Category: Awesome Customers

In For A Penny…

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Money, Popular

(I am working as a bank teller at a bank branch near our city’s mall, so a lot of my customers are mall employees either making deposits, getting change for their stores, or cashing their paychecks. I am waiting on a newer employee from of the men’s clothing stores, and since I didn’t know his name yet I had been referring to him (in my head) as Tie Guy.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Tie Guy: “I just need to get my paycheck cashed, please.”

Me: “No problem, it’ll be just a minute.” *I process his check through the computer* “Would you like it back any certain way?” *I always ask because some customers are extremely picky about their money*

Tie Guy: *jokingly* “American currency is fine.”

(I reach under my counter and pull out a $10 box of rolled pennies, which is pretty heavy and makes a loud thud when it hits the countertop.)

Me: *also jokingly* “I hope you brought a suitcase then. It’s going to take a lot of boxes.”

(Tie Guy just stares at the box, and then me for a few seconds, then starts laughing.)

Tie Guy: “Maybe I should be more specific next time?”

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Heroic Rescue Required On Aisle Three

| Antwerp, Belgium | Awesome Customers, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(I’m a customer in this one. I’m in line at the registers when the girl behind the till opens the register to take out change. The customer punches her in the face and grabs a handful of 50€ bills from the register and runs for it! On his way out he checks over his back looking if he’s followed and fails to see another customer swing his arm back. He runs, full speed, face first, into the other customer’s fist. His upper body tilts backwards while his legs keep going for a bit, and he ends up knocking the back of his head on the floor; he’s out cold. The customer takes the money and returns it to the cashier, and then turns to the manager who just dialed the police.)

Customer: “Do you think I’ll be able to get my shopping done before I have to go down to the station to testify and stuff?”

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Gangsta Needed To Get Spanked

| Jefferson City, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Popular

(I am working a 12-hour day since two other employees are on vacation. I am on my final hour, and have just finished with some “wannabe gangstas,” who are very rude and obviously drunk. I go check on another customer.)

Me: *sighs* “Hello. Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: *in her mid-20s* “Yeah. Sorry about them.”

Me: “Thanks.”

Customer: “Yeah, my parents disciplined me when I was younger so I grew up with a condition called ‘respect for others.’”

Trying To Give The Waitress (Bread) Schtick

| Norman, OK, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Popular

(I’m the customer in this story. I’m out to dinner with friends at an Italian restaurant famous for their breadsticks. I’m in a good mood and like interacting with the staff at restaurants.)

Waitress: “Hello, everyone, I’m [Waitress] and I’ll be serving you tonight. What can I get you to drink?”

(We place our drink orders.)

Waitress: “Can I get you any appetizers?”

Me: “I don’t think so, but we definitely want the breadsticks. The breadsticks are the bomb. They’re the reason I come here.”

Waitress: “Not the excellent service?”

Me: “Depends on how many breadsticks the waitstaff brings me.”

(We all laugh and my friends roll their eyes at me. I’m known to make terrible puns and bad jokes with the wait staff, so they figure this is just another one of those times. The waitress comes back.)

Waitress: *places two baskets of breadsticks on the table* “Technically I’m not supposed to do this, but here’s two baskets. Don’t say you didn’t get the best service from me!”

Me: “Why, thank you so much! These are awesome! Someone’s looking for a good tip!” *winks*

Waitress: *grins back* “Just doing my job.”

(After we finish our dinner, we ask for to-go boxes.)

Waitress: *to me* “Wow, looks like you didn’t eat much of your food! Not terribly hungry?”

Me: “Well… you brought us so much bread.”

(Everyone laughs.)

Waitress: *after a pause* “Okay, that’s it! No dessert for you tonight!”

(She comes back and gives us our to-go boxes.)

Waitress: “Would anybody like dessert?”

Me: “Oh, not me. I ate too—”

Waitress: “Oh, not you. You don’t get dessert, remember? You just sit in your little corner there.”

Me: *sheepishly turns to the wall trying to act pouty*

(In the end we all had a good laugh and a great time at dinner. I left her a hefty tip for playing along.)

Don’t Scratch The Body

| Crystal City, VA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Transportation

(I am the customer, picking up a rental car. The clerk has a trainee who is doing the looking-for-damages walk around the car.)

Trainee: *opens trunk* “No dead bodies!”

Me: “Is that an extra cost option?”

Trainee: “Not if you bring it back in the same condition.”

Me: “I’ll do my best…”

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