Category: Awesome Workers

Back To The Uber

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Geeks Rule, Transportation

(A large group of us are going from a house party to a club, so we order two separate Ubers. My group gets into the second Uber just as the first one is pulling away.)

Me: “Driver! Follow that car!”

Uber Driver: “Awesome! I’ve always wanted someone to say that!”

(We pull away and start following our friends in the first Uber.)

Uber Driver: “So, why are we following them?”

(My three slightly tipsy friends and I all answer simultaneously.)

Friend #1: “Kidnapping.”

Friend #2: “Terrorists.”

Friend #3: “Aliens.”

Me: “Time Travelers.”

Uber Driver: “So… time-traveling alien terrorists have kidnapped someone?”

Me: “That’s right!”

Uber Driver: “Well I have a flux-capacitor in the back!”

Me: “But this isn’t a DeLorean!”

Uber Driver: “Yeah, Uber wouldn’t let me use the DeLorean for fear I would get the passengers to their destinations before they even left their point of origin. Temporal paradoxes and all that. But I still have the spare flux-capacitor, so don’t tell them!”

Me: “Your secret is safe with us.”

Uber Driver: “So shall we time travel to stop the evil alien time-traveling terrorists from their fiendish scheme?”

Friend #1: “I see a problem with that plan.”

Me: “What’s that?”

Friend #1: “Good luck hitting 88 mph in downtown San Francisco…”

The Magic Words Magically Appearing

| Canada | Awesome Workers

(I’m the caller in this situation, having just been told by a collections agency that a mobile account from 2011 has an outstanding balance. After a day or two of getting bounced around I finally get this representative:)

Representative: “So what I’m seeing here is that you there was a system error that made us think you were still on contract when you cancelled the number, and we billed you a $300 dollar cancellation fee. This fee was invalid.”

Me: “Oh, so we’re clear?”

Representative: “Not quite, sir. In Canadian law, you have only 90 days to dispute charges or they will stick. I cannot change the account now. What do you think of that?”

Me: “Oh, so I’m stuck with the charges?”

Representative: “Let me restate, sir. I cannot change the account. What do you think of the situation?”

Me: *starting to catch on* “Well, it doesn’t seem all that fair to me, but the law is the law…”

Representative: “I sympathize, sir. And I cannot change the account. What might you ask?

Me: *eureka moment* “Well. I suppose I would need to talk to someone who could change the account.”

Representative: “For example, sir?”

Me: “Well, someone higher up, perhaps a supervisor of yours?”

Representative: “So you would like to escalate to a supervisor?”

Me: “Yes, I suppose I would.”

Representative: “Those are the magic words, sir. Just a moment.”

(Everything was taken care of within five minutes. Thank you for putting words in my mouth, representative bro.)

Won’t Be Tricked Out Of His Treat

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I am shopping with my parents at a home improvement store during the Halloween season. There is a skeleton on display that has candy on it.)

Dad: *reaches for candy*

Mom: “Don’t take that! It’s for display!”

Dad: “It looks like samples to me.”

(We head to the cash registers to make a purchase. A woman who appears to be the manager is with the cashier.)

Dad: “Just curious, is the candy on the Halloween display free?”

Manager: “I would expect…”

Dad: *to Mom* “Ha! I told you!”

Mom: “You gonna go back and get some?”

Dad: “Nah.”

Manager: “I’ll go get you some.”

(The manager actually goes and gets us some candy.)

Dad: “Thank you!”