Category: Awesome Workers

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I Don’t Work Here, Repeatedly Does Not Work Here

| Jensen Beach, OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Technology

(I’m in town for a business meeting and I pop into an electronic store across the street from the hotel I’m staying in. I’m not wearing store colors or even the khakis and polo uniform, but I am dressed in business attire. I’m standing in the aisle looking at picking up a new video card when a woman approaches me with her young teen sons in tow.)

Mother: “Sir… Sir, can you tell me if this video card will be good enough to handle my son’s new game?”

Son: “It’s [Game].”

(I look around and realizing that all the staff in the area are busy I go ahead and take a look at the video card.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, if I remember the game’s requirements right, this video card will certainly do the trick, but I seem to have noticed that they have this one—” *I pick another one off the shelf* “–that is better and because it’s on sale, cheaper.”

(As she goes about her way, a second customer steps up to me.)

Other Customer: “Sir, I need help finding more RAM.”

(Seeing once again there is nobody around to help…)

Me: “Well, do you know what kind of RAM you’ll need?”

Other Customer: “Umm… no? Is there more than one kind?”

Me: “Yes and while they do carry RAM here, unless you know the model of your computer or better yet, motherboard, there’s no way to be sure you’re getting the right stuff.”

(She promises me she’ll get the computer’s model and come back later. This happens a couple more times and as I have literally nothing better to do and the store seems unusually busy, I go ahead and help them, never ONCE claiming to work there. This keeps on until a fifth person steps up at the same time a manager steps up to me.)

Customer: “So… I noticed you said ‘they.’ You don’t actually work here do you?”

(The manager speaks up before I can say anything.)

Manager: “No, he doesn’t but I feel like I should be slapping a polo on this guy. [Employee] over there will be happy to help you though.”

Manager: *to me* “So… you need a job?”

Me: “Hah, no, I’m only in town for business, I’m just looking at video cards to kill time.”

Manager: “Well, lemme know if you pick one out; we’ll give you the employee discount for today.”

(We both had a good chuckle about that but when I checked out, true to his word, the guy stopped the sales clerk to make sure I got the employee discount.)

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 22
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 21
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 20

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I’ll Take It Black Death

| Columbus, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Puns

(I am the customer in this story. I walk into my local coffee shop this morning and notice that one of the menu TVs is showing a Blue Screen of Death.)

Me: “I wasn’t expecting to see that on your menu.”

Barista: “Yeah, we have a new Blue Screen of Death Latte. It tastes like a burnt out computer.”

Me: “Mmm… Silicon Dioxide.”

Barista: “Yummy.”

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Sorry Not Sorry

| Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(I have come to a department store to return some things I ordered online. I gave myself plenty of time since I know he process is probably a little complicated and this is a busy store. I approach a service desk in the women’s clothing department.)

Employee: “Hello!”

Me: “Hi there! I have a pile of online orders to return. Is this the right place to do that?”

Employee: “Oh. Um… I’m not sure how to do that. This is only my second day. Is it okay if I walk you over to another desk?”

Me: “Sure! No problem. Sorry to be complicated.”

Employee: “Sorry about that. I wish I knew how to help you.”

Me: “It’s fine, no problem. I have plenty of time.”

Employee: “Okay, the desk is right over here. Sorry again.”

Me: “It’s perfectly okay! I totally understand.”

Employee: “Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Me: “Look, it’s really fine. I promise. I am not in the least put out. You did fabulously.”

Employee: “Oh! Well… wow. Thank you for being so nice about it!”

Me: “Of course. Like any decent human being with half a brain could be upset about something like that.”

Employee: “Sorry, I’m just not used to people being nice… Everyone else I didn’t know how to help has yelled at me…”

(I do NOT miss working in retail, because of horrible, selfish people who yell at associates for things far beyond their control. I hope that employee had a better day!)

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Putting Him At Trees

| Cornelius, OR, USA | Awesome Workers, Holidays, Religion

(I am a cashier at a department store where we sell a little bit of everything. I work over in the Home department which includes Garden. It’s around 10 pm and just a few days until Christmas when I have this man come through my line with a Christmas Tree.)

Me: “Hi! Did you find everything all right today?”

Customer: “Yeah. I bet this is something you’ve never seen before. A Jewish man buying a Christmas tree.”

Me: *I look at him, not realizing he is Jewish, and then look at the tree and shrug* “No one said you had to get the tree to celebrate Christmas. I read somewhere that in Europe, in a country where the sun doesn’t come up for months at a time, that they would bring the trees into their house and decorate them with ornaments and candles because they knew that they wouldn’t see the light or nature again for months. And that’s where the Christmas tree supposedly comes from.”

Customer: *he stared at me and then grinned* “Wow! That actually makes me feel a lot better! Thanks!”

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Unhappy Holidays, Part 6

| AR, USA | Awesome Workers, Holidays

(I’m working the cash register at a shop that generally caters to Pagan practitioners, although we have a lot of customers around the holidays who come in for things like dream catchers and little statues for gifts. I finish ringing up an older lady wearing a crucifix necklace.)

Me: “Happy holidays!”

Customer: “It’s MERRY CHRISTMAS. Why can’t you just say Merry Christmas?”

Me: “Well, a good number of our patrons don’t celebrate Christmas. Since we and our customers celebrate a variety of holidays we—”

Customer: *interrupting me* “They’re just trying to take away our religious freedoms! I don’t care what anyone else celebrates; they can celebrate it in Hell. Until then, it’s ‘Merry Christmas.'”

Me: “You know what? Now that I think about it… instead of catering to someone else with different beliefs than mine, I should stick to my guns and speak what I know in my heart to be true. If anyone has a problem with the holidays I celebrate, that’s their problem, not mine.”

Customer: “Exactly!”

Me: “You have a blessed Yule, ma’am.”

(She glared at me and stormed out.)

Related:
Unhappy Holidays, Part 5
Unhappy Holidays, Part 4
Unhappy Holidays, Part 3

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