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Category: Awesome Customers

Must Go To A Happy-Apping Church

| UT, USA | Awesome Customers, Religion, Technology, Top

(I work for a large, nationwide cellphone retailer in their customer service call center. I’m trying to assist a customer with troubleshooting her smartphone which is doing a number of odd things.)

Customer: “The screen freezes, applications crash, it’s going slow, and calls drop. Once the screen goes into sleep mode on a call I can’t get it to come back up, but then I can’t get it to automatically go into sleep mode otherwise. Someone else has to hang up otherwise the phone will just keep going on the call. On top of all that, the camera. OH, THE CAMERA! It will randomly take pictures! I don’t even have to have the camera up! The flash will go off and a picture appears on the screen!”

Me: “Wow… sounds like you need a priest, not a technician.”

Customer: *without skipping a beat* “THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEE! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEE! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEE!”

Me: “Thank you… That made my night.”

The True Appliance Of Science

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Awesome Customers, Math & Science, Top

(I volunteer at a children’s museum in their dinosaur area, where I work in the lab. We work behind a glass window that we keep open so the kids can ask us questions about the bones we are cleaning.)

Every Kid: *completely ignoring me* “Wow! A real dinosaur bone!”

One Awesome Kid: *staring directly at me* “Wow! A real scientist!”

An Off-Color Purchase

| Dedham, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I work in the beer and wine department of a large supermarket chain. A very elderly customer comes in a couple times a month and asks us to give him two different white wines, six bottles of each. This day, he approaches me.)

Customer: “Could you help me? I want two red wines, six bottles of each.”

Me: “What do you typically like?”

Customer: “I don’t care. What do you think I’ll like?”

(I suggest a couple wines, he takes them without complaint.)

Customer: “You know, for ten years I’ve been drinking nothing but white wine, because I didn’t want to spill it and stain the carpet. But you know what I realized? F*** it!”