Category: Awesome Workers

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I’ve Come As The Mommy

| Lakewood, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Holidays

(I go into a burrito restaurant on Halloween, where they are offering burritos for three dollars if you come in costume. I am not wearing one. When I get up to the register, the following exchange occurs:)

Cashier: “Aww, you aren’t wearing a costume today!”

Me: *looking down at my sweater and old jeans* “Yes, I am.”

Cashier: “What are you supposed to be?”

Me: “A mom with depression who hasn’t eaten anything in two days?”

Cashier: *with a knowing smile* “Your total is three dollars.”

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The Joke Worked Overtime

| Leeds, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers

(I’m a volunteer at a charity shop, and am working the till when a couple come in. The man trips over a piece of furniture we have on display.)

Woman: *jokingly* “You’re wrecking the place!”

Me: *in the same tone* “Be careful. If you break anything you have to work it off. That’s what happened to me.”

Man: “Really?”

(We all laugh and they browse the shelves for a bit. As they are leaving they pass my till.)

Man: *leaning over and asking very seriously* “Do you really have to work here because you broke something?”

Woman: *giving him a pitying look* “I think she was joking…”

Me: “Yeah, I was just kidding.”

Man: “Oh, right.”

(They leave, the woman giving me a long-suffering look as she does so.)

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Got Some Paprika In Her Pants

| Bismarck, ND, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior

(A woman and her son approach my counter, which is currently surrounded by other customers waiting patiently during the start of the busy holiday season.)

Woman: *pushing past everyone else* “Do you have [six-year-old game]?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m afraid we don’t. I can double check our website after I finish with this gentleman to see if it available online.”

Woman: “God-d*** it! This is why I don’t shop here. You’re all lazy f***s! Won’t even go look for one simple f****** game!”

Me: “Do you have paprika in your kitchen?”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “Do you have paprika?”

Woman: “What the f—”

Me: “You see, you know the answer because you take care of your kitchen. You stock your kitchen. You clean your kitchen. You own your kitchen. It is the same here for me and our video games. I know we don’t have it because I haven’t stocked it. In addition, [Game] came out a year before our store opened. I offered to look it up on our website, which would also tell us if a nearby [Chain] store has it in stock; if you don’t want me to do so, a simple ‘no thanks’ would suffice.”

Woman: *as she storms off* “F*** YOU!”

(Her antics turned the calm queue into a shoving match to get in front of the line since ‘she got help before everyone else.’)

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Not Always King or A Royal Pain In The A**    

| Wilrijk, Belgium | Awesome Workers

(The dutch equivalent of “the customer is always right” is the equally annoying “customer is king.” I’m shopping food with my girlfriend when this short but sweet exchange takes place.)

Angry Old Lady: “Customer is king.”

Girlfriend: *makes proper bow* “Welcome to democracy, your highness.”

(She shut up after that.)

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Almost Having A Senior Moment

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Awesome Workers

(I’m working the register on Senior Discount Day. For some reason they made the age for “seniors” pretty young (55) which results in some odd looks when we ask if customers qualify, something we are required to do.)

Me: “So that will be [total]. Oh, wait! Do you qualify for our senior discount at 55?”

Lady: “Uh, no. I’m close though, I guess.” *jokingly offended* “Do I look like a senior to you? Why would you ask me that?”

Me: “Sorry, gotta ask everyone!”

Lady: “But still…”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m supposed to ask everyone who isn’t a teenager. And I think even you’d agree with me that you can’t pass for 18.”

Lady: *said between laughs* “That’s a good one!”

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