Category: Awesome Customers

Saw The Fire Before The Storm

| Clarksville, IN, USA | Awesome Customers, Non-Dialogue

I’m the dufus in this story.

As I park in front of the hardware store, I notice fire trucks actively working on a small fire inside the store. I get out of my car, thinking “Maybe I can just… ” only to turn around, get back in my car, and drive off thinking, “No, I don’t want to appear on Not Always Right.”

Don’t Sweats It

, | Louisville, KY, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I work part-time for now and have several days in a row with no work. One day I pre-order a pizza from a chain that assembles your pizza to order a la Chipotle and then roll out of bed in my sweats to go pick it up. It’s busy; there are several people behind me ordering in person. I get to the cashier)

Me: “Online order for [My Name].”

Cashier: “Okay, please sign the receipt; here is your cup for your fountain drink.”

(I wander off to fill my cup, then sit at a table to wait for my pizza. After about ten minutes I get a little curious as it usually only takes five-seven for my pizza to be ready. I look up from my phone and see that the oven is empty. A manager sees me looking and calls over.)

Manager: “Did you order and pay?”

Me: “Yeah…”

(Cashier looks behind her and sees my pizza still waiting to be put in the oven.)

Cashier: “Oh, shoot!”

(I look back down at my phone to keep reading my book, but then the manager is at my table handing me a card for a free pizza. I try to say no, but he insists so I accept and go back to my book again. I get my pizza, I eat in store, and as I’m leaving I see the cashier now wiping down tables.)

Cashier: “Sorry again about your wait!”

Me: “Girl, you just saw me eat a whole pizza in the middle of the afternoon wearing the sweats I slept in last night. I don’t have anywhere else to be. Don’t worry.”

A Library’s Worth Of Mistakes

| Awesome Customers

(I’m the dumb one in this story. It’s the early morning, and I’ve stopped at the grocery store a few blocks from home to pick up what will become my lunch for the day. It doesn’t take long to get what I want, and I’ve managed to beat the breakfast rush, so there’s hardly any line.)

Cashier: “Hello, how are you this morning?”

Me: “Not remotely a morning person.” *light chuckle*

(I open my wallet and pull out a card to pay the man, but the card reader gives me an error message that makes me look down… embarrassed, I show the cashier the card I’ve pulled out.)

Me: “Case in point… I’ve just tried to pay for lunch with my library card.”

Cashier: *gives me a kind smile* “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

(I manage to laugh it off, pay for my food with the proper card, and walk out to face the day. Skip forward to early evening. I’m at the same store picking up dinner on my way home… and once AGAIN, I attempt to pay with my library card, in spite of the fact that it looks nothing like my debit card. At this point, there are no excuses, so I decide to own up to it.)

Me: *loudly enough for people to hear* “Ladies, gentlemen, and assorted others, may I have your attention, please… I’d like to take this moment to announce that I. Am. An idiot. …That is all. Thank you for your time.”

(A couple of people stared as I walked out. I let them.)

Has Confidence In Your Network

| USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Technology

Customer: “I cannot get on VPN.”

Me: “Okay, do you have any error message?”

Customer: “Hang on a second. First I have to connect to Wi-Fi right?”

Me: “Yes, that would help for sure.”

Customer: “How do I do that? Shall I click on that bars icon?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Now I have a list of possibilities. Which is correct, [his, not very common, last name]’s network?”

Me: “That sounds like the one.”

Customer: “Now it says ‘connected’. What is next? Internet Explorer?”

Me: “Yes, and then go to VPN landing page.”

Customer: “Oh, is it [exactly correct URL]?”

Me: “Yes, that is the one.”

Customer: “Now what? It is asking for user name and password. Is it [correct ID] and [correct type of password]?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Oh, it says that I’m connected to VPN. Thank you very much for your help.”

Me: “No problem, sir. I just do not know what should I put in your ticket.”

Customer: “Oh, put there that I just needed some confidence.”

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Improved Your Pun Ten-fold

| Essex, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Puns

(I’m the deputy editor of a paid newspaper and I am answering phones whilst we have a competition where readers have to phone in with their best pun. I receive a call from a customer.)

Me: “Hello, [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

Caller: “I’m phoning about the competition in your newspaper.”

Me: “Certainly, sir, what do you wish to enquire?”

Caller: “I hate to say but I have a complaint.”

Me: “That’s perfectly all right, sir. What is your complaint?”

Caller: “Well, I entered your current competition and not expecting many other puns to be entered, I entered ten.”

Me: “Yes, what is the problem, sir?”

Caller: “Well I expected one to win but no pun in-ten did.”

Me: *speechless*

Caller: *maniacal laugh* *click*

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