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Category: Awesome Customers

Just Made Her (Mother’s) Day

| Milford, CT, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

(I am a hostess, and this story happens the Friday before Mother’s Day. I am standing at the register at the entrance to the restaurant when a gentleman in his early 40s who had been dining alone approaches me.)

Customer: “Do I pay up here?”

Me: “Oh! No, sir, you pay with your waitress. Let me grab her for you.”

(I go to the back and bring the waitress up to the front with me.)

Customer: *to waitress* “So, my bill was $18?”

Waitress: “Yes. ”

Customer: “Do you have a family?”

Waitress: “Uh… yes.”

Customer: “You have kids?”

Waitress: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, then. This is for my check.” *hands coworker a $20 bill* “… and this is for you.” *hands coworker a $50 bill* “Happy Mother’s Day!”

(At this point, the customer leaves before the waitress can even say ‘thank you.’)

Waitress: *to me* “I think I’m gonna cry.”

Russian Into Things

| AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

(One evening a very obviously young teenager (15 or 16) comes in and tries to buy a pornographic magazine. After I inform him I can’t sell to him without seeing an ID he sticks around and starts chatting me up. I am a very tall woman in my mid-twenties while he was very short and petite.)

Kid: “You know, the main reason I wanted to buy a magazine is because I’ve been deprived of the company of women for most of my life. You see…” *he leans up against the counter, looks around the room and says in a stage whisper* “…I was trained from birth in a Russian compound to be a deadly assassin.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Go on…”

Kid: “I’m the best there is at the trade. I became the youngest secret KGB agent.”

Me: “The KGB actually hasn’t existed for several years now.”

Kid: *nodding gravely* “That’s because I took them all out when I went rogue. Since then I’ve been freelancing. But now that I have more money than I know what to do with, I’ve been thinking about getting out of the game. You know, finding a beautiful woman and settling down in my French chateau. What do you say? Want me to take you away from all this?”

Me: *having serious trouble keeping a straight face* “That’s very sweet. But aren’t I a little too old for you? Not to mention I’m nearly two feet taller.”

Kid: “That’s okay. That’s the way we like ’em in Russia!”

Me: “Kid, you are one cocky little s***. If you weren’t underage I’d buy you a drink.”

Kid: “Well, if you come with me we can go to a country where the legal drinking age is much lower. You know, in Russia I’ve already reached the age of consent. If you get my drift…”

Me: “Thanks, but I’m afraid I’ll have to pass.”

Kid: *sigh* “Oh well it, was worth a try. Do svidaniya!”

Sharing A Story About Not Sharing

| CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(A coworker is offering macaroons at work. He had never had them before but had bought a whole lot of them, and we get to hear the story of why he had bought them.)

Coworker: “There’s a cake shop near my house. I go there all the time, and there’s a regular customer I see there who is really mean. That day she said she was going to buy some macaroons and not share any with her grandkids. I was ahead of her in line, so when it was my turn, I said ‘I’d like to buy all your macaroons!.'”