Category: Awesome Customers


Gangsta Needed To Get Spanked

| Jefferson City, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Popular

(I am working a 12-hour day since two other employees are on vacation. I am on my final hour, and have just finished with some “wannabe gangstas,” who are very rude and obviously drunk. I go check on another customer.)

Me: *sighs* “Hello. Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: *in her mid-20s* “Yeah. Sorry about them.”

Me: “Thanks.”

Customer: “Yeah, my parents disciplined me when I was younger so I grew up with a condition called ‘respect for others.’”


Trying To Give The Waitress (Bread) Schtick

| Norman, OK, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Popular

(I’m the customer in this story. I’m out to dinner with friends at an Italian restaurant famous for their breadsticks. I’m in a good mood and like interacting with the staff at restaurants.)

Waitress: “Hello, everyone, I’m [Waitress] and I’ll be serving you tonight. What can I get you to drink?”

(We place our drink orders.)

Waitress: “Can I get you any appetizers?”

Me: “I don’t think so, but we definitely want the breadsticks. The breadsticks are the bomb. They’re the reason I come here.”

Waitress: “Not the excellent service?”

Me: “Depends on how many breadsticks the waitstaff brings me.”

(We all laugh and my friends roll their eyes at me. I’m known to make terrible puns and bad jokes with the wait staff, so they figure this is just another one of those times. The waitress comes back.)

Waitress: *places two baskets of breadsticks on the table* “Technically I’m not supposed to do this, but here’s two baskets. Don’t say you didn’t get the best service from me!”

Me: “Why, thank you so much! These are awesome! Someone’s looking for a good tip!” *winks*

Waitress: *grins back* “Just doing my job.”

(After we finish our dinner, we ask for to-go boxes.)

Waitress: *to me* “Wow, looks like you didn’t eat much of your food! Not terribly hungry?”

Me: “Well… you brought us so much bread.”

(Everyone laughs.)

Waitress: *after a pause* “Okay, that’s it! No dessert for you tonight!”

(She comes back and gives us our to-go boxes.)

Waitress: “Would anybody like dessert?”

Me: “Oh, not me. I ate too—”

Waitress: “Oh, not you. You don’t get dessert, remember? You just sit in your little corner there.”

Me: *sheepishly turns to the wall trying to act pouty*

(In the end we all had a good laugh and a great time at dinner. I left her a hefty tip for playing along.)


Don’t Scratch The Body

| Crystal City, VA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Transportation

(I am the customer, picking up a rental car. The clerk has a trainee who is doing the looking-for-damages walk around the car.)

Trainee: *opens trunk* “No dead bodies!”

Me: “Is that an extra cost option?”

Trainee: “Not if you bring it back in the same condition.”

Me: “I’ll do my best…”


Will Get Indigestion From The Suggestion

| VA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre

(I work at a mom-and-pop bakery. For some reason our manager decides it would be a good idea to add a suggestion box. These were some of the stranger suggestions we got…)

Suggestion #1: “Chipotle taco flavored cookies.”

Suggestion #2: “A rollerblading purple walrus mascot.”

Suggestion #3: *my personal favorite* “Extend the bakery and add a mini strip club where people can really take pleasure in their desserts…”


Expressly Apologetic

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Popular

(While shopping, I pick up just a few things on the way home. I make my way to the registers and see a lone “six items or less” line open. I then almost skid to a stop when I see someone with a mostly full cart skid to a stop. Just as I’m about to turn around and head to another lane, she looks up.)

Woman: “Oh, s***!”

Cashier: “Are you all right!?”

Woman: “No, I didn’t even see this was an express lane! Oh, shoot, I’m so sorry. Here, go, go!”

(She then proceeded to wave me and the next two people who came up ahead of her; the cashier said he’d take her still since she was letting others through, and I guess she figured that still would have been quicker than re-loading all her stuff on the cart. Or maybe it was a self-imposed penance, but whatever the case, thank you to the lady that can admit your mistakes!)

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