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Category: Awesome Customers

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A Library’s Worth Of Mistakes

| Awesome Customers

(I’m the dumb one in this story. It’s the early morning, and I’ve stopped at the grocery store a few blocks from home to pick up what will become my lunch for the day. It doesn’t take long to get what I want, and I’ve managed to beat the breakfast rush, so there’s hardly any line.)

Cashier: “Hello, how are you this morning?”

Me: “Not remotely a morning person.” *light chuckle*

(I open my wallet and pull out a card to pay the man, but the card reader gives me an error message that makes me look down… embarrassed, I show the cashier the card I’ve pulled out.)

Me: “Case in point… I’ve just tried to pay for lunch with my library card.”

Cashier: *gives me a kind smile* “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

(I manage to laugh it off, pay for my food with the proper card, and walk out to face the day. Skip forward to early evening. I’m at the same store picking up dinner on my way home… and once AGAIN, I attempt to pay with my library card, in spite of the fact that it looks nothing like my debit card. At this point, there are no excuses, so I decide to own up to it.)

Me: *loudly enough for people to hear* “Ladies, gentlemen, and assorted others, may I have your attention, please… I’d like to take this moment to announce that I. Am. An idiot. …That is all. Thank you for your time.”

(A couple of people stared as I walked out. I let them.)

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Has Confidence In Your Network

| USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Technology

Customer: “I cannot get on VPN.”

Me: “Okay, do you have any error message?”

Customer: “Hang on a second. First I have to connect to Wi-Fi right?”

Me: “Yes, that would help for sure.”

Customer: “How do I do that? Shall I click on that bars icon?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Now I have a list of possibilities. Which is correct, [his, not very common, last name]’s network?”

Me: “That sounds like the one.”

Customer: “Now it says ‘connected’. What is next? Internet Explorer?”

Me: “Yes, and then go to VPN landing page.”

Customer: “Oh, is it [exactly correct URL]?”

Me: “Yes, that is the one.”

Customer: “Now what? It is asking for user name and password. Is it [correct ID] and [correct type of password]?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Oh, it says that I’m connected to VPN. Thank you very much for your help.”

Me: “No problem, sir. I just do not know what should I put in your ticket.”

Customer: “Oh, put there that I just needed some confidence.”

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Improved Your Pun Ten-fold

| Essex, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Puns

(I’m the deputy editor of a paid newspaper and I am answering phones whilst we have a competition where readers have to phone in with their best pun. I receive a call from a customer.)

Me: “Hello, [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

Caller: “I’m phoning about the competition in your newspaper.”

Me: “Certainly, sir, what do you wish to enquire?”

Caller: “I hate to say but I have a complaint.”

Me: “That’s perfectly all right, sir. What is your complaint?”

Caller: “Well, I entered your current competition and not expecting many other puns to be entered, I entered ten.”

Me: “Yes, what is the problem, sir?”

Caller: “Well I expected one to win but no pun in-ten did.”

Me: *speechless*

Caller: *maniacal laugh* *click*

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Tipped To Be An Interesting Closing

| Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Money

(It is after closing after a LONG day waitressing. I was stiffed on a tip by a large party that I was really nice to, and am in a bad mood. I am helping my friend clear the bar when a woman from the party comes up and starts knocking frantically on the front door. She can’t see me, and I contemplate just not answering for a moment.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re closed for the night.”

Woman: “Oh, thank heaven, it’s you!” *she looked a little manic*

Me: “Um, yes? Did you forget something at your table?”

Woman: “Yes! Your tip! I thought my sister was paying it, but she paid for the drinks, instead of my brother, who I thought was paying for the drinks, but he didn’t pay for anything!”

Me: “Huh?” *long day, and this woman is hyper*

Woman: “HERE!”

(She shoved a wad of cash in my hand and darted out. They ended up tipping about 40% on a three-figure bill. I was really glad I answered the door.)

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You’ve Enabled Me

| Plano, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(My friend and I are shopping at a store when an employee comes to ask if we need help. She seems to have a mental disability.)

Employee: “Can I help you find anything?”

Me: “Not right now, but I’ll be sure to let you know if I need anything.”

Employee: *shocked* “Can you wait here for a minute?”

Me: “Sure.”

(She rushes to the back while my friend and I glance at each other, confused. When the employee comes back, she has a woman with her who I assume is her manager.)

Manager: “Is it true that you said you would ask [Employee] for help if you needed anything?”

Me: “Um, yes.”

Manager: “I just want to thank you on behalf of the store and everyone here. The last customer who she tried to help yelled at her because she has a disability. You just made her day!”

(My friend and I were given discounts on our purchases, and any time we return to the store, we always ask for the employee. She smiles every time she sees us.)

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