icon_awesomecustomers

Category: Awesome Customers

icon_awesome

The Kicker? They Didn’t Kick Anyone

| IA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Popular

(I am the customer in this story. It’s a Thursday and I’m at the end of my errands which have not been going well, especially at this place. I approach the clerk at the express checkout lane with my handful of items that took half an hour to gather.)

Clerk: “Hello, how are you doing today?”

Me: *frustrated and exhausted* “Hi, I’m terrible; how are you?”

Clerk: *she’s clearly taken back for a moment* “I’m sorry to hear that. Can I help?”

Me: “I’m sorry, this the sixth store I’ve been to today. It’s crowded everywhere; people are blocking the aisles and just wandering around like they’ve never been shopping before. How can two people obliviously stand and block an entire aisle without realizing they’re being rude to everyone else?”

Clerk: “Yes, they are the worst.”

Me: *defeated sigh* “I managed to not kick anyone.”

Clerk: “And I’m proud of you for it!”

(Thank you, underpaid grocery clerk, for listening to my problem. You made my day *so* much better.)

icon_awesomecustomers

I Want The Most Crappy Cake You Have

| Seattle, WA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(A customer is looking to buy a five-inch round cake for a birthday party, but after discussing how many people will be there, decides to get a half sheet instead. The bakery uses marzipan to make novelty and adult sculptures to put atop cakes. This particular half sheet has a stylized sculpture of a pile of poop on top of it, which he thought would get more laughs than our other selection.)

Customer: “Oh, thank you. I hadn’t really thought about how many guests there would be, but I’m sure everyone will get a kick out of this one!”

Me: “Glad to hear it! Now, that size of cake can be a bit heavy. Would you like help out to your car?”

Customer: “No worries. I have it!”

(He starts sliding the cake box off the counter.)

Customer: “Just gotta get my ke—”

(His supporting hand moves out from under the cake to his pocket and he pushes the entire cake off the counter, it somehow staying in its box.)

Me: “Oh…”

Customer: “Well… s***.”

(We ended up just slapping some extra icing on top and writing “for s***s and giggles” on it, as if that was the plan all along.)

icon_children

Kids Are Wonderful

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(I am a counselor, and am surrounded by about ten kids aged 5-12. Every single one of them are snorting trying to figure out who makes the better piggy noise. The youngest child, who is eight years old, runs over to me.)

Boy: *tugs on my shirt*

Me: “Yes?”

Boy: “It’s all going WONDERFULLY!”

(He ran back to make piggy noises like nothing happened, but I’m never going to forget the maniacal smile he was wearing.)