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Category: Awesome Customers

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I Want The Most Crappy Cake You Have

| Seattle, WA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(A customer is looking to buy a five-inch round cake for a birthday party, but after discussing how many people will be there, decides to get a half sheet instead. The bakery uses marzipan to make novelty and adult sculptures to put atop cakes. This particular half sheet has a stylized sculpture of a pile of poop on top of it, which he thought would get more laughs than our other selection.)

Customer: “Oh, thank you. I hadn’t really thought about how many guests there would be, but I’m sure everyone will get a kick out of this one!”

Me: “Glad to hear it! Now, that size of cake can be a bit heavy. Would you like help out to your car?”

Customer: “No worries. I have it!”

(He starts sliding the cake box off the counter.)

Customer: “Just gotta get my ke—”

(His supporting hand moves out from under the cake to his pocket and he pushes the entire cake off the counter, it somehow staying in its box.)

Me: “Oh…”

Customer: “Well… s***.”

(We ended up just slapping some extra icing on top and writing “for s***s and giggles” on it, as if that was the plan all along.)

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Kids Are Wonderful

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(I am a counselor, and am surrounded by about ten kids aged 5-12. Every single one of them are snorting trying to figure out who makes the better piggy noise. The youngest child, who is eight years old, runs over to me.)

Boy: *tugs on my shirt*

Me: “Yes?”

Boy: “It’s all going WONDERFULLY!”

(He ran back to make piggy noises like nothing happened, but I’m never going to forget the maniacal smile he was wearing.)

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The Calm After The Storm

| NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Movies & TV, Popular

(This particular story happens the day after a really bad snow storm. The storm leads to us shutting down early the day before, numerous employee call outs because they still can’t get to work, and several of our company’s smaller locations nearby to have shut down for the day. My coworker and I are in the box office with a massively long line that is out the door.)

Me: “I’m so sorry about the wait. What would you like to see today?”

Customer: “I’d like one ticket to [Movie], and there is no need to apologize. There was a blizzard yesterday. I’m just glad you guys are open.”

(I finish the transaction and call the next person.)

Me: “I’m so sorry about the wait. What would you like to see today?”

Customer: “We’d like two for [Movie] and it’s fine. You guys are doing your best and it’s not a big deal that we had to wait a little while.”

(After several more transactions like this my coworker turns to me.)

Coworker: “Are we in the Twilight Zone or something? Everyone is being polite about waiting in line.”

Me: “We’ve clearly entered some alternate universe where customers are nice to us.”