Category: Awesome Customers

A Cleaner With A Dirty Attitude

| MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Top

(The store that I work at tunes up vacuum cleaners for customers. The policy is that we service the machines on a first come, first serve basis and any use of a non-commercial model voids the warranty. A customer comes in to pick up her vacuum.)

Customer: “What the f*** took you people so long! And what the f*** makes you think I’m going to pay for this s***?! My machine is still under warranty! I’m not paying for s***! You motherf****ers can kiss my a** if you think I am!”

Me: “Ma’am, please stop swearing at me. I haven’t cursed at you, and I’ll ask you to extend me the same courtesy.”

Customer: “F*** you! I’m not swearing! And even if I was, I have a right! It took you f***ing forever to get me this f***ing machine, and I need it for my business!”

Me: “Ma’am, in the first place all machines are serviced on a first come first serve basis and we actually got your machine back two days earlier than promised. In the second place, you’ve just admitted that you use it in your business and the warranty clearly states that use of that machine for commercial purposes voids the warranty. So, I’m sorry, but I’ll have to request that you pay for all service done before I release the machine to you.”

Customer: “F*** you! I shouldn’t have to wait! I spend money here! Everyone knows that if you spend money you get to go first! And I’m not paying for s***! I clean nice houses with this machine! It’s not like I’m working down in some n**** neighborhood cleaning rent assistance places because those f***ing crack w****s don’t know how to pick up after themselves!”

(She then stands in the middle of the store screaming the f-word at me repeatedly. When she finally pauses for breath, another customer who has been waiting her turn gets her attention.)

Other Customer: “Excuse me. Did I hear you say you clean houses for a living?”

Customer: “Yeah, I clean nice houses. Why?”

Other Customer: “Do you have any business cards? I’ve been looking for a service and several of my friends have too.”

(The first customer gives me a smug look and hands the other customer several cards, which she examines and tucks in her purse.)

Other Customer: “Thank you. I just wanted to make sure no one I knew hired you by mistake. Now pay for your repairs before I call the police and tell them there’s a crazy person going berserk in the vacuum store.”

(The first customer pays, calls me several more choice names and leaves. When I ring up the other customer who told her off, I somehow manage to ‘accidentally’ hit the warranty key on all her repairs, and send her home with a couple of the homemade cookies I had made for my coworkers.)

February Themed Story Giveaway: Awesome Customers!

Not Always Right | Announcements, Awesome Customers, Theme Of The Month
Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
Enter Not Always Right’s February Themed Story Giveaway:
Awesome Customers!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about awesome customers.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning January’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Bad Behavior. The winning submission: Taking Account Of Your Actions (2,058 thumbs up).

PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, March 6!

Bright Makes Right

, | WI, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I am the drive-thru cashier on a slow day. Most of the few customers that have come through have been unpleasant or downright rude. During the early afternoon, a very cheerful customer comes through.)

Me: “Welcome to [store name]. What can we make for you today?”

Customer: “Hi! How are you today?”

Me: “I’m doing alright, thanks. You?”

Customer: “Wonderful! Can I have two waters and a [dessert item]?”

Me: “Alright, that’s [total] and I’ll see you at the window.”

(When the car pulls up, I see two teenage girls, both with big smiles on their faces. I hand them their water and take their money before handing them their treat. Before handing the treat out, the passenger leans forward and speaks up loud enough for the entire kitchen to hear.)

Passenger: “That’s for you guys, on us! Friend told us y’all were having a bad day; we wanted to cheer you up! Have a great day!”

(It worked! It totally made my whole day so much better!)

How To Make The Customer Blossom

| Canada | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Top

(A gentleman approaches the counter; he is clearly well-off and his tone is rather arrogant and sharp.)

Customer: “You’re going to make me a bouquet for my wife, for delivery.”

Me: “Oh, wonderful! For an anniversary?”

Customer: “Yes.” *scoffs* “Give me roses.”

(The customer proceeds to waste both our time making disparaging remarks regarding our roses, and brushing me off when I state they aren’t cleaned yet. He is arrogant and rude about the delivery times, and orders me about a little more. By the end I’m answering him quite sharply and quickly; he seems to notice. We part ways amicably. A couple of days pass; the customer comes in while I’m working with my boss. He points at me.)

Customer: “You! You made up a bouquet for my wife the other day.”

Me: “Yes, sir. How did she like it?”

Customer: “Fine. I left my debit card, though.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t catch that. I’ll just get it from the office.”

(I’m now off-shift and punched out. While we wait for the supervisor to bring the card, I make small talk.)

Me: “So, she liked the flowers? How thoughtful to make sure she got flowers on her anniversary!”

(He visibly warms towards me. He receives his card.)

Customer: “I need three roses. I need your help.”

(We choose three beautiful, long-stemmed yellow roses. I wrap them up for him and put him through, and pass him the roses. He hands them back to me.)

Customer: “These are for you. The bouquet for my wife was beautiful; she loved it. Thank you for everything.”

(I beamed for the rest of the day!)

Taiwannical Behavior

| Taiwan | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Language & Words

(I’m browsing in a bookstore in Taiwan, when I notice two Caucasian customers looking in the Young Teenage Girls section and laughing.)

Customer: *to his friend, in English* “Watch this.”

(He grabs a random book and hands it to an employee.)

Employee: *in somewhat broken English* “Can… I… help you?”

Customer: “Yes. I should like that you would exemplify the thesis behind the philosophies illustrated in this literature.”

(I’m looking at them now, rolling my eyes, but the pair are having a good time of it and don’t notice me. The employee is very confused and mutters in English as best he can.)

Employee: “Eh… uhh… sorry?”

Man: *gesturing as he speaks* “You. Need to. Exemplify. The. Theories. Of the. Thesis. As manifest. In this literature.”

(It’s obvious the customer has no idea what he himself is saying, and is just having a laugh at the employee’s expense. The other guy with him has a wide grin on his face like he’s thoroughly enjoying the exchange. I’ve had enough, so I go to the employee, take the book out of his hands, turn to the synopsis given on the back cover and turn to the two guys.)

Me: *in perfect English* “A girl’s parents have just divorced and the father moves her to a new school. She’s having difficulty adjusting to a new environment and life as a young woman and the changes to her body as he matures. Because she’s new, she’s having a difficult time telling anyone about it and doesn’t know how to tell her father about the various changes she is experiencing with her body. She falls for a popular boy, but she’s new and awkward and nobody likes her. Eventually, she contemplates suicide.”

(The two customers are staring at me like I’ve got ten heads. I decide to rub it in a little further.)

Me: “What the h*** is this? You managed to find the girliest book in here!”

Customer: *opens his mouth, as if to say something*

Me: “Where’re you from?”

Man: “Uh, uh, uh, uh… CANADA!”

(Embarrassed, he and his friend dash out of the store.)

Me: *to the employee in Mandarin* “They were just screwing with you. There’s only one thing you need to know in English if something like that ever happens again: you tell them:” *in English* “F*** off!”