Category: Awesome Workers

New Sales Announced On Wikileaks

| Norway | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(A customer is looking at a particular item, and wants to know the price.)

Me: “That’s 99 kroner.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s a bit pricey I think..”

Me: “It’s a secret but I’ll tell you. This item is coming on half price on Monday, you could come back and make a good deal on it.”

(The customer starts looking around and acting like I just told her a national secret wondering if anybody else heard it.)

Customer: “Okay, thank you! WHOOPS!” *whispers* “T-thank you!”

(She ran out before I could say anything else.)

Caller Bit Off More Than He Could Chew

| Australia | Awesome Workers, Rude & Risque

(I work in a medical research institute, and the colleague sitting next to me handles recruitment for a large trial, so her name and phone number are on all the promotional material we hand out. She has a beautiful phone manner and I’ve never heard her say a harsh word to anyone. The phone rings.)

Colleague: “[Discipline] Research Centre, this is [Colleague]. How may I help you?”

(Pause.)

Colleague: *sweetly* “Well, sir, if you shoved you big throbbing c*** in my mouth, I’d bite it off. Will that be all?”

A Very Scrambled Shortbus

| IL, USA | Awesome Workers, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m the a**-hole in this story. After drinking far too much, a bunch of buddies and I go to this breakfast place. I don’t really want to go, but my buddies insist, so I am barely awake when the waitress comes up to us.)

Waitress: “All right, fellas, what can I get for you?”

(My friends order, then she gets to me.)

Waitress: “And for you?”

Me: “Hmm?”

Waitress: “Food? Mouth? Yours. You know. Restaurant stuff.”

Me: “Oh! Right, sorry. Eggs and bacon, please.”

Waitress: “How you want those eggs, hon?”

Me: “Orange juice.”

Waitress: “Oh… ‘shortbus.’ Your name’s ‘shortbus’ now. I’ll be back with your Orange Juice Eggs.”

Me: “Oh, god! No! Scrambled! I meant scrambled!”