hi there! I have a pile of online orders to return. Is this the right place to do that?”

Employee: “Oh. Um… I’m not sure how to do that. This is only my second day. Is it okay if I walk you over to another desk?”

Me: “Sure! No problem. Sorry to be complicated.”

Employee: “Sorry about that. I wish I knew how to help you.”

Me: “It’s fine, no problem. I have plenty of time.”

Employee: “Okay, the desk is right over here. Sorry again.”

Me: “It’s perfectly okay! I totally understand.”

Employee: “Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Me: “Look, it’s really fine. I promise. I am not in the least put out. You did fabulously.”

Employee: “Oh! Well… wow. Thank you for being so nice about it!”

Me: “Of course. Like any decent human being with half a brain could be upset about something like that.”

Employee: “Sorry, I’m just not used to people being nice… Everyone else I didn’t know how to help has yelled at me…”

(I do NOT miss working in retail, because of horrible, selfish people who yell at associates for things far beyond their control. I hope that employee had a better day!)

Putting Him At Trees

| Cornelius, OR, USA | Awesome Workers, Holidays, Religion

(I am a cashier at a department store where we sell a little bit of everything. I work over in the Home department which includes Garden. It’s around 10 pm and just a few days until Christmas when I have this man come through my line with a Christmas Tree.)

Me: “Hi! Did you find everything all right today?”

Customer: “Yeah. I bet this is something you’ve never seen before. A Jewish man buying a Christmas tree.”

Me: *I look at him, not realizing he is Jewish, and then look at the tree and shrug* “No one said you had to get the tree to celebrate Christmas. I read somewhere that in Europe, in a country where the sun doesn’t come up for months at a time, that they would bring the trees into their house and decorate them with ornaments and candles because they knew that they wouldn’t see the light or nature again for months. And that’s where the Christmas tree supposedly comes from.”

Customer: *he stared at me and then grinned* “Wow! That actually makes me feel a lot better! Thanks!”

Unhappy Holidays, Part 6

| AR, USA | Awesome Workers, Holidays

(I’m working the cash register at a shop that generally caters to Pagan practitioners, although we have a lot of customers around the holidays who come in for things like dream catchers and little statues for gifts. I finish ringing up an older lady wearing a crucifix necklace.)

Me: “Happy holidays!”

Customer: “It’s MERRY CHRISTMAS. Why can’t you just say Merry Christmas?”

Me: “Well, a good number of our patrons don’t celebrate Christmas. Since we and our customers celebrate a variety of holidays we—”

Customer: *interrupting me* “They’re just trying to take away our religious freedoms! I don’t care what anyone else celebrates; they can celebrate it in Hell. Until then, it’s ‘Merry Christmas.'”

Me: “You know what? Now that I think about it… instead of catering to someone else with different beliefs than mine, I should stick to my guns and speak what I know in my heart to be true. If anyone has a problem with the holidays I celebrate, that’s their problem, not mine.”

Customer: “Exactly!”

Me: “You have a blessed Yule, ma’am.”

(She glared at me and stormed out.)

Related:
Unhappy Holidays, Part 5
Unhappy Holidays, Part 4
Unhappy Holidays, Part 3

It Was A ‘No’ Brainer

, | ID, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(During a financial rough patch, my Internet service is disconnected for late payment. I call to see if I could get an extension.)

ISP Rep: “Thank you for calling [ISP].”

Me: “Yes, hello. My Internet was disconnected due to a past due balance. I was hoping you might be able to turn it back on. I get paid on Friday and can pay the bill then.”

ISP Rep: “I’m sorry, but without a payment we cannot reinstate service.”

Me: “Well, that sucks. Figured it was worth a shot. Okay, then, thank you.”

ISP Rep: “Okay? What do you mean Okay?”

Me: “Well, you agreed to provide me a service, and I agreed to pay for it. I failed to live up to my end of the deal, so you stopped providing your end. Fair enough. It sucks for me, but I’ll call back on Friday and get the bill paid and have my internet turned back on.”

ISP Rep: “Hmm. Sir, can you please hold?

Me: “Sure, I guess.”

(The rep puts me on hold for about five minutes and then returns.)

ISP Rep: “Sir, I’ve turned your Internet back on, but you have to promise me you will absolutely pay that bill on Friday, or else I’ll be in a lot of trouble.”

Me: “Sure, I will absolutely do that. Thank you very much, but if you don’t mind my asking, what changed?”

ISP Rep: “You are the first person in three months to not yell at me when I’ve told them ‘no’ to something.”

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