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Category: Awesome Customers

His Name Is Olaf And He Likes Hot Cheeseburgers

| AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am a male and take chats from the website of a large North American cable company.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Company] sales chat! My name is [My Name]. May I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Yes, [My Name], it’s Olaf!”

Me: “Hello, Olaf! How may I assist you today?”

Customer: “I need Internet, and I have a few questions. One: which service is best for gaming. Two: how much is a rental modem, and do you like cheeseburgers?”

Me: “Well, Olaf, that would be [Product], that modem is $3.99 per month, and I love cheeseburgers! Now, let’s get this ordered. I’ll be on with you to make sure all goes well!”

(The customer goes through the order without interruption, and an order number populates my screen.)

Me: “I see that order is [number]! Is there anything else I can assist you with today?”

Customer: “Well, [My Name], that was easy! I have to say, my name really isn’t Olaf. It’s too bad I’m married, because I think I have a crush on you.”

Me: “Ha ha ha, And I, you, Not-Olaf!”

Customer: “If only this did not have to end.”

Me: “Alas, Not-Olaf all things come to an end. So I must ask: is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “D***, I knew you would say that! But I guess I’ve bothered you enough. Goodbye, sexy.”

Me: “Bye Not-Olaf! This made my day!”

(Customer closes chat.)

Speaking The Same Amount Of The Same Language

| ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Language & Words

Customer: “Bonjour! Comment ca va?”

Me: “Ca va bien, et toi?”

Customer: “Ca va bien!”

Me: “That’s it. That’s all I got. That’s all I know how to say.”

Customer: “Me, too!”

Me: “Well, we really sounded like we knew what we were talking about, didn’t we?!”

Customer: “We sure did!”

Self-Helpless Against Stupidity

| Middletown, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(One of the local supermarkets recently ‘upgraded’ their self-checkout systems. While nominally faster, the new systems are more complicated and far more prone to bugs. The first time I hit the ‘use a coupon’ button the whole screen is covered with a ‘please wait for attendant’ warning. One of the workers comes over.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I don’t know what happened.”

Attendant: “Let me guess. You needed to use a coupon?”

Me: “Um… yeah?”

Attendant: “No problem. One second.”

(She swipes her ID card, types in a code, swipes the coupon, hits ‘done,’ and puts it in the slot.)

Attendant: “There you go.”

Me: “I guess there’s a problem with the coupon part?”

Attendant: “Yeah, we had a rash of people having issues with the sensor when putting the coupons in the slot who were just about ripping the machine apart instead of asking for any help at all.”

Me: “There’s no way they’d be that—”

(As if scripted, there’s suddenly a loud banging just behind us at the other machine; another shopper’s receipt jams in the printer because they tried to yank it out before it was done printing, and she is now PUNCHING the printer to try to get it to work.)

Me: “…okay, thank you for the help. Have a nice day and God’s speed, brave warrior!”

Attendant: “Once more into the breach!”

Human Kindness Is A Simple Formula

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

(A couple with a small child comes up to my register with a WIC transaction, which goes through without a problem until…)

Me: “I am sorry but your formula didn’t go through.”

(The couple is buying nine containers of formula at around $18 each.)

Mother: What? Let me see.

(I show them the slip and the starting balance, which shows no formula was offered through the program.)

Father: “Great… and it’s Sunday so we can’t call them. Well, take off all but one and we’ll talk to them tomorrow.”

(I nod and take allow them to purchase just the one can of formula with the rest of their items.)

Me: “I’m sorry about that but h—”

(At this moment the next customers in line, both 20ish year old females cut in.)

Female #1: *handing me $20* “I’ll buy one of them.”

Mother: *shocked* “Y… you don’t have—”

Female #2: *doing the same* “We had parents that were just like you; please allow us to help.”

Mother: *nearly to tears* “N… no, please don’t.”

(Eventually, the pair got the mother to the accept the gifts, and when the pair was done with their regular purchases, I still couldn’t believe what happened and that there were still people who believed in the simple formula of human kindness!)

Got Him Out Of A Pickle

| AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(It is nearing the end of my shift and I am busy with cleaning the lobby since I have no customers. A girl’s volleyball team from one of the local schools enters and I wait on them. When they sit at their tables, they begin getting quite loud and obnoxious, deliberately spilling their meals everywhere, and some even throwing pickles at the window and seeing if they could really race them as they slid down, like in the movie ‘Billy Madison.’ While they are getting ready to leave, I am getting the mop bucket and such ready to clean up the mess straight away. The coach of the volleyball team stops me.)

Coach: “Give me those.”

Me: “Oh, no, sir. It’s quite all right. This is just part of my job.”

Coach: “I understand that, but my girls were very irresponsible tonight. I need to teach them this kind of behavior is not acceptable.”

(In a surprised daze, I give all my cleaning supplies over to the man and he gathers up all the girls.)

Coach: *to his team* “You think this kind of behavior is funny? That you can just come in here, make complete fools of yourself, trash the place up, and just leave? I expected better from all of you. I hope you all have as much fun doing this young man’s job for him as you had making this mess.”

(The coach forced his entire team to clean up the mess, from sweeping to mopping to cleaning off the windows, until the entire lobby was clean. The entire time he watched with a look of disappointment. I applauded the man for taking amazing action with teaching a lesson above and beyond a spot.)

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